Bulley1030 :- Relationships and Coping Community -: Support Group

Bulley1030

Joined: 06/14/2012

My Story:

Going through some very harsh life realities, of love and marriage. I am 23 trying to understand things no 23 yr old should have to. Seeing a therapist, and trying to forget about being depressed. I ride horses, love my dog, and naturally love life, but life sometimes doesnt love me. I like all of the blogs on the Couples Coping and Relationships, also the Debate blog is quite spicy at times :) Thanks for stopping in!

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Reply: dating a married man

I love all the previous responses but yours esp since its from the victims point of...

Posted by Bulley1030

125 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:dating a married man I love all the previous responses but yours esp since its from the victims point of...

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Reply: How to solve trust issues in a marriage?

I fully understand where you are, my husband cheated on me about 3 months ago. We were...

Posted by Bulley1030

I fully understand where you are, my husband cheated on me about 3 months ago. We were each other's firsts with everything, and have only been married 2 years in oct. I have started to realize that worrying about whether or not he is going to cheat again is going to get me no where. I have been working on empowering myself, and realizing in my head that I am not reliant on him. I could leave and be pefectly fine financially, emotionally, and physically. I dont call/text him throughout the day. That is his job to come back to me, so why do it for him?

Dont let him have that control over you so that all you worry about is him. He needs to worry about YOU since he cheated! Girl, do things for yourself. Go shopping, get a massage, go for a walk, ANYTHING that makes you happy. Not to say screw him and be selfish, but you need you time, and time to settle all this in your head. The troubled thoughts come and go, and eventually are easier to deal with, but trust will come back very slowly (as I am learning).

I told my husband that I needed to trust him again in little things before I could trust him again with my whole heart. So for instance I now trust that I do not have to worry he wont be on time to work. He has made it a goal to work on that and has proved it to me by being on time everyday for more than 3 months now. Also he is NOT on his phone at home and if he is, he shows me what he is doing or who he talked/text to that day. I see EVERYTHING and know EVERYTHING. That puts my mind at ease that there is no way in hell he can get past me again. I have backed off now since some time has passed, but there are days I still go through his phone.

I hope this is something you can work through, but sometimes you just cant. I think you should seriously ask yourself that question. I had to, and I realized that I have dealt with worse in my life, and I know that he truly wants to be all the husband he can be to me. Does your husband try to prove the same to you? Keep your chin up, do what makes YOU happy, and STOP worrying about him! You can do it! keep in touch.

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Posted byBulley1030

14 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How to solve trust issues in a marriage? I fully understand where you are, my husband cheated on me about 3 months ago. We were...