Hello Ladies. I know what you mean about the loneliness of being an older mom-to-be. I am 39 now and will be 40 when I deliver my #4!! This one was a big surprise for us. Most of the other women in the doctor's office could be my kids! Sometimes, I don't know if I will have the energy for 4 kids at my age. I don't think I will go through invasive procedures -- I will love this little bean no matter what happends...but I worry.View Thread
Hi everyone, I don't normally post but I'm so upset that I needed to vent to a group that would understand. I'm 37 and 8 weeks along. I work in a company where all the managers, except me, are men. Lately there has been a lot of push to work hard and so I've been a bit worried about telling them I'm pregnant. To make things worse, today, my direct boss was verbally abusive to me and when I called him on it and brought it to his boss's attention -- they both told me I was being too sensitive. So imagine how they'll react if I tell them I'm pregnant on top of everything else. Normally, I'm not a shrinking violet and I stand up for my rights -- but this has really depressed me today. I'm not sure if its just because of my hormones or if I really am being too sensitive or what. When I say this guy was verbally abusive, I mean, he raised is voice and yelled at me and accused me of not giving him enough respect. Then he questioned my professionalism. When I tried to defend myself on some technical issues, he said I was being snarky. He was visibly shaking with anger -- and that's when I decided to leave and he followed me two steps behind the whole way -- right to our main boss's office. How can I sit down and tell this guy that I'm pregnant and ask for maternity leave? I'm just so tired of this guy -- its not the first time we've had a heated "discussion" but I usually hold my own. Now I feel like I've been run over by a truck. This guy is a bully and others have had problems with him too but are too scared to say anything. Now I have to beg him for maternity leave in a few months. What should I do? Advice? Am I being too sensitive? Should I just pretend nothing happened?
Thanks everyone. Your advice gave the extra push to go see my "one level up" boss and I explained the whole conversation. His response was "well, that's just his personality and besides, he'll never admit that he was wrong." I work in a place where the "in your face" attitude and aggressive personality is rewarded...humanity and sensitivity is really not an asset in the corporate world sometimes.
However, that comment got me really mad and I went to talk to HR. I got all of the information about filing a harrassment complaint and told my HR rep what happened. She was sympathetic and was really surprized that he dared do this to me -- I guess he's known to be mean to his other male subordinates. I don't think I'm going to pursue this formally but at least there is a bit of a trail that I can use if he does this again. AND I've decided to wait to tell them I'm pregnant until I'm 4 months. I think I can hide it until then and I have a feeling if I tell my jerk immediate boss about it, he'll probably make some stupid remark....at least I can put that off for a while.
Incidentally, what is the typical amount of time that women normally wait to tell their boss that they are pregnant?View Thread