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'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
I have many relatives that I don't love at all because they have nothing in common with me and even undermine my purpose in life. They are virtual strangers and I am content to keep them that way. Some have said I should love them no matter what because they are family, but I reject that. I can't see how I could love someone I have nothing in common with. I give them a certain level of respect, but not if their actions are reprehensible, as they so often are.
The folk I accept as family are my grandmother (sole remaining grandparent) and my parents. Right now my mother's brothers and sisters are fighting over my grandmother as she nears the end of her life, their actions are reprehensible and they are no family of mine. Or that's how I see it, anyway. I don't feel I'm a bad person, I just feel that love can't be forced when the person you are supposed to love isn't behaving in a way that's worthy of it.View Thread
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
For me, and for many I know, that's exactly how it is. I can't even think about sex before I feel close with someone, and I feel close usually by talking to them or engaging in other, lesser intimate behaviors like hugging, hand holding, sitting together, etc.
It also really sounds to me like she probably has unresolved issues about the miscarriages and it could be causing her to be depressed. Sometimes depression shows itself in odd ways. I'd say she needs help. Especially considering the "go ballistic" aspect of your first post, and that you say she is aggressive and controlling, which can be really daunting to deal with.
Couples counseling might be one of the only ways to go. If you are religious, sometimes you can get that through a church if money is an issue. Again, best of luck to you. I admire you for keeping up an effort and still trying.View Thread
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
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