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TML and Dennis are exactly right, she has no respect for you as a person. You need to move on. As for her being "hot" that doesnt give anyone the right to date as many people as possible. I know several "hot" women who are in great relationships and they are loyal to their man, so what makes this girl different? She clearly has issues and she craves attention. And you feed into that by constantly texting her and trying to keep her at arms length because you know she is seeing other guys. Give her a taste of her own medicine and ignore her, dont care about her and see what she does then. Actually, dont do that, just get her out of your life and find a real woman who will treat you like a human being, with respect and dignity. I wish you the best of luck man, but its time to move on from this train wreck!View Thread

First off, you are not the only one who fears sexual humiliation...a lot of men have that fear, me included. Secondly, I agree with your therapist, if i was in your situation, i would have told her to make a decision. If she really cares about you and wants this to work, she already would have made up her mind. And she also could be doing this to have her ego stroked, knowing its driving you mad, means that you care about her. It's clear that you do care about her, but like you said, you shouldnt have to demand her to stop seeing those other two guys.
I am sorry that there is distance between the two of you, i know how that feels and being divorced as well, its an all familiar feeling. But maybe the distance is a good thing, you might be able to step back and evaluate things with fresh eyes. As for the LDR guy, i honestly think he is out of sight out of mind and you are focusing on the closest threat to home, which is logical. In terms of the distance thing and YOU feeling guilty...that doesn't make sense, i understand why you can feel that way. I am assuming that you are beating yoruself up over her not wanting to be with only you and that your doing something wrong. Obviously i dontk now all the facts about your relationship, but you seem like a pretty genuine person. You are reacting in a very rational and level headed way, you did do anything wrong. SHE is the one who should bear any guilt, she is the one with an almost baby daddy and a horny guy chasing after her. Which part of that is your fault? You can what if? or coulda shoulda woulda, its not going to change what happened, she is doing what she is doing because she knows you are not going anywhere. So in her mind she is going to have her fun and let you be miserable, wondering how you can fix this. It's not your problem to fix.
In all actuality we seem to do the same things in relationships at least based off of what i know. I would be in a relationship and i would pour myself into it, losing myself in making her happy. knowing that what ever she put me thru i would stick it out because i didnt want to hurt someone that i cared that deeply about. But over the past few months something changed, i am not exactly sure what. But i dated a bit more than i usually have and at first those same feelings where there...rushing into things to quickly. But most recently i set boundaries, i know what my mistakes where in the past and i spoke with my lady friend and set up boundaries. They might be silly or what ever, but i have never done that in a realtionship before. It felt amazing and if i dont talk to her for a day or two i dont feel like my stomach is going to explode.
I guess what im trying to say is that you seem like a good guy and you dont have to deal with all of her BS and issues. She obviously gets jealous very quickly at you, but cant see the forest thru the trees when it comes to her personal life. In all honesty, if i were in your position, i would have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel, how your hurting and then let her know that you dont deserve to feel like this. And when she gets upset or angry or how ever she reacts, tell her that you need to move on and you dont need all this senseless drama in your life. This is a conversation i would have never been able to have before and i know its easier said than done. But would ending the relationship hurt you more than your hurting now? possibly, but i guarantee that hurt will go away very quickly and you can get out there and meet a woman who is deserving of a caring guy like yourself.
Best of luck!
ICView Thread

Im going to pose a question, which we probably wont know the answer to, hopefully the doc could give some insight. How do you think she would feel, if she was in your shoes? If you had a close girlfriend who wanted to be with you intimately and you had another person in your life miles away?
You are the person that is there for her, giving her support. The other guy seems like a way to get a free dinner and i need more info on the LDR guy. From the outside looking in, it seems as if she is trying to take advantage of a good guy. I know i dont know all the details, so my assumption could be all wrong and i hope it is wrong. We know what happens when we assume lol.
I wish you all the bestView Thread

I agree with Dennis, if she says nothing is going on, then she is probably telling you the truth. Especially since you know about the other guy she is in a LDR with, she seems to be pretty honest with you. As for her bragging, it could be that like Dennis said, she is trying to make you feel jealous or trying to force you into something.
My concern would be that she is in a long distance thing with another guy??? Your not jealous over that? But a guy that she says she has no interest in, it bothering you. Id be more worried about the LDR guy. How long has that been going on? Was she seeing him before you started dating her? Does she visit him or vice versa?
Not to put her in an awkward spot, since she doesnt seem to take questioning lightly, but there will be a point when she has to make a decision, she cant have her cake and eat it too.
Being recently divorced, i know it took me a while to get back on my feet and into the dating pool again. I found myself settling for less just because i missed the companionship, so its up to you to decide if your emotionally ready to enter into another serious relationship or are you doing it to fill a void?
All the best
ICView Thread

Im sorry to hear about your situation, i can only imagine how hard this has been on you. After reading your post, i started to think about why, he could be in this situation with his ex. When you said that another one of his ex's said you were only after him for his money...typically when someone says something like that, they are the ones after the money and they are jealous that you do make him happy. The baby momma, may have been after his money and she could be using his son as a way to control him. What i mean by that is she may be keeping everything civil with him in the custody battle, but holding over his head, that if you become a bigger part of their sons life than she is, she will go after him money. So he could be doing this to protect, the nest egg that he has. And he could feel embarassed by the situation not to tell you about it, we men have great pride and sometimes we dont want to show that vulnerability. Even to someone who means the world to us, we were raised to be strong and proud...and showing weakness or emotion means we are less of a man. I believe that last sentence is BS but a lot of guys truly believe it. Being vulnerable and emotional is part of being human, its not a sign of weakness.
But as the Doc said, if you find yourself feeling more hurt with him than without...it may just be time to move on. Much easier typed than done, but hopefully you have a good support group, if you do decide to move on.
Best of luck!
ICView Thread

I was going to reach out to her yesterday to hang out, i had the day off, but decided against it. My reasoning for that is because i do not want to ask her out and not get a response, i agree that i do need to bring up this topic to her. And just get a feel for where her mind is and basicially just put it out there, that when she wants to hang out, she can get ahold of me. Im not going to text/call if she isnt going to respond, and leave the ball in her court. Once that is said, im pretty sure she wont contact me. If she does ill be shocked and this entire process can start over again lolView Thread




I am so greatful for everyone's input.
ICView Thread
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