Okay, fair enough, Uncle Dennis, I understand! If you did take it slow then I have no idea what those womens' problems were. I stand by my assessment of you though! You are a great guy. If those women couldn't deal with your wonderful, sweet, romantic ways, then there was something wrong with THEM. To be honest, I've had discomfort with romance at times too, mostly because I didn't feel worthy of it. And that was a problem with me, not my partner. I'm getting better about it though.View Thread
It sounds to me like they weren't ready for their romantic dreams to come true. With you actually doing the things so many women want, when they were perhaps used to men being self centered and not as romantic, perhaps they were afraid of too many expectations being placed on them. If a woman is being treated like a princess, and she is naturally a little suspicious, she might think "what is he going to want from me?" If a lady has poor self esteem she might not feel like she merits such good treatment.
I say don't change a thing. More women need to get used to being treated well! When you find a mature lady who is confident in herself, she will eat this up with a spoon! The only thing to change is, maybe go a little more casual in the beginning and then turn on the charm more as you get to know each other.
You are an awesome guy, Dennis, and I really hope you find an awesome gal to match you!View Thread
Dennis and FCL have given you some awesome advice. I just had one little thing to add. You said you can't give him anything in return but love. I think you might be devaluing love. Love is the most precious gift in the world. Also, you are the mother to his precious child. If you want to put a financial figure on it, check how much a full time nanny costs! You have value, both monetary and emotional.View Thread
I can totally understand... your chronic problems plus the baby probably feels like a doubletime job with extra overtime on top of that. It never stops. Meanwhile, he's working 12 hours a day and he probably feels terribly overworked as well, with you both left completely without reserves. If you hang on a little longer and have faith that things will get better, eventually things will... but I'm guessing that the pain and sheer stress of it all is your number one problem. Do you have any friends or family members who can give you a little respite care now and again? Sheer overwork will really sap your strength, especially if you have health problems.
First, I wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you. You are definitely not having an easy time of it. Congratulations on your beautiful baby!
I might suggest taking a break from worrying about standard intercourse for a while. Your body can't deal with it and it's only stressing you out. BUT!!! You still need loving touch and so does your husband. Loving touch helps reduce pain and causes your body to heal faster. Gentle massages, strokes across the body, hand holding, back rubs, kissing. The possibilities are endless.
Regarding sex, don't do anything that doesn't feel good. Forcnig yourself to do something will just cause resentment and more resistance. Even pleasing him with your hands will be a lot better for him than nothing at all - guys need intimacy and closeness too. Have him please you orally, avoiding the areas that give you pain. Intimacy can be a means to reduce your stress, a respite from the daily world. Hope you feel better soon. I know how much stress a chronic illness can put you under, particularly with a new baby.View Thread
Ha ha, you are so right! I like the messy house analogy. That's actually a great way to think about it. I'm noticing that it's a little easier to recover even after I've gotten angry, and realize what the problem was. Also, I'm finding that it's easier to admit that I've engaged in certain toxic behaviors, and recognize why.View Thread
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