seriously? me and 4 of my friends or family members are miserable. We feel as though we settled for our spouses, and NOW wham, we are sick and tired of trying and now fed up with being lonely and miserable. 3 of us have been the ideal spouses and done everything for our spouses, men and women, BUT these spouses have not done their part.. they are slackers, unaffectionate, unloving, not helpful, etc.. is it because we simply chose the wrong person? too unequally matched? diferent ideas? or what?? these 3 cpiples that i speak of have explained for several yrs to their SO, but they are unwilling to change, its just the way they are.. or it seems too little too late..View Thread
Dennis, im not saying taht a molester can't change: i'm saying that is one of the things I wouldnt tolerate or welcome into my life. Thats all. I know me, and its just something that i couldnt and wouldnt want to be a part of my life. I would not willingly choose a person that was a molester. Im sorry for your past, and Im sorry about the ex. You do have to try really hard to let it go, and it is possible. Your wife hurt you and devastated you: but you also feel like she was able to move on, maybe get a happy relationship and life, and here you are feeling blue, searching for someone special, and pitiful lots of the time. Dennis, you cant let her keep on directing your life. The things that she did showed a huge character flaw in HER, not YOU! she's still hurting you, and still controlling you, and your letting her., I just think despite the loneliness, hurt and resentment that you now feel, you have got to move on, I dont think you can show the sweet, nice guy that you are..View Thread
Dennis, life is hard, and relationships are very hard.. most people are scared too death of many many things, one being putting themselves out there, and the possibilitoies of being hurt or rejected, stolen from, used, or abused in some way. Maybe they are not as judgemental, as they are just unsure. We tend to base of decisions on the future with the experiences from the past. I can forgive someone, but would I date a child molester, one that is now rehabilitated, molested 40 years ago, NO.. not that I would think he would re offend or taht i condemn him before really getting to know him, but I would just think it would carry high risks to bring him into my life with me and my children. I think you should not look at it as they are so judgemental, as maybe they are just safe guarding. Maybe they havenot told you that they too had those same issues in the past, maybe they see it as not helping them, but as a hindremce, and out of fear of relapse. I think you are a very warm, caring man. I know that u get down and out, and I can surely see how depressing this must be. Maybe you should NOT tell the women as quickly as you have in the past. When they ask, just tell them not now, you will in good time. Treat them right, show them all of your fantastic pluses, and its not deceitful to eait and let them in on the negatives for a while. I surely would not blame a terrific guy. If u meet a lady that u really care for, then just play it cool, show your amazing personality, let her fall for you. When u trust her enough, tell her that because you care so much, you didnt want to open up until now. It would have no bearing on me. Drugs that is,, molestation yes,, that's a deal breaker for me,, Dennis, Ive been here for years, and I find you most appealing, You are very insightful, loving, warm, and genuine as well as intelligent. Do not let lonliness take a hold of your life! You have too much to offer, do not settle for less than an amazing women, and one that will see all that you have, and one that will be proud of the man that youve become. A real women will love you whole heartidly and love ALL of you, past, present and future!!View Thread
for sure, do not let the people gossipping or saying that you quit, hinder you. You are 69, for Petes sake, you have the right to move, quit work, divorce or do anything that you feel led to do.. Youve earned the right to do soemthing for yourself. I think you should do new things, try the route to your daughters more often, you will get more familiar with the traveling, and thus feel less anxiety. What about volunteering at a hospital, or assisted living home? What about sitting with the elderly? They are needing a little help, and are lonely as well. Your church, most likely has small tasks that you can do, or people that need a meal or a visit, and that would make me feel wonferful. My mother is 77, and my father dies 6 years ago, They were married 54 years. We thought she was going to do, as she had never worked, and in fact she grieved herself almost too death.. NOT now. she says she's never been happier in her life! oh, and what about gardening? do you like flowers, vegtable gardens? meet someone new with similar interests, its a great therapy. Your the perfect age to really enjoy a fun filled leisurely lifestyle. I think you should speak more often to your children and grand children, for whatever reason, one a week on the phone, wouldnt be enough for me. Spend time with the grands as much as possible.. hope we helped you in some way.View Thread
Dennis, I SOO disagree, to me, 54 is very, very young!! Do not get down, despair, or feel hopeless! You sound like a wonderful man, and no doubt that you WILL make some lady an amazing husband. I know this. I'm only 40, and still feel like I am 20. I feel more beautiful and happier with "who" I am than ever before. I am very very unhappy with my life, but I am planning on a way out. It may take a while, but I know that I will be happy for the rest of my life. I'm a happy, go lucky person, and I too, will meet the one, and be happy. I am positive of that, BUT I will not let it occupy my time. One of my favorite things to do is cater to my love, and I will eventually find someone like yourself taht likes it all, likes pleasing me as well, likes catering to me, and we will wrestle over doing nice things for the other... I know that their has got to be more men like you. I personally think its very very wise, it makes you happy, and yes, it comes back 10 fold. Keep your head up! Your light cant shine, if they cant see the light in your eyes!!View Thread
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