We are all familiar with the marriage "prenup. As a mom and RN, with an expertise in the birth/baby family arena, I think it may be time to introduce the concept of a "Pre- Baby Nuptial."
Conceiving and then delivering a baby with someone you love will enhance your lives — without question! No one stops to consider the tough times, the stress and strain this little bundle of joy WILL put on your relationship. Your lives as you knew them are OVER. Again, lots of amazement comes with raising a mini-you, and lots of stress too. Emotionally, physically and financially it can be harrowing to raise children — particularly if you have been wearing rose colored glasses without stopping to seriously consider how children change EVERYTHING.
So, I am putting this out for discussion: what do you think about having a legal document that states the needs, desires, expectations before the baby arrives (and inhales you whole!)
1. Will the Baby Be OK? 2. Will I Be a Good Mother? 3. Will Everything "Down There" Shrink Back to Normal? 4. Will I Get Ugly and Fat? 5. Will It Hurt More Than A Bikini Wax? Less Than a Broken Leg? 6. How Badly Will It Hurt to Deliver the Baby? 7. Will I POOP On the Delivery Table? 8. Will My Mate Ever Really Understand What I am Going Through? 9. Will I Feel This Sick and Tired for the Entire Nine (Ten) Months? 10. Will My Breasts Stay This Big Forever? (Please, God!)
By Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy
It is certainly worth the conversation with your MD; although, it may be considered medically indicated to follow-up with another cesarean. Remember that the uterus is a muscle- it does weaken with each incision - uterine contractions during labor may be seen as too risky.
Follow your instincts- if something seems off - follow up! Be polite and persistent - see if the MD office has a nurse practitioner - they often have more time to problem solve. MD's are skillful at diagnosing and treating.
As a Labor and Delivery nurse for over 20 years, and the mom of two, I can say without hesitation: DELIVER IN THE HOSPITAL! The key is communicate in advance with your OB?Midwife and then continue the conversation with your nurses...we have the same goals you do: healthy mom and healthy babies. All we are looking for is reasonable expectations - work with the healthcare team- they are ready to guide you towards the birth you want.
Oprah recently interviewed a blind man who has scaled some of the tallest peaks in the world. She asked him what the key to his success was, he responded with: Putting fear aside and letting go of failure. He went on to say that he trusted his guides, accepted support, and surrounded himself with people who believed he could do it.
You see the analogy, right? He could not control the peaks or the weather or potential injuryâ€¦he had a goal and he went for it; just like labor.
The idea of having to be in labor alone is daunting, scary and feels impossible. Set your labor up for success: a medical team to guide you, and someone who will love you unconditionally and reassure you every step of the way. This is how to achieve your goal of getting a healthy baby into your arms and look back on the experience with a sense of triumph!
The ladies of The View, morning talk show, featured a video clip of men experiencing the pain of childbirth via electrical stimulation; it's about time! With the peak of each contraction, the men writhed and screeched in pain; only one of the two "men in labor' was able to endure their TWO HOUR labor. Watch this intense overdue view of men experiencing labor pain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVUZzgswJaY
This underscores how men have absolutely NO idea about the deep physical response the body has to uterine contractions OR the need for unconditional support as women endure the labor process.
Forceps conjure up scary visions in expectant parents' minds! The truth is that this type of instrumentation is used judiciously, most often when the baby needs to be born quickly due to changes in the heart rate.
I had a couple in class last night, who wanted to know if they could "refuse" forceps during their delivery, due to a traumatic situation that occurred a number of years ago with a relative. The fact is that we will never know if the forceps used in their relative's delivery was the cause for trauma- or if they were actually the appropriate assistance required in the situation.
I encouraged them and all expectant parents to discuss this kind of 'skeleton in the closet' that creates prenatal angst, with your OB/Gyn or Midwife. When they know the basis for concern, they can often provide reassurance and/or further information about instrumentation sometimes used to assist in a birth.
Expectant parents are terrified to discuss Sudden Infant Death Syndrome- because we don't know what causes it. What we do have are preventatives, which all new family households need to follow.
The National Institute of Health (NIH) recently presented the: "Safe to Sleep" Campaign, highlighting the preventative approach to SIDS. In addition to stressing the 'back to sleep' position for infants, Safe to Sleep, emphasizes the following: -Not sleeping in an adult bed -No blankets in the bed -Do not overheat -No exposure to tobacco
***Bonus: Breast milk has been shown to reduce SIDS by 60%!
For more information on reducing the risk of SIDS: www.nich.nih.gov/sids
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