Hi everyone, just had to pop on and say; HAPPY BIRD DAY to ya!!!
Well, here it is, Thanksgiving day and no one to play with. No matter, I have Bubba, a couple of beers in da fridge, and all the makings of a very nice turkey and honey smoked ham sub. Ahhh, time to sit back, think of all the things I have thanks for, especially my health! I also have many friends right here, right here in Web. M.D.! Sometimes, I don't know what I would do without you guys? You guys have kept me on an even keel, and I greatly appreciate it!!!!
I look forward to another year of sharing with my Web.M.D. family and friends, and my family, also!!! So, without further adieu, I am off to make that sandwich, sit down in my easy chair, and start the day off right, time for some football and chips and dips!!!
Later on, after I have had a sufficient amount of chips and dips, it will be time to crack open an ice cold beer, grab that sammie outta da fridge, and enjoy myself immensely!!!
Now, BRING ON THE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once again, I would like to wish each and every one of you a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Enjoy your day!!! I'm gonna enjoy mine!!! LOL!!!
Hmmm, FCL has a good point! Ask your sister why the folks don't spend as much time with your sister, especially at her home?
It is NOT you that needs "fixed"! It is your overprotective/overbearing parents that need the help letting go of your hand!!! If my parents took their vacay to stay with me for over a month, I would have packed some stuff and went to the hotel to get away from them! Then I would have called them and invited them to come stay with me here. When they ask me why I'm doing this, I would explain it this way: "I love you guys, you know I do, but, I am not the one on vacation, and as long as you guys stay in my house, you interrupt me while I am working. I cannot have you doing that when I am on a conference call, or any other business! So, when you take a vacay, please take it somewhere you guys have never been before, see the sights if you will? And listen, If you want to stop by for a weekend, just let me know in advance so I can clear my docket and enjoy some time with you?! K??? Great, now its back to work for me! Call me this weekend, and I will see if I can get free, o.k.? Great! You guys enjoy your vacay"!!! Then leave before they mount a counter attack. It should leave them speechless, but you just never know? The only thing you need to fix is, your ability to deny them, or defy them?
These are your parents, you need not feel guilty for standing up for yourself, they should appreciate it? This should tell them it is okay to cut the cords, and let you fly solo? It should, but some folks never let go of their kids?
Hmmm, finding weakness in you? Well, next time you do invite them for Xmas, tell them in a way they can understand that; "you guys can only stay X amount of days due to other arrangements. Sorry, but that is how it must be". As soon as you hear anything other than great, or sounds good, remind them of your other engagement. By saying and doing these kinds of things, you can get it through their heads that you have a life other than entertaining them for a month and a half?!
Stop their abuse. It seems to me like some kind of mental abuse? It must be some kind, maybe just not physical? Eh?
I'm so glad you saw my mistake! I meant that hell on earth for your husband. Yes, I know all about that kind of pain! I have lived with it for many years, and yes, there was times I thought, and even tried suicide. This pain is like no other, it is a constant agony! The bad thing is; there isn't much they can do for chronic nerve pain like your hubby and I suffer with!!! I am waiting for a pain pump, I think your hubby could benefit from one, also? What the pain pump does, or is supposed to do is; block the pain from entering your brain. I looked on line for one, and for anyone who has one. There are soo many success stories, it has me wanting one now, not later!
Try this link; www.tamethepain.com/safety-drug-delivery
Or, just type in pain pump? Look for any users, or comments at the bottom of the page, or type in "comments" in the search box, it should give you some useful answers from actual sufferers? Once I had read about a dozen or so, I was all for it!!! Anything to get me off these narcotic drugs, would be agreeable to me! If I were you I would be looking into something like this, just in case the worst happens, you know? You have the health insurance now, why not put it to good use? Oh, and I agree with your hubby, why not keep working as long as you can? Anything that can distract you from the agony, you do! Once he gets to the point where I was, and can't get hired no where, he, like me, would be in more intense agony from sitting around all day with nothing to do but sit and feel the pain!!! Yeah, it sucks!!! Work till you can't, or your employer fires you.
As far as your dad goes, I am with your uncle! Your dad needs help, he acted out for some reason, what is it? It surely cannot be because your mom was acting like a crazy bitch, no, in that case I am sure he would have helped her, not hurt her? Right? My ex-wife acted like a crazy bitch for a long time, I never hit her with my hands, let alone a baseball bat! Nope, something caused your dad to snap out, and act like a crazy basturd, what was it? Like your uncle, wouldn't you like to know the reason for it? If it was my dad, I would do whatever it took, to get to the bottom of this! Perhaps you should run this by your siblings? Ask them, then decide what to do.
