Hello, you have come to the right conclusion, what I have seen of your following posts. I have been w. my husband for 37 yrs and we go back 41, friends for life. I would not leave him under any circumstance, even if we were younger, but the problems do exists. We did not speak about them for five years after his surgery. There is so much I could write too much.. but his way is to ignore it and he is lucky in that, sex never was the number one thing for him. I would do it every day if I could, so this has affected me more. He has always dealt with things by shoving them away. I am not like that.. I cry daily.. I do my best to try to heal him up.. what he never knew was how upset I was w. him prior to his illness TEN YRS AGO -- about sex, or lack of sex.. NOW that he has been made into a eunuch, and my libido came back (News, women libido increase after menopause) and the total lack of concern not only by the doctors but my own psychaitirst, 'can't you just do this and that" NO THAT IS NOT the same..
so if you have sexual problems, clear them up before surgery. We could not believe what happened.. and he was just 47 when he first got sick, just turned 52 when he got his surgery.. He started to get sick 10 yrs ago. We did not even try to remedy anything until four months ago, after 5 yrs - the emotional component had to be dealt with first, and then I let it all out, the things I held in for 15 yrs or whatever, he had NO IDEA.. it has been awful, but we are going to be fine...
as for mastectomy, I did think about that.. for 20 seconds. A woman can have her breast reconstructed. There is NO recourse for a man who cannot get an erection, none. If I didn't love him so much I'd be gone, but he turns me on all the time, even after 40 yrs... but i crave the full sexual act, - I am nearly 60 now, have not had true sex 10 yrs, can't even remember.. Intellectually I know many things, but I can't change what my inner heart feels.
I willing to bet money that my husband did not even have cancer. i don't want to sue anyone, no no -- but it wouldn't do me a lick of good to find out now. someone came down to take his prostrate to cut it up and we never got the results.
and one more thing. Perusing Adam and Eve for a penis, I found that they have a kit to make a dildo -- I broke down crying again. I would have made TWO of him had I known the TRUTH the goddamn doctors did sugar coat the thing, we would have been far better off to expect less and then be happy with any signs of life in his penis.View Thread