Hi there, Candybars. Something that has helped me, and I continue to try to work on, is improving the relationship with myself. I can be my own worst enemy at times. Maybe thinking about how you treat yourself, and working on improving that, might help you in some way. Cheers!View Thread
I'm really glad your shadow was just that, a shadow. I want to see you around here longer. You've got a rat to take care of, after all! Stopping smoking is a great and wonderful thing. My spouse finally quit after over twenty years of doing it, and she's still off it too.
I hear you about your best buddy Joe. It's so hard to let go. But you told him you loved him, and that's important. Did you know that when someone is dying, the last sense to go is hearing? So I'm sure he heard you.View Thread
I love them but haven't had any for a while. My first rat was a big white boy with a tan hood. He was calm and mellow, like most male rats. In college I had a couple of rats but had to give them up, one of them was brown with curly fur. After that I had a black hooded girl. She was more active, the way females usually are, and after that I had cats so no more rats. Rats are a lot of fun, but cage cleaning gets old! I had problems with mine chewing paper- not good for an artist and book collector as I was at the time. But I still love rats and think they are really cute.View Thread
I'm with you, Bro Dennis. I'll be thinking of you and sending all my good wishes to you every day. Besides, I'm a fellow fan of rats! That means we have to be siblings! I'm sorry you are going to have to go through that, and I wish you a fast, easy recovery.View Thread
My gut reaction is to say to not only give him an eviction notice, but also a restraining order. If he says things like "I'll never let you go" that can be a real danger sign. If he's a controlling individual then this could be very bad for you vary quick.
Don't feel bad about confiding in people in general. Just use this as an opportunity to hone your instincts about people. You werne't wrong for opening up, he was wrong for taking advantage of that.View Thread
Good point, as always, Dr. Leslie. My grandmother did make the choice, she is undoubtedly regretting it, and she's getting to the point where she's no longer really fully competent to make her own decisions. So I'll keep on sending my cheerful letters, and one way or the other it'll be over soon. It's my mother's choice to continue being passive aggressive rather than assertive, and my mother's choice to not learn how to do better. It's not my job to fix either situation, but rather my job to become a whole person, one way or the other.View Thread
It's okay, Bro Dennis, this was meant for anyone who wanted to respond. I really appreciate your support. It means a lot! And you are absolutely right about how people need to treat their elders. I work with a lot of them and I almost always try to go the extra mile and give them that extra bit of understanding and respect.View Thread
It can be a fun tradition. This year, I worked on my pen and ink skills at the same time. Every time I illustrate one of these I try to do a better job and this time I feel like I did well.
As for the spouse, things are still rocky and it's still me doing most of it. It seems like I intend to do better and not cause a problem, and my intention to do better just goes by the wayside. The harder I try to watch what I am doing, the messier it gets. Then I get so upset when we fight that my back is against the wall and I forget that she's not an enemy, let alone a spouse or even a friend. I think that comes back to how I was raised, with somewhat black and white thinking. The next step that I'm working on is just being aware of every time I make a choice, so I can choose better thought patterns and actions.View Thread
That's a thought. I think my mom doesn't want to deal with the animosity and inevitable family drama. Part of the problem is, my grandma chose to live with all her daughters before she'd consent to live with my mom as well, even though my mom's more well suited for it, because my gradma doesn't want to go live on a small farm with a bunch of animals running around. So the situation is complicated. But at least my mom would make sure she had a safe environment and wasn't left alone all the time.
On top of the family drama, everybody is passive aggressive and nobody can say anything straight out. Everybody's got to hint around and nobody can openly discuss the problem. And I'm trying to escape from that morass and overcome that early training. So ultimately, even though my mom might be able to possibly fix the situation, her own fears and limitations are probably going to prevent a solution. I'm still going to suggest reporting the aunt for elder abuse as a possibility. I think it would alienate my grandma though, and make her angry at my mome, so it may not be a viable option. At least, it would be in a sane world.