Since you titled this "Is that my Best Friend's hubby" then my answer is absolutely. I would approach them, introduce myself, and if need be flat out bust him out. No hesitation.
I wouldn't do that for just anyone though.
Anon_99, how close are you to this friend? Do they suspect anything? Why not say "Hey, I heard such n such through gossip and it worried me, what do you think?". What is holding you back? Is it the chance that the info is wrong?View Thread
Onesmartperson, I can appreciate the bond that you and anon are forming on here. You can create a "fake" email and post it so that you two can begin conversing outside of this site.
HOWEVER, I really want to say that even though her husband and your ex have so much in common DOESN'T mean they are one in the same.
You keep saying that her husband is not capable of being a different man and that's not fair. No one knows that but them. If it were to come down to losing his wife/family he may truly surprise her. It shouldn't have to come down to that and hopefully it won't.
Anon, talk to your husband. Tell him you're not alright with living this way for the rest of your life. Ask him to attend couples counseling. Be honest. Get the conversation flowing. Sometimes brutal honesty is necessary.
I wish you luck and strongly suggest you at the least back away from the other man.View Thread
I've been reading this thread and finally want to say my peace about it so here it goes...
Yes, trust is a vital part of a relationship. But another vital part is RESPECT. This woman does not respect you or your relationship. I don't think you should be with her. I think you are wasting your time with her. Honestly, that would've been my reply to your initial post but I saw others were going another route with you so I thought I'd shut my mouth. I prefer not to be a downer.
Personally from my p.o.v there are many lines crossed. I would tell any friend in your situation to get out because no one deserves to be treated this way. But this is all my opinion. Remember -- you teach people how to treat you.
All I can think is 'she must be hot' that you would tolerate to be her man yet at the bottom of her list. There is a good woman out there that will make you a priority in her life, I'm sure of it. Go find her.View Thread
Very good to hear! I pray Joe has much more time on this earth. Each day is a gift.
My bff's mother was one of those that would shut her oxygen tank off to smoke a cigarette. I personally have been 3 1/2 years smoke free and I feel great. It can be done.
I thought of you today. I live out in the country and I went for a walk today. It was a very peaceful walk (and really needed as I had a bad morning). Anyway, I looked up and saw a dove on the powerline and it reminded me that I have symbols here that connect me to my loved ones passed.
After my grandmother passed I had a dove show up on my front porch for a few days. My belief was that it was her spirit. When my children's father passed a dove showed up on the porch of his house and my son's best friend touched it. For years now when I see a dove it reminds me of my grandma and when I see a red tail hawk it reminds me of their father. Not just reminds me, but I take a moment and feel their presence and say hello and know they are watching over me.
Like I said, it made me think of you, and I wanted to share that with you. I suppose it all has to do with perception and faith. I believe Joe will never completely leave you.
Please don't get your hopes up too much. Dying people can have good days. I really didn't want to say that and you probably already know it. Just keep reality in perspective so that you don't suffer even more. Joe will be in my prayers. Take care.View Thread
Did you talk to him about your feelings?Dennis, this is as much about you as it is about him. I have a friendship like yours and I absolutely believe you need to express your feelings. Your level of acceptance will probably never be what his is because you have to stay on this earth while he leaves, but you do need some level of acceptance. It's ok to feel selfish. Selfishness isn't always a bad thing. It is important to be worried about you.
I think when the time comes you will find solace in his feelings of acceptance and what he feels lies ahead.
When the time comes may I suggest you pick a star in the sky to look to and identify Joe with? This way you will have something physical to look to and a way to talk with him. Maybe seems silly but it works for some people.
After re-reading I see you do have a level of acceptance. It is the after that you fear. Honestly I have the same fear about my friend as she continues to smoke after watching her own mother die a very slow miserable death from emphysema. She was only 54. I believe it's the same path my bf is on and it angers me that she's.......grrrr. Nevermind, I just relate because sometimes I do think of those days ahead so your post hits home for me even if in the future.
take care, I hope you have a nice visit today.View Thread
Whoa, that's what happened?? I've wondered about you but I haven't asked because you were so unwavering about your situation and I could tell it was very tough for you. I'm very sorry this is what happened. I hope you feel comfortable to move forward in your life now and live for YOU and your happiness. Take care.
As for the OP, I don't care to connect with people from my past. I've kept in contact with people I care about. I've looked at people's pages to see where/what they're doing, but there's no reason for them to be a part of my life now. My fb is more intimate (family and closer friends). I don't need Joe Blow from high school knowing what I'm doing today or looking at my vacation pictures. And definitely no ex's!View Thread
Hi Dennis, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling either.
I would like you to consider that Joe is feeling a lot of the same things as you are. He probably doesn't know what to do, what to say, how to act. He's likely putting on a straight face to be strong for all around him, including you.
You should have a talk. Throw it all out there. Cry your eyes out! You don't have to have an on-going sappy conversation. But I do think you need to have that conversation. Your friend is going to die. You say anything and everything you possibly want or need to right now! He loves you too. I bet he will be thankful for you breaking down that wall, that uncomfortable wall. He needs to cry too.
You only have one chance. That saying will never be as true as it is right now.
Good luck to you. And you know we're here to help you too even if sometimes it takes a couple days.View Thread
How is it alright for her to be living with you and sleeping in the same bed as you? I've never understood this picking and choosing of what sins one is willing to do and not. I mean if she's going to be 'all in' then why isn't she all in?
Do you share her religious views? Go to church with her? Are you supportive? Not supportive in the sense of "I'm not against it" but actively supportive?
Do you think she is easily influenced in her life? It sounds like it's possible that she tends to do what others around her tell her she should do?? Do you want to marry her?View Thread