Sometimes this site just deletes stuff randomly, too. Sure, therapy might be hepful, but the OP already says they are doing that, and they are wanting advice that is seperate from that. I don't really see anything wrong with it. It's just concentrating effort. If they tell us what kind of advice they are looking for and what they already tried, then that should help us help them better.View Thread
Dennis is giving you good advice. One thing that you might be helped by is talking to current military families. I haven't gotten the latest military.com newsletter lately so I still don't have the link, I believe it comes automatically when you sign up for that site.
I mention that because in talking to members of the military, I keep hearing that today's military isn't the same as when Dennis was in for example. Yes, PTSD is a concern particularly if a soldier was in battle. However, issues can happen with how folks are trained and the ideas they are asked to accept. So talking to current military families would be best if you can get on a message board, or if someone else with experience can also chime in here. But it's a good start to listen to Dennis, he knows what he's talking about.View Thread
Sorry to hear you are still having trouble with that friend, especially after things seemed to be getting a little better.
I don't think you are expecting too much of your friends, you are just expecting what used to be customary. The world seems to have changed though, with everyone becoming more self centered. I was raised to belive I should be there for my friends, and I try to be, but I am still shocked and overjoyed when it is reciprocated.
Have you asked your friend flat out if she wants to be friends? Have you explained to her that regardless of her reasons, the behavior she is displaying is not that of a friend? Sometimes it's good to be gentle, but direct.
An_259155, we will not put up with people abusing our members. You have no right to say that to one of our most loyal members. It's a personal attack with no base. I have reported this as well to back up Michelle.View Thread
The Reserves might not be so bad. In peacetime they have Drill on some weekends and then they have two weeks out of the year that they do. They go through boot camp like everybody else, then they keep their civilian job and are around home more. Keep in mind though that right now this is not exactly peacetime, and we have an unstable government that isn't making the best decisions militarily. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to people who have been there and done that rather than just listening to the recruiter's speeches.View Thread
I can understand your trepidation. Today's military is not yesterday's military. People serving today go through things that people never dreamed of before. If you do stay with this man, he may change radically - not really due to any fault of his own, but in the course of his training and his duties. I hope these links help somewhat.View Thread
My advice is to search around for a bit, and look for their information for families of service members. When I get home tonight I'll try to provide some helpful links.
The information I usually see in the newsletters has to do with how to cope at home, helpful info about financial questions, sometimes opinion pieces, places to find support and help, and there's a column where people ask questions about military life and life with a service member. It's kind of varied really. I find though that the more you know about something, the less frightening it is.
As far as my flight instructor, her husband was an officer (a Captain I think) so she was often setting things up for the wives in his unit. Little social get togethers, dinners, that kind of thing. Your boyfriend will probably have a unit as soon as he gets out of boot camp, unless he has some kind of stateside position where he's working by himself, and that's not likely. Veteran's associations sometimes also help with families of service members.
Hey, Dennis, can you offer some insight on this?View Thread
I completely understand your feelings regarding this. One thing you can do is check out the online resources for family of armed forces. I believe you can sign up at army.mil, and if it isn't that, you will find results with a quick google search. I don't have close family in the military, but because of some research I did I still get a pretty nice newsletter that is full of informatin for military families. If you need me to, I can find the URL to sign up for that.
I've seen support groups, articles for families at home on how to cope, and plenty of good information available online. My flight instructor was an Army wife, and she was frequently organizing things for the other Army wives (and husbands) in her husband's unit.
If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, it will be helpful to him if you are supportive like this. The Army can be a way of life. On the other hand, you might make some great friends!View Thread
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Unfortunately, the only thing you can really do is take care of yourself. They are adults and have to make their own choices. Of course, their choices are very hurtful to you and that's not okay... at the same time, though, your son needs to understand the effect of his inaction. He does have the right to choose his wife over his mother, but it sounds like you ahven't done anything to deserve that treatment. Will he grow up and be a man and tell his wife that she should at least be civil? Time will tell. In the mean time, write your son a letter. Let him know how his behavior makes you feel and how it affects you. Tell him that he can do what he wills, but he does owe you an explanation as to what you did to deserve this treatment.
Good luck to you... I hope you find a good resolution.View Thread