Yep, you're both right, willow bark is where we get aspirin from. I don't know what the pain relieving chewable bark would be. It's kind of funny, but you can take willow bark, boild it, and the white sediment precipitates out is actually salycilic acid, the same stuff that's the active ingredient in aspirin. Many different modern medicatisn started out as herbs, plants, roots, minerals, and animal byproducts. Did you know that people used to take dried ground cow or pig thyroid before the thyroid hormone was ever isolated and synthesised? Pretty cool!
I loved the herb stuff in Clan of the Cave Bear, too.View Thread
I think it comes down to how self centered a person is, how good they are at keeping promises of any kind, and how easy or hard a time they have dealing with stress. And keeping promises can mean different things to different people. I'd never dream of cheating on my spouse sexually. But I might consider lying to her about something minor in order to "spare her worry." It's still lying though and it's still breaking a promise.
I think you said no because no matter what your husband has done, you are still aware that you are married. No matter how much stress you are under, you don't forget your responsibilities. Maybe he didn't see it as so much of a responsibility? Or maybe he was raised with certain ideas like "a man will cheat, it's bad but it's natural and expected?"
There is often an expctation, spoken or not, that men don't have control over their impulses in the presence of a sufficiently beautiful woman. I think that's complete bunk, everyone has control over themselves. However, if a man keeps getting the message that he really doesn't have control, that at a certain point all flesh is weak and it's normal to want to spread his wild oats, and that he doesn't have real choice, then he might stray without seeing that he chose to do this, he wasn't the victim of anything. He needs to accept that he made the choice to betray you. He needs to accept that he can choose othewise.
I'm very curious to read other people's thoughts.View Thread
Yes, I've felt this. Part of the time it was lack of good health and part of it was mind games my brain was playing with me. I grew up with a rather unhealthy view of sexuality so for a long time it was hard to talk about those feelings and impulses. I still have difficulty being as open as I should be with my partner. I have experienced waning libido, in my case that's probably hormonal, at least in part. The same is true for my spouse but she's on HRT at this point so it's unsurprising for that to happen when things are out of balance.
I probably have a problem because sex isn't my priority, and it's kind of easy to stay in a rut with not having it that often. So it's easier to do without than to try to change so I can have more fun doing something that really isn't that interesting when it happens. My spouse has a rather low drive much of the time so it's really a case of neither of us taking the initiative that often.
I'm looking forward to getting my thyroid hormone levels fixed, perhaps that will have some effect. It would be nice to have more interest in things, and lack of thyroid hormone can cause depression, which causes lack of interes in enjoyable things in general.View Thread
(By the way folks, no worrys, I'm being friendly here)
Don't forget about the Democrats wanting to grow government so huge that there isn't room for anything or anyone, and tax the heck out of everyone so there's nothing left get health care with... in my opinion, right now the Democrats and the Republicans have exactly the same goals, which is to make more money for themselves and spread the burden out among everyone so we're all poorer for it. I'm not part of either poilical party. I'm more ofa cross between liberterian and constitutional conservative.
Glad to hear about your tooth feeling better. Probably something moved off a nerve. Remember the clove trick though, no matter how nasty it tastes, because it really can help with mouth pain.View Thread
Ouch! I know all about tooth troubles. Nobody seems to go by "First, Do No Harm." Reminds me of the time I was practically dying, hardly able to breathe, and my poor spouse was frantically calling around to every urgent care place to try to find somebody who would send us a bill and give us a month or so to pay instead of wanting several hundred we didn't have up front. No dice. So I recovered on my own, fortunately. That's the way it's been for me, for a long time. And then Medicaid pays the doctors so little, with so much extra work for the doctor's offices in paperwork and everything, many don't want to take Medicaid patients.
So you have my total sympathy. Keep on that penicilin, and keep your mouth clean while you are waiting for the dentist. I've found that cutting sugar out of my diet helps me control tooth pain on a short term basis. If you want a nice pain relieving mouth rinse, soak cloves (powdered works, but it's gritty) in some water. Use a Gatorade bottle or something like that. The stuff looks awful but it does a lot to calm tooth and gum pain. Just soak it in your mouth, swish it around, and spit. Keep that mouth as clean as you can so the bacteria don't grow as fast, and you will be able to hold off a little longer before needing antibiotics again.
