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My situation is slightly different than yours but the outcome is basically the same. I am not married to my partner so it is very easy for him to dismiss me. But like you I was there for the pre op, for the surgery, for the physical recovery, to try all the things they have to renew your sex life. We were very sexual, more than anyone I know, so this was an attack on his manhood, he thought.
I assured him through it all that I would be there for him. The difference is he was able to runaway, mentally and physically. It has been over two months and with the exception of a few texts he has not communicated with me.
It took four months for him to distance himself. He was doing fine it seemed, and we were doing fine. Now I feel like I am in a tornado, like the earth has been pulled out from under me. I can't reach him. I have gone from such concern, to anger, to hate, to hurt, to concern and back again a million times. I am helpless or so it feels that way anyway. I don't know if they can ever fully come back...View Thread

I wish we had a serious fight or something, anything to explain his absence, but our last night together was beautiful. It makes no sense.
I swear, as each day goes by I am losing more of my mind. He is still dealing with issues from being in Kuwait and has not been able to find a job since he came back a year ago.
I guess I will just have to believe in the last two lines of your response. Thank you.View Thread

These guys aren't saying 'poor me', they are dealing with lots of emotional and identity stuff. Seriously, I don't even know why you checked in with this website.View Thread

When I find him, what would ease the inner turmoil he is going through? I want to take his pain away. We have always been there for each other, even through the surgery. What can I do?View Thread

But he didn't believe me and yesterday he told me he couldn't be with me anymore.View Thread


Funny, that's exactly what he always said...'the desire is there...'View Thread

Over the past year he has mentioned how I am a woman who should be able to have a healthy sex life. Even after the surgery I thought we did, apparently it wasn't enough.View Thread

He thought the only answer was to push me away so I could continue a 'regular' sex life. He didn't believe he was more than that to me and no matter what I did or said it wasn't good enough. I swear, I will never be able to feel again.View Thread

So one day he said how much he wanted me and literally the next day decided he couldn't be my lover anymore. I know he has felt as if he was less than a man for quite a while, he even offered to let me sleep with other men and still take care of me. But what he didn't and doesn't understand is my sex drive was with him, not others. i would have rather have had him without sex than not have him. I've assured him of that since before the operation. Still, his answer was to let me go.
Guys, what's up with that???
Is there anything i can do to let him know it's him that matters most not just the sex? We had been together for almost 10 years and then poof.View Thread
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