An_250579 seems to be a troublemaker. I have seen them post before and I have not seen them contribute anything helpful.
Deb, don't listen to this anonymous person. If they could stand behind what they said, they wouldn't hide behind an anonymous user name, would they? It's plain to see you have people who care about you here, who will defend you. Please let that in, and at least see this as an opportunity to have people support you.
We support you, Deb. Don't let yourself be hurt by this anonymous user.View Thread
I'm glad you had a good weekend, Dennis. I had a pretty good one. Did some art, did some marketing for my site, had some quality time with the spouse, and one (small) fight! So that was pretty good!View Thread
By the way Dennis, there's another dragon waiting for you on my website. The link is on my profile as usual. This one is black and white but I think you might like it. As usual, you can send it as a free ecard if you want.View Thread
Thank you very much for that distinction, Dr. Leslie. The difference between having control and having influence... seeing the differences between those two things would be really helpful. I can practice that!View Thread
Thank you for that advice, Dennis! I do need to change the way I think about myself. And that is a really useful thing you told me regarding being afraid to hurt someone's feelings. In fact, in my desperation not to hurt someone's feelings, sometimes I end up really insulting them instead without being aware of it. So that's something to really look at.View Thread
Hi there, Dennis. I knew I could count on you for thoughtful respsone, I appreciate it. Regarding your first question, part of me feels ready to be a team lead, but I want to be more mature and emotionally stable before I tackle that kind of challenge. It's the same kind of skill I need to develop for being a better partner to my spouse.
Part of the reason why I am comparing my work life and my home life, is I'm a lot more successful at work than I am at home. I think it's because I tend to relax too much at home, I take off my "game face" and I don't figt as hard to stay upbeat. I feel like more of a "victim" at home.
The "victim mindset" comes up as a result of multiple discussions talking about the fact that I should have control over my thoughts and that I am letting my emotions run me instead of thinking. Bascically the idea is that mature people take responsibility over their actions and stand behind what they say, instead of being a victim of the world around them . I can't control the world around me but I can choose how I react.
The trouble I have had lately is I haven't been good at interrupting my reflexive responses and taking control over my own thought processes. I have been, essentially, a victim of my own poor mental programming.View Thread
This is a thought I wanted to share because it's kind of relevant to many of us, it has to do with personal interaction and mindset.
My operatiosn manager said something interesting to me while she was doing a performance review of my team lead. She was giving my team lead advice on how to handle my performance, and I had thanked her for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this evaluation because it was interesting to see how everything worked.
My operatiosn manager (my boss's boss) said "you'll need to know this if you ever decide to be a Team Lead."
That stopped me cold and made me think. Could it be that big a part of it? I have previously had this idea that I do my job, and I try to do it well, and if people want me to advance they pick me. I'm changing my outlook. Instead of being stuck in "victim mindset," which is what I am realizing it is, I'm thinking about the different ways I can get control of my situation. This is true in relationships, too, so I've also been looking at ways I actually have control over my situation, instead of just being a victim of my own instincts and feelings.
I asked my operations manager how I would start if I decided I wanted to be a team lead some day. She quite seriously and thoroughly told me the process, and my next step, and seemed pleased with my question!View Thread
If they are no longer friends, why does she keep trying to text him? You aren't evil anyway, and you aren't wrong for wondering. Sounds like a good open talk is needed. If they are not friends anymore, no problem, but it sounds like she still wants to be friends. I know that it's perfectly possible to stay over at a person's house without anything happening but this kind of thing requires a good talk.View Thread
That is the absolute perfect topic for me right now! I can really relate. Thank you for posting it. When I remember to pause and do this, it really does help. The shift of mindset from defensiveness to curiosity is key for me.View Thread