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Reply: How can I handle my jealousy in this case?

DBC TML and Dennis are exactly right, she has no respect for you as a person....

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How can I handle my jealousy in this case? DBC TML and Dennis are exactly right, she has no respect for you as a person....

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Reply: How can I handle my jealousy in this case?

DBC, First off, you are not the only one who fears sexual humiliation...a lot...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

DBC,

First off, you are not the only one who fears sexual humiliation...a lot of men have that fear, me included. Secondly, I agree with your therapist, if i was in your situation, i would have told her to make a decision. If she really cares about you and wants this to work, she already would have made up her mind. And she also could be doing this to have her ego stroked, knowing its driving you mad, means that you care about her. It's clear that you do care about her, but like you said, you shouldnt have to demand her to stop seeing those other two guys.

I am sorry that there is distance between the two of you, i know how that feels and being divorced as well, its an all familiar feeling. But maybe the distance is a good thing, you might be able to step back and evaluate things with fresh eyes. As for the LDR guy, i honestly think he is out of sight out of mind and you are focusing on the closest threat to home, which is logical. In terms of the distance thing and YOU feeling guilty...that doesn't make sense, i understand why you can feel that way. I am assuming that you are beating yoruself up over her not wanting to be with only you and that your doing something wrong. Obviously i dontk now all the facts about your relationship, but you seem like a pretty genuine person. You are reacting in a very rational and level headed way, you did do anything wrong. SHE is the one who should bear any guilt, she is the one with an almost baby daddy and a horny guy chasing after her. Which part of that is your fault? You can what if? or coulda shoulda woulda, its not going to change what happened, she is doing what she is doing because she knows you are not going anywhere. So in her mind she is going to have her fun and let you be miserable, wondering how you can fix this. It's not your problem to fix.

In all actuality we seem to do the same things in relationships at least based off of what i know. I would be in a relationship and i would pour myself into it, losing myself in making her happy. knowing that what ever she put me thru i would stick it out because i didnt want to hurt someone that i cared that deeply about. But over the past few months something changed, i am not exactly sure what. But i dated a bit more than i usually have and at first those same feelings where there...rushing into things to quickly. But most recently i set boundaries, i know what my mistakes where in the past and i spoke with my lady friend and set up boundaries. They might be silly or what ever, but i have never done that in a realtionship before. It felt amazing and if i dont talk to her for a day or two i dont feel like my stomach is going to explode.

I guess what im trying to say is that you seem like a good guy and you dont have to deal with all of her BS and issues. She obviously gets jealous very quickly at you, but cant see the forest thru the trees when it comes to her personal life. In all honesty, if i were in your position, i would have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel, how your hurting and then let her know that you dont deserve to feel like this. And when she gets upset or angry or how ever she reacts, tell her that you need to move on and you dont need all this senseless drama in your life. This is a conversation i would have never been able to have before and i know its easier said than done. But would ending the relationship hurt you more than your hurting now? possibly, but i guarantee that hurt will go away very quickly and you can get out there and meet a woman who is deserving of a caring guy like yourself.

Best of luck!

ICView Thread

Posted by1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How can I handle my jealousy in this case? DBC, First off, you are not the only one who fears sexual humiliation...a lot...

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Reply: How can I handle my jealousy in this case?

DBC, Im going to pose a question, which we probably wont know the answer to,...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How can I handle my jealousy in this case? DBC, Im going to pose a question, which we probably wont know the answer to,...

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Reply: How can I handle my jealousy in this case?

DBC, I agree with Dennis, if she says nothing is going on, then she is...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:How can I handle my jealousy in this case? DBC, I agree with Dennis, if she says nothing is going on, then she is...

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Reply: Embarrassed but here goes....

Tutu, Im sorry to hear about your situation, i can only imagine how hard this...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Embarrassed but here goes.... Tutu, Im sorry to hear about your situation, i can only imagine how hard this...

Reply: Advice/Input please...Met a young lady.

I appreciate your input. Still havent got a reply to the text i sent, i saw her...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Advice/Input please...Met a young lady. I appreciate your input. Still havent got a reply to the text i sent, i saw her...

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Reply: Questioning boundaries adult child and mother

I would have to agree with FCL, moral support at a court hearing is warrented....

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

9 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Questioning boundaries adult child and mother I would have to agree with FCL, moral support at a court hearing is warrented....

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Reply: My girlfriend of four years want toi live celibate...

Clearly, she hasnt read the bible all that closely, once you are married you are...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:My girlfriend of four years want toi live celibate now? Clearly, she hasnt read the bible all that closely, once you are married you are...

Advice/Input please...Met a young lady.

About a month or so ago i met a girl, it started out as us just hanging out over...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Advice/Input please...Met a young lady. About a month or so ago i met a girl, it started out as us just hanging out over...

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Reply: Recently Divorced, moved back in with family to ge...

Thanks for the advice, i do write, albeit poetry. Which can be a blessing and...

Posted by 1nt3rnalC0mbu5t1on

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Recently Divorced, moved back in with family to get back on my feet, hesitant to start dating again Thanks for the advice, i do write, albeit poetry. Which can be a blessing and...

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