I hope you guys find the causes for these actions, and can find the proper help for your mother and father?!!! Sending all of my good vibes to you in hopes they help!!!
I hope your family can at least try to have a normal, and happy Thanksgiving? Please try to, for your moms sake?
Well, since the novel is about my heroic actions while serving in Korea, (not in the war, though. LOL!) I will be o.k. with this leave of absence.
By the way, I bought some of that perspective. Just be careful of the chocolate kind, it has had some hallucinogenic problems associated with it.
Okay, that is my joking way of saying things when I'm sad.
I hope you find everything you need, or want to do!!! I hope you will still check in with us once in a while? You know, to let us know you are still alive and kickin?
Please hurry back, I am missing you already!!!
Your bro, D.
P.S. Wait a cotton pickin second!!! Uncle D.??? Oh no you don't!!! That would imply I am an old man? Or, at least older? Why do I have to be the uncle, aunt Roh? R.O.F.L.M.A.O.!!! Bro D will suffice, don't you agree? S.L.M.A.O.!!!
I hope all is well? Hey, I must have a mind block going on? I don't know what left side menu there is, except for the home, discussions tips etc. etc. on the left of this page? So, where is it exactly? How do I find your e-mail?
Wow, that must be hell on your father? I have severe nerve damage in my neck, and it has killed all the nerves on my right side. It burns like hell constantly, and not even the pure morphine I take touches it. The Lyrica kinda helps, but not nearly enough. I am waiting on the V.A. to approve more surgery, I need another fusion surgery on my neck, and they want to put a pain pump inside me, also. Whoopee! NOT!
I know how your father feels, he feels the same kind of pain, maybe even worse than I do? All I know is this; if it weren't for the pain meds they give me, I would go insane!!! Perhaps that is what happened to your father? It might be possible? If I were you, I would make my father get a lawyer! A lawyer could make the state give him an evaluation, medical one, that is. If the doc thinks he might have snapped under the pain, he could get sent to a medical holding facility? That would be better for him, and it would easy your families minds.
A word of caution; if you don't find it withing yourself to forgive your father, that anger and resentment will fester in you, and it only makes YOU miserable, not your father. Please find a way to forgive him, it is only in your best interest. I know, I let that fester in me for years and years, and all it got me was, TROUBLE!!! I drank myself almost to death. I got into fights all the time. It was so difficult to love another person for me, until I found this site, and Dr. Leslie gave me the key to freedom. Sort of? My key was this: "To forgive is to decide to give up hope for a better past" by Jack Kornfield. It was my salvation!!! And I cannot thank Dr. Leslie enough for showing me that!!! Please try, it is for your benefit?!
I want to wish your mother a speedy recovery, and all of you a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Dude, the very first thing you need to do is look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you see a man, or a boy? If you answered man, well then, act like one and tell your parents what you want to do.
This is YOUR life to live, not theirs!!!
Set those boundaries in stone, and do not let them break them unless it is an emergency!!! Where ever you live, YOU are the boss under that roof! Unless of course, you live at home with mommy and daddy? In other words, take charge of YOUR life! If you go on vaycay, go, and tell the parents about it, and send pics after you get back!!! They do NOT need to take a vacay at your house, tell them NO!!! Stand up for yourself, YOU are a MAN!!!
I don't know about you, but if I felt like I had to work in a job I did not like, just to appease my parents, I would be extremely sad, and disappointed! You don't have to prove anything to them, you are an adult now! And, they most certainly do not need to know how much you earn, nor how much you have in your savings account!!! Just tell them you make enough to support yourself, and a family if you so choose! Let that be enough, if they pry, gently tell them it is your business, not theirs!
Don't feel guilty!!! That is exactly what they want you to feel, so they can maintain control over you. It is psychological control, I think?
If you are having trouble telling your parents to leave, gently, or maybe sternly, suggest they take a hotel room, and that you will be glad to pay for it?! If need be, insist on it, and stick to that decision! Inform them once more of the importance of these conference calls. Then ask them once again if you can help them vacay from a hotel room, and to come see you at night, or when you set the time?! Parents, especially when they start getting old, they want to cling to you as if they may never see you again. Most of them overcome that feeling and try to enjoy the rest of their lives together? Your parents will too, if you gently push them in that direction.
Remember now, stand up for yourself, no one else will.
Thanks for asking for our help, and please keep us informed of how things go for you. We sure would appreciate it! Good luck to you!!!