Good luck, my Bro! Sanae will be there when you get back to her!View Thread
And you are still a big sweetie, Bro Dennis. I'm glad you are having fun with it! I'm getting closer to publication and your encouragement is very helpful to me. Thank you Dennis, and thank you everyone else too, for all your support.View Thread
Feel free to create your own thread, by the way, you're welcome to do that and it might make responses easier. I'm with Dennis on this. I know you don't want to abandon your boyfriend. If you did he'd be on the curb already. It's easy to ignore verbal abuse, but he's been abusive to you for a long time already just by neglecting you. He may love you but he's sure not loving you in the right way, and it sounds like he's not willing to admit that. He may also love having a place to live.
I have to know, why did you have to beg him to convince you to stay with him? That seems backwards and convoluted to me.
I know you still care about him. But love can't fix everything unless both people are equally committed and willing to put some seriously hard work into the relationship. I'm speaking as the person who was being inadvertently verbally abusive and emotionally distant in my relationship, so I know. If I hadn't put some seriously hard work into improving, I'd be stuck and alone.
I think you are right, you are making the wrong decision. You are not respecting yourself and you are letting him walk all over you. You may be afraid that he can't survive on his own, but it's amazing how much easier it is to hold down a job and get things done when you don't have a safety net. Please, don't enable him any further. Set hard limits, stick to them, respect yourself. You aren't doing any favors by letting him treat you this way. Love him by expecting better behavior, love him by not giving him a choice but to grow up. If that makes you split up, then the relationship wasn't beant to be and I think it was toxic for BOTH of you.
You can't fix him, but you can stand on your rights as a human being.View Thread
Forgive yourself, big bro. Cultural differences are a really big pain to deal with, because you have to literally shift yourself into a whole other way of thinking. Don't Monday Morning Quarterback yourself there. Maybe you had the information available to you, but that's different than considering the cultural background with everything the mother in law did, for example. It's hard to do that all the time and nobody is perfect. So forgive yourself before I come over there with a big fluffy feather pillow and bat you with it!
To both Smiley and Dennis,
Cultural differences have been in my mind lately because they are a common reason for problems I have with people. I've come to realize that the people I was raised around have a somewhat sneaky, backbiting way about them just in how they are. There is a tendency to be indirect, to not say what they really mean, and to be mildly dishonest in order to avoid conflict. I grew up hating conflict and unable to deal with it for that reason. I also grew up being really uncomfortable with directness.
My spouse on the other hand believes in saying what she means, and though she does it in a kind way, my lack of comfort iwth directness makes me think she's being harsher than she really is. She can deal with confrontation if she has to, so she's more inclined to be direct and precise. She's also much better at thinking before she speaks, which is one of the sole benefits of being regularly beaten as a child. (Not just spanking, beating.)
Many of our misunderstandings stem from differences in how we were raised, but it's hard for me to remember that there are differences because we're from the same country, etc, after all. My point here is, how someone was raised and the central founding beliefs they have can make a huge difference in human interaction. Becoming better at taking those differences into account can be really, really helpful. Meanwhile, I'll be working on that too!View Thread
Cool! Now if I can only get a leeeetle extra time to finish final ediitng. I think the series you are thinking of might be the Dragonriders of Pern. I liked Dune, haven't read any of the sequels still. Love Tolkiens's work. My novel is fantasy but at the same time everything's ultimately understandable, nothing happens that has a cop out "a wizard did it" explanation. I tried to build it on a solid foundation of how people really would act and behave and the internal laws of my world are consistent. Basically, I was trying to write something you didn't have to suspend disbelief too much to enjoy. Like the Lord of the Rings or Dune. Both of those were beautifully thought out.View Thread
I'm curious what cultural background your husband has, Smiley. I ask because I've noticed that some cultural groups (like Scandinavian for example) have a tendency to not be forthcoming if there's something wrong. The problem was endemic where I grew up (Western Washington State). It seemed as if many folks were unused to speaking directly or resolving problems in a straightforward manner.
This is not an excuse for bad behavior, by the way. I'm trying to learn to be direct, because I know the way I used to do things is messed up. But if you get to the root of how he communicates it might be easier to understand him, and therefore get him to behave better.View Thread