Thanks for getting back to us about this. It's nice to hear when things go well, as well as when there are struggles. Hopefully, things will continue to go well, or you will feel self-assured enough to step in again when you are unhappy with what's going on.View Thread
It can also help to know that others can help you find a way to express yourself. You might say to your therapist that you want to tell him how you feel, but don't know how or what to say. Or, you can just try and then say if you are confused or don't know how to continue. If you work with him, I'm guessing that he will work with you to help you express yourself. This is what I hope you are also finding here. That is: You express yourself. We respond, sometimes asking questions or clarifying something. Then you respond, sharing more. Then we respond and so one. Sometime you or we might misunderstand, but we gently correct each other and we help each other get our messages across. It's okay for this to take time. This is what conversation and connecting with people is all about.View Thread
When you say that you get more cautious, I wonder what you mean. For instance, do you mean you are no longer blindly trusting, unwilling to take chance, or something else? I also wonder in what ways being more cautious might be better and in what ways it might be problematic.View Thread
I'm glad to hear you are getting out there. This is not an easy process, but I hope you stick with it because it provides a chance for you to develop friendships and find enjoyable activities.
You might consider looking into an adult classes or classes offered by stores or the local library (which might also have a reading group, if you are interested). For instance, you might try cooking, home improvement, or craft classes. The advantage of doing this is that you have the chance to get to know people over a few classes when they are multiple session classes; or because many of the same people go to the classes offered by a particular place. One place online where people sometimes find activities is meet up.com.
Hopefully others will have other suggestions for you.View Thread
Because all people make mistakes, being able to forgive is an essential skill in maintaining a long-term relationship. However, forgiving is often difficult to do when we feel hurt or angry.
One way to forgive is to gain an understanding of and compassion for both your perspective and your partner's perspective. It is doable but takes practice.
What have your experiences been in moving through situations when you have felt hurt or wronged by someone else?
If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog,click here .
Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
It sounds like you are "being you" here, at least to some extent. I hope you find the responses supportive and helpful. And, as long as you feel supported here, I encourage you to continue reaching out. When you struggle in your relationships either here or anywhere in your life, I hope that you find a way to talk through the problems and that talk with your therapist about them.View Thread
I am saddened by the emotional pain you feel. I wonder how you cope with it? And in what ways do you try to soothe and comfort yourself? I also wonder about the good feelings in your ups and downs. Can you tell us more about them?View Thread
It sounds like you feel you are really making progress. So, keep digging and pausing to explore each new nugget you come upon. And, of course, feeling free to discuss them here -- it is what we're here for!View Thread
I only have one other thought to add to the above responses. You titled this "Should I be mad continued..." It's important that you know that this isn't about whether you "should" or "should not" be mad. Feelings are not right or wrong; they just are. So, you are mad. The question is really how best to deal with that. You know what holding it in is doing to you, and now you might want to consider an alternative, like what sluggo and dennis are suggesting. I wish you well with this and also invite you to "talk" it out further here, as necessary.View Thread