You do not have to thank me, i just want you as my friend! What would i do without you here? We used to have such wonderful discussions a while back, what has changed since then? If you are on medication, i hope you are telling your doctor about these harmful thoughts? I don't want to lose another friend!!!
Again Deb, i love what Roh says!!! Have you read her posts to you? THAT is exactly what you deserve! Roh cares for you, also! And Dr. Becker-Phelps does too!!! And of course Sluggo, he also wants to be your friend! You see? You really do mean something to all of us, and i am sure your family does also?! Look, your sister has come around, the rest will also! It may take some time, but they will?! You are someone to us, someone we respect, and admire for your deep seated love for others! You said to me that; you care very deeply about all of us. You even felt sorrow for you believing that you had made me feel bad? You did not, could not make me feel bad Deb, you are a way too kind hearted soul. You may not want us in your head, and that is cool, but, you already have us in your heart, as we do you!!! We all care very deeply for you, Debbie!!! Please let us at least try to help you? Can you tell us what is bothering you so much? What could it be, that it would drive you to think of hurting yourself??? It has to be something very bad, or very dark, but please let us try to help you, you are our friend, and we are supposed to help you, but we want to out of love, and friendship!!! (Please forgive run on sentence above.) LOL!!!
Deb, we are friends, like it or not, we want to help you! Won't you let us at least try? I hope you do, i miss our conversations from before!!!
I tried to get back on last night, but one thing after the other came up, so, i got nothing done. I tried most all afternoon yesterday, trying to find a tire to match the one i found earlier? No such luck. So, again i get to go wondering around the junk yard looking for a needle in a hay stack, sort of?! LOL!!!!
I'm glad you have fun times with your son, i wish i could, also, but both of my kids live in Colo, Spgs, Co. So no, i don't get much of any type of time with them?! That was one of the reasons i decided to go into debt to buy a decent vehicle to travel in. Then, wouldn't you know it, it had to break down on me, forcing me to refi at a slightly higher rate. Thats ok, as long as i can find the gas money to go see them? Oh, and i am not having surgery, or recovery going on?! LOL!!!
Your lunches sound wonderful?! Something i am starting on again! I gained so much weight this winter, since i hurt my back while (vacuuming) lifting an extreme amount of weight?! LOL!!! Yep, while vacuuming! I was bent down low, trying to get way back under the kitchen table, when i had to slide a chair out of the way. Well, i grabbed the leg, and lifted, and the next thing i knew, was extreme pain, bad enough to knock me down!!! I laid under that table for an hour, before i dared move. Then, when i did, it was horrible, but i had to get out from under there! Yea, that one was a killer! I still hurt from it, and that was what? Four months ago? Wow, today is the day, wait, no its not, i have to find that tire?! Then i can concentrate on muscles! I can't believe how fast you can lose muscle tone?!
Well, i have to get a move on. Please take good care of yourself! We shall talk more later!!!
Thank you for coming back! You know how much we miss talking to you! I totally love what Roh has to say!!! She is absolutely right! You have the right to be here as much as anyone else!!! Defy those that have abused you, by standing up to them by staying alive in spite of what they may like, or want?!!! YES, YOU CAN DO THIS!!! AND YOU WILL DO THIS!!! Do what Roh suggested, talk it out with us, or write it down, sing it, or SCREAM into a pillow? What ever you find that helps the most, do that! I hope its talking to us, cause we all like you, Deb!!! We don't judge here, that is for the snobs out there! In here, we are safe to talk about anything you want to talk about?! You can let lose your demons, Debbie, but it is all up to you?! I hope you want to talk it out with us, your friends, not someone who despises you?!!!! We, all of us here, care about how you feel, and what you have to say?! You can say anything you like, here, safe with those that DO CARE FOR YOU!!!
Debbie, i hope you know how bad, how scared you make me feel when you talk like this? I know you hate living right now, but things can get better, i know that from experiencing it myself!!! I mentioned this a long time ago, i tried to commit suicide twice, luckily for me, someone intervened on my behalf. I met a counsellor who knew what she was doing, and she steered me in the right direction. You need that right now! You need someone who knows, someone who has been there/done that! I have, so will you talk to me? If not me, then i hope you can talk to Dr. Leslie??? It will be alright with me! All i want, all any of us here want, is for you to feel happy again, to enjoy the good, and beautiful things in your life, to enjoy living, again!!!!!!!!
We are here for you, Deb.! I hope you will accept our extended hands, grasp them for all you got, we will not let go, i hope you won't either?! Allow us to be here for you. I really hope you do?!!!
Deb., i have to go talk to the others on this board, and another, so, my time is over, for now, but i will be back!!! You can count on it!!!
LOL!!! You never fail to make me laugh, thank you!!! And yes, you are sooooo right, any time we can drag our butts outta bed, is a good day! Well, maybe not, in my case, anyway? LOL!!!
I just got off the phone with my pain Doc., he talked to me about the failed fusion, and said he needed an x-ray, i told him they took one last week, and told me they would send you a copy. They never did, of course! I have to go back up to the V.A. hospital again on the 24th., yippee? Then i suppose Doc. Hof will talk to