We all either have a mother, are going to become a mother or are already a mom.
To those that gave birth to us, we give thanks. For the mothers — in — the — making, congratulations! For the current moms- good job and hang in there! The truth is that being a mom is possibly THE hardest job in the world — exhausting, depleting, and draining. Luckily, on most days, that second wind or cute moment occurs to give us the stamina to carry on. I've heard motherhood described as juggling fragile, extremely valuable balls in the air- we can't let ANY of them go splat on the ground — and those would be our children.
The most common theme and desire among moms: " appreciate me" and " let me sleep in." One mom even said that while she loved her family — the greatest gift to receive was a day OFF! She asked that her husband take the kids (without her) for eight hours and bring back her favorite Chinese take — out!
I had a long conversation with a recent graduate of McMoyler Method, who is now on bed rest, trying to eek out two more weeks before she delivers her first baby. While it is true that science and technology can provide an amazing " womb with a view" in the Intensive Care Nursery, nothing can completely replace the uterine environment for fetal development.
The March of Dimes recent campaign; 'Think 39 weeks!' encourages waiting to deliver babies; positively affecting babies overall health (including dropping the infant mortality rate by 12%)
When you think about it, we humans make noise in response to painâ€¦the last time you were hanging pictures in your living room, and accidentally hit your thumb with the hammer, did you respond with a breathy "he-he-hoo-hoo?" I don't think so. You uttered a few choice words, and made a loud "aghhhhh!" sound. Which is exactly why McMoyler Method recommends moaning in response to labor pain; patterning what we do in response to other kinds of pain in our lives.
Does moaning take the pain away? No. It does, however, give the brain something to do in response to the pain. Left with no clue how to respond, women will often end up screaming, which can trigger the Fear/Tension/Pain response: she becomes fearful of the pain, which increases the tension in her body which increases the perception of her pain. Allowed to continue on this cycle, she is likely to whirl into something that looks like panic. Panic looks and feels like out of control-which is often an expectant woman's biggest concern.
Think MOANING when it comes to coping with contractions!
We are all familiar with the marriage "prenup. As a mom and RN, with an expertise in the birth/baby family arena, I think it may be time to introduce the concept of a "Pre- Baby Nuptial."
Conceiving and then delivering a baby with someone you love will enhance your lives — without question! No one stops to consider the tough times, the stress and strain this little bundle of joy WILL put on your relationship. Your lives as you knew them are OVER. Again, lots of amazement comes with raising a mini-you, and lots of stress too. Emotionally, physically and financially it can be harrowing to raise children — particularly if you have been wearing rose colored glasses without stopping to seriously consider how children change EVERYTHING.
So, I am putting this out for discussion: what do you think about having a legal document that states the needs, desires, expectations before the baby arrives (and inhales you whole!)
1. Will the Baby Be OK? 2. Will I Be a Good Mother? 3. Will Everything "Down There" Shrink Back to Normal? 4. Will I Get Ugly and Fat? 5. Will It Hurt More Than A Bikini Wax? Less Than a Broken Leg? 6. How Badly Will It Hurt to Deliver the Baby? 7. Will I POOP On the Delivery Table? 8. Will My Mate Ever Really Understand What I am Going Through? 9. Will I Feel This Sick and Tired for the Entire Nine (Ten) Months? 10. Will My Breasts Stay This Big Forever? (Please, God!)
By Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy
It is certainly worth the conversation with your MD; although, it may be considered medically indicated to follow-up with another cesarean. Remember that the uterus is a muscle- it does weaken with each incision - uterine contractions during labor may be seen as too risky.
Follow your instincts- if something seems off - follow up! Be polite and persistent - see if the MD office has a nurse practitioner - they often have more time to problem solve. MD's are skillful at diagnosing and treating.
As a Labor and Delivery nurse for over 20 years, and the mom of two, I can say without hesitation: DELIVER IN THE HOSPITAL! The key is communicate in advance with your OB?Midwife and then continue the conversation with your nurses...we have the same goals you do: healthy mom and healthy babies. All we are looking for is reasonable expectations - work with the healthcare team- they are ready to guide you towards the birth you want.
Oprah recently interviewed a blind man who has scaled some of the tallest peaks in the world. She asked him what the key to his success was, he responded with: Putting fear aside and letting go of failure. He went on to say that he trusted his guides, accepted support, and surrounded himself with people who believed he could do it.
You see the analogy, right? He could not control the peaks or the weather or potential injuryâ€¦he had a goal and he went for it; just like labor.
The idea of having to be in labor alone is daunting, scary and feels impossible. Set your labor up for success: a medical team to guide you, and someone who will love you unconditionally and reassure you every step of the way. This is how to achieve your goal of getting a healthy baby into your arms and look back on the experience with a sense of triumph!
The ladies of The View, morning talk show, featured a video clip of men experiencing the pain of childbirth via electrical stimulation; it's about time! With the peak of each contraction, the men writhed and screeched in pain; only one of the two "men in labor' was able to endure their TWO HOUR labor. Watch this intense overdue view of men experiencing labor pain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVUZzgswJaY
This underscores how men have absolutely NO idea about the deep physical response the body has to uterine contractions OR the need for unconditional support as women endure the labor process.