Okay, well, if you are a different An_259559 then I apologize. But they are generally unique identifyers and someone with that same user ID has been very nasty and abusive, including to one of our own beloved members. I'm going to stand up for others on here. I do care about this community so I'll stick my neck out if I have to. If you come in peace, and you aren't that other user, then welcome! Perhaps come up with a user ID of your own so we don't get confused?View Thread
First, happy birthday! Sounds like your friend may not have gotten much training on how to be a good friend, but I'm glad she values you and recognizes that you are a good friend to her. Sounds like she is one of those peripheral friends a person doesn't really expect anything from, yet anything nice they do is a kind of bonus. It may become easier once that mental adjustment is made. In the meantime, I hope you had a great day!View Thread
I totally hear you there, Deb. You are always welcome to come back here, where there are a few folks like me who see your struggle and give you credit for effort. I do see how hard you try, and I do see the value you have inside. I respect you for that. But I totally undestand your frustration-- it's hard to try so hard and feel like you are getting nothing for it.View Thread
I've been told recently that being too accommodating can become martyrdom. Being "too nice," so that a person gives up their own desires or interests in favor of their partners, may seem like being loving but ultimately it's a path toward resentment. That's a hard lesson for me.View Thread
Hi Justin! I personally haven't seen you behave inappropriately here. Of course, I wasn't here this weekend, but I haven't known you to be anything but polite. Although I don't know the content of what An_259559 said, I highly suspect that the post was deleted because of what they said, not what you said. The only messages I have read from An_259559 have been very abusive, rude, and full of baseless accusations. So I hope you consider that. You may have actually done nothing wrong at all, but I've seen that particular anonymous user try to victimize people who are hurting before.
The anonymous user names have a pattern. If you see one particular number, it's going to be that same user making the comment. The number won't change if it's the same user doing it. Please, don't let that coward bring you down. Stay here and accept our support. We're glad to help.View Thread
That sounds like a really frustrating situation! Your boyfriend has a hard road ahead of him. To most normal American families, his tie with his family is way too strong and is hurting him socially. I say American families because in some cultures it's more normal to be extremely close to the parents throughout life. In my own humble and admittedly flawed opnion, he needs to grow up, learn to set boundaries, and cut the umbilical cord before it chokes both of you. His parents are behaving in a very infantile way and they apparently don't know it. You aren't wrong for wanting boundaries.View Thread
That's an important thing to think about. If he is open to a discussion, you might start by exploring his reasons for not wanting a condom. Are they uncomfortable in some way?
Does he have bad associatiosn? IF he is willing to talk about it, see if you can let him know your reasons for wanting thme. There is a risk of pregnancy, as well as a risk of catching an as yet undiscovered STD. Birth control pills aren't bad, but they do have an expense and they change your hormonal balence. If you decide to go on them so you can be condom-free, I'd insist on exclusivity as well as a thorough STD screening for him.
Let him know that his behavior is immature and he has no right to deny you pleasure just because he can't have his way. This is only a suggestion, but I'd be seriously considering ending the relationship if he refuses to help keep you safe.
My gut reaction is that he's being childish and trying to punish you for not giving him what he wants. He is essentially wanting to put you at increased risk, without your agreement. That's not the act of a supportive and loving partner. I really, really hope I'm wrong, and I hope he sees reason. Don't stop wanting to protect yourself.
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