Hi there! I'm concerned about something. You say you were interested in dating someone, and you were just getting comfortable over the phone, but you were already talking children? If he was the one who brought that up, I'd be very, very concerned.
Honestly, if I were in your shoes I'd consider legal action and a restraining order. I hope you never met face to face. I agree with the others regarding HR. My concern is that this is really stalkerish behavior and in these times anybody who has a grudge can make false accusations and they'll be believed. So whatever you do, watch out for yourself.
I wish I had advice that was more certain that I could give. If in an ideal world, my advice should work, then the correlary is that my advice probably won't work because this world is far from ideal. I hope you have good luck in finding your answer.View Thread
I'm not going to judge someone with a record out of hand because our legal system is seriously flawed and people are punished out of all proportion to what they did. There are also a lot of innocent people who have been thoroughly mistreated as well. So you have my sympathy, not my judgement.
I will be happy to talk to you here, however I can't get to email during the majority of my day. Sorry about that!
I think there are still a few good people out there in the world. It can kind of hard to be that way at times, with all the social pressure and dog eat dog environement we often live in. However, good tends to attract good. I really wish you the best in getting back on track once you are out. Being positive will help you there, but that's true in anything.View Thread
I was talking to my dear spouse yesterday and we came up with this question. I really want to hear from Dr. Leslie about it but will be happy for responses from anyone.
My question is this: Why are our minds so resistant to healing? It's like the mind holds on to old, bad patterns, as well as mental illness. I've personally had the experience where I gain an insight about why I do something unhealthy, and start changing my behavior, and then I feel a lot of resistance in myself as if my unhealthy mental patterns are defending themselves.
If a person realizes that there is a better, healthier way to do things, who does it benefit when the old patterns seemingly struggle to stay in place. A good way to conceptualize it for me is that the mental issue is like a monster that hits back when you try to throw it off.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about here? Does anyone know why this happens?View Thread
Though the popular wisdom is that you cannot or should not chane anyone, that isn't always true. You can offer to help, or suggest ways to improve, if you really care about a person.
Keep in mind that sometimes it can be a great act of love to give someone a reality check. He isn't going to have a satisfying relationship, EVER, if he continues what he is doing. At the same time if he stays in his safe zone he's deluding himself into thinking he's going to make progress -- someday.
You can tell him that it's decision time. You show respect for yourself AND FOR HIM if you do that. Gently, but firmly, tell him that he's not going to find happiness having a fantasy relationship. You're willing to help, but he can't just pretend anymore. He deserves the happiness and fulfillment of a real relationship. But you need to see visible progress (not an instant fix) to be able to stay around.
I know it's hard. But I wish both of you the best.View Thread
Well, it sure has me scratching my head! I hope you find out how it's possible so you can stop it in some way. Have you tried wearing rubber soled shoes as an insulator? I know most of them are plastic these days so that's harder. Hang in there!View Thread
Sorry you are going through that! I remember you talking about your nasty neighbors. One thing that concerns me is, it would be next to impossible to shock someone in the way you are describing.
For one thing, electricity doesn't travel well through floorboards and it doesn't usually travel at all through wood unless it is soaking wet. Also, the only real way to shock someone is by using a taser (that needs to be in contact or shoots wire leads into you) or by hitting you with a live wire. You can't shock someone from a distance because the electricity has to have something to travel through. That's why people keep talking about hallucinations, because it's the most l ikely explanation.
So if you are getting shocked, either it's something neurological or there is something really wrong with the wiring in your place. If other people are experiencing this, then I would say it's the wiring - but with the way electricity travels, it would have to be something really odd going on. I hope you find an explanation and a solution.View Thread
Thanks for that additional idea, Deb! It's something I'll think about doing. I was also thinking about (eventually) donating a couple of copies to my library, if only to get them on the shelves and being read by people. What I really want to get the word out about is that you can get copies for free if you have a Kindle subscription - I get paid if people download those, too.View Thread
I'm so sorry you are going through this, Gammini. I agree with Dennis that the payments should stop. I agree that a letter would be a good idea. Depending on what they will respond to, you may want to stay simple and direct with it rather than giving in to an impulse to be passive aggressive. Be the adult, show them what being an adult means.
But whatever you do, please let them know just how much they've hurt you and WHY. Don't focus on the issue of money, but more about how much you love them and want to be more involved. Ask them what you have done to harm them, and what you can do to make it right if you have wronged them. Keep the moral high ground.
I hope this works for you, I wish you the best. I know this is a really painful situation.View Thread