i've been thinking about your suggestion that J refrain from trying to enlist the active support or reinforcement of her husband's family in her efforts to persuade him to see his dr for a re-evaluation of his meds, the rationale being that he needs to have someone he feels he can trust while he and J are estranged. this consideration had never occurred to me!
i have to think about it some more. thanks for raising this issue.
does your husband have any siblings or other immediate family whom you could enlist to help you talk him into going to a hosp?
other than that, i am afraid that your only recourse probably involves getting the help of a lawyer. even then, your options, i am guessing, are --
-- to petition a court for a power of attorney over your husband's finances and/or his health care decisions on the grounds that he is not thinking clearly enough to manage his own affairs in these respects;
-- if you want to have full control over the decisions your husband would otherwise make, you would petition for a conservatorship, which is similar to a guardianship except it is for adults rather than children;
-- to petition a court for an order requiring your husband to provide support for you and the children until the circumstances become less complicated; depending on your state's law, this kind of order may be called a "divorce from bed and board," a "partial divorce," or "separate maintenance" and is basically an agreement for a legal separation; you stay married to each other but do not live together; or
-- to petition a court for a divorce, also called an "absolute divorce" or a "divorce from the bonds of matrimony"; this type of divorce dissolves the marriage altogether.
no matter what resolution you anticipate or think you might want to consider, you need to see a lawyer now, meaning tomorrow morning before you do one single other thing. the second thing you should do tomorrow -- two minutes after you call a lawyer -- is to establish a separate bank acct from your husband. beyond that, you need professional advice on setting up money arrangements, temporary support for you while you cannot work because of the baby's arrival, a child custody agreement, and child support, including for the new baby, at the very least.
even if you do not want a divorce, you need legal advice on a multitude of issues, esp because children and a new baby are involved. you should get a lawyer who is an expert in divorce or family law. if no one you know can recommend an experienced lawyer, call the women's shelter and ask if they have a list of lawyers they suggest for consultation with their clients.
oral agreements between you and your husband might not be binding in your state. in order to be fully protected, you need to have a written court order that governs the details of how you separate your joint property, whether you and/or your children can still be covered under your husband's health insurance plan and/or pension benefits (with an absolute divorce, it is extremely unlikely that you can continue to be covered under your husband's health insurance, no matter what your husband or his lawyer or his employer says, altho your children may be eligible for continued coverage), and how you reach agreement on other provisions for day-to-day logistics.
with your children and your pregnancy, your situation is very complex; please do not try to manage it without the help of a lawyer. do not sign anything unless your lawyer looks at it first, and do not make any formal or informal statements or meet with your husband's lawyer unless your lawyer is with you, no matter how much your husband, his lawyer, or his employer insists that it is "just a formality," that it "doesn't matter in the long run," or that you "cannot get a divorce without it."
finally, i need to make one thing clear -- these are only my opinions. i don't know what state's law applies in your case, and obviously i don't know all of the applicable facts. you should not consider my statements to be "legal advice" in the sense that i could be held accountable for inaccuracies in what i've said.
i know this, tho -- you need to talk to a lawyer as soon as you possibly can.
i send you caring thoughts and hope that things will work out in a way that gives you peace of mind.
you need to call your husband's dr first thing on monday morning.
i don't want to scare you, but personality changes like this can signal all sorts of serious problems; they could be medication-related (see PS1, PS2, PS3), but they could also be caused by the onset of dementia or various types of injury to the brain. however, i am not a medical person and you need professional advice about this.
is your husband taking any meds other than the ropinirole and the amantadine?
i send caring thoughts to you and your husband and hope you will keep us posted on how the both of you are doing.
i must have stayed up too late last night, because i am re-reading my response and realize that it came out terribly garbled. my definitions for adiadochokinesia and for bradykinesia are right, but the contrast i drew was exactly the opposite of what it should have been; in other words, i said there was a speed contrast between them but there isn't one (see PS). in addition, i think i should have focused on the structure of the movements involved as well as their speed.
i am so sorry, and i'll try to correct this, but if i still get it wrong or incomprehensible, i hope that dr. stacy or anyone who is more knowledgeable than i am (meaning, practically everybody in the known universe!) will jump in and say, "no, no, she's got it all wrong again, here's what she should have said." i won't be offended, believe me, i'll be relieved that the correct comparison was made.
adiadochokinesia concerns the inability to make movements that are alternating and rapid, with one significant Q being whether they can alternate -- flipping a hand up and down at the wrist, or extending a foot downward and then raising it up at the ankle, etc., etc. adiadochokinesia also includes the idea that those movements cannot be made rapidly. in other words, adiadochokinesia equals can't make movements that alternate and/or can't make fast movements even if they can alternate.
bradykinesia concerns speed only, or, rather, lack of speed. any movements, no matter what they look like or are supposed to look like, are slow. this includes alternating movements, straight-line movements, curled-up movements, whatever. the correct concept, then, is that adiadochokinesia can always be considered a kind of bradykinesia, but not the other way around. exactly what you said! i feel like such a dope!
if you're still having trouble deciphering what i'm trying to say, would you be willing to re-post your inquiry, with dr. stacy's name in the title, such as "dr. stacy, vitamin B-12 deficiency mimics parkinson's?" that way it will be more likely to catch his attention and i can slink off into the darkness unnoticed, trailing apologies and mortification in my wake.
i hate that i got this wrong and hope that you won't hold it against webMD, because i am not a staff person, i'm just a volunteer who responds to a lot of the community Qs. if you are annoyed, which you have every right to be, i am the proper target, not webMD.
moral of the story, for me, anyway -- no more staying up late and trying to think at the same time.
-- susie margaret
PS -- adiadochokinesia = inability for rapid movement, therefore movement is slow. bradykinesia = movement is slow. the same or different? you make the call!View Thread
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
yes, postural tremor (see PS1) and numbness can be caused by a vitamin B-12 deficiency. furthermore, parkinson's disease is usually characterized by a resting tremor, not a postural one. however, both postural and resting tremors, and numbness, can be caused by many things other than a vitamin B-12 deficiency or parkinson's disease.
adiadochokinesia is the inability to make rapidly alternating muscular movements of the arm or leg, such as bending and straightening a hand. bradykinesia is an abnormal slowness of movement. i am not a medical person (PS2), but it seems to me that these are opposites.
-- susie margaret
PS1 -- a postural tremor is one that occurs when a person is holding an arm or leg "against gravity," such as stretched out in front of him/her.
PS2 -- i welcome, solicit, and indeed beg for correction, amendment, or replacement of inaccuracies in this post.View Thread
what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
i had diagnosed myself with parkinson's before i went to my dr because of my smaller and smaller handwriting plus tremor, so i wasn't surprised when she agreed and sent me to a neurologist.
when the neurologist agreed, i was terrified. however, she emphasized to me that people with parkinson's can live a long time and that there were meds to treat (but not cure) it. this helped.
then i began finding every parkinson's-related website i could, and i read and read and read. i suggest that perhaps you could give the newly diagnosed a list of the parkinson's-related websites you know of and find credible; in the alternative, you could encourage the newly diagnosed to look for those websites. in addition to the education/organization websites, forum-type websites (like this one) are tremendously useful and can be found by googling (forum parkinson's).
i hope these ideas are what you were looking for. and by the way, thank you again for your support of this community; i know you have many responsibilities. believe me, you are appreciated!
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