Thank you!! I appreciate your kind words. He will find someone. My boyfriend dated after his marriage and before we started dating. And they were rebounds for sure. There's a right person out there for everyone. If he's looking for real love and not something else, he'll find someone who will care for your son as well. I used to say I didn't like kids and I never had any myself but now that I've had my boyfriend's kids in my life, I can't imagine life without them in it!!View Thread
About 15 months ago I was in your same position. I was newly divorced from my husband of 12 years (neither of us cheated — we just fell out of love several years before and I decided to end it because we were living more like roommates). Soon after my divorce, I reconnected with an old schoolmate I had met first met 25 years ago (via Facebook). He had been separated/divorced for more than a year. The difference in our marriages is that she cheated on him and they had two young kids together. He'd be the first to admit that her infidelity killed his trust in women almost instantly. Someone on here said that men invest in their family commitments and I believe that is true. And only time and love can heal wounds. Anyways, I really liked this guy so I decided it was worth sticking with it. I won't say I didn't endure some minimal heartache myself early on. He kept me at a distance early on and even cancelled dates on me because he was "sick". I'm guessing the illness was mild depression stemming from his broken heart. For the first five months of our relationship, I only saw him once every two weeks (but we spoke/texted multiple times per day) because he wanted to wait to introduce me to the kids and he has joint custody of them and gets them every other weekend. Also, we didn't see each other more often because we live almost an hour one way from each other. Once I met the kids, I saw him once a week. Next he slowly introduced me to his family over the holidays. And after he could see I was really going to be there for him and that I wasn't like what he had experienced in the past, at 6 mos. he finally told me he loved me for the first time and we made our commitment to each other at that time. I let him make all these important relationship decisions on his own because I knew he needed to do so in order to move on from the hurt he endured with his ex-wife. They always remained friends — they had to for the sake of the kids. But his trust of women in general was destroyed. Now, more than 18 months into our relationship, we get along so well, never having had an argument. We treat each other with respect and openly show each other the love we both missed out on in our first marriages. He gets along with her because it's the right thing to do but his love and heartache for her is gone. And although I don't dislike my ex, I respect my new boyfriend and my exs new girlfriend enough not to continue to keep in touch with him. My boyfriend's love is for me and I believe that 100%. I know it sometimes bothers him when the kids mention something that happened back when their family wasn't broken up. But that's kids in general — they remember what they understand were the good times and he doesn't scold them for remembering the fun times they shared as a family. His ex —wife remarried someone else shortly after their divorce was final (not the man she cheated with). She seems happy and the guy she's married to is like me in that he respects that the exs still have business to take care of and that they must get along for the sake of the kids. One more thing unique — I've met his ex and I actually like her despite the fact that she has hurt someone I love. We made the effort to get to know each other. She has told me that she's glad that I am there for her children when she can't be. This is because once I met and got to know the kids, I realized I was in a relationship with my boyfriend AND his kids. I respect that I am not their mother BUT I love them like I am. And finally, another funny thing"026 I am now connected to the ex-wife on Facebook too! How am I sure my boyfriend has moved on with me and let go of the bitter feelings towards his ex?"026 he tells me every day that he loves me and he's perfectly comfortable with the bond I've established with his ex-wife!! Good luck!! It will take some patience on your part but if you show him the love he needs, he'll probably stop being bitter and return the love to you View Thread
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