I used to be pretty active around here a few years ago. (On the TTC boards) My name then was "brookelovettc". (I couldn't remember the password) It looks like there are still a few familiar faces here!
(poss trigs in this paragraph) Here's my (bitter)sweet & short history: DH and I had been TTC for 2 years on our own before going to the dr. We then started all the testing, etc. Found out that we had MFIF and I had cysts all over my ovaries, a retroverted uterus, and "diminished ovarian reserve". We went right for IVF with max amount of meds possible. It was a crazy experience that I can't really sum up in just a few words. They retrieved 4 eggs, and 3 were fertilized with all 3 transferred back. We did get a positive test, but had low HCG levels and it didn't end the way we wanted.
A few months after attempting IVF I had another ultrasound to check on the cysts on my ovaries (which were thought to be endometriomas). This dr did a fancy 3D ultrasound and thought maybe one of the cysts was a dermoid cysts so they sent me off for an MRI. After the MRI they agreed that maybe it was a dermoid, so they did a CA-125 test which had high results (scary!).
I had surgery in Jan '12 - which determined that the cysts were all just endometriomas, (no dermoid) and my abdomen was wrecked with endometrosis. Shortly after surgery I started a year on Lupron (despite all the negative/horrid/deathly reviews) and it was a glorious, pain-free year with no real side effects. I recently ended that year on Lupron and now I'm on all natural supplements that seem to be helping me regulate my insane hormones.
On to the good news...
DH and I had decided that we didn't want to try IVF again. It was a traumatic experience, and just too risky for us. We started thinking about adoption but had mixed feelings. Where should we adopt from? What if it takes forever? What if no one picks us? Where will we get the money? We took a deep breath and decided to just go with the flow. See what happens. Focus on us. We got new bicycles. We went on a few trips around the world. Started fantasizing about our dream house. Big kitchen, tire swing, garden in the back yard...
Of course when we were least expecting it someone who is very close to me asked us a huge question. They found out they are pregnant, and know this is the wrong time for them and feel they cannot give the best to this child right now. They asked us if we would consider adopting. Of course it is no question on our part. Not because we want a baby, but because I already love this person dearly and therefore I know I will love this baby and want only the best. We are now in the process of talking with a lawyer and it's still very early but we're all very excited about this. Of course we feel guarded, and scared because there are so many factors out of our control. But I also feel a lot of peace about it. No panic.
So I'm here looking for support. This is a different kind of situation and I wonder if there are any others who have gone through this? Or are also going through something like this? I guess I am worried about judgement. There seems to be a lot of controversy surrounding adoption. So I hope there are others out there who can offer some words of wisdom. Also I know that *I* am not the one who is pregnant, but I feel like this community is a good one for support since y'all know about the IF stuff.
I have very vivid memories of sitting in the IF hallway, waiting for our appointment where we seemed to receive bad news with each visit. Just down the hall was where all the pregnant mommies had their ultrasounds. They would turn the sound up so loud to hear the heartbeat that I could hear it all the way down to where I was sitting. It made me so sad. I'm so happy to have the opportunity to finally listen to my own babies heartbeat.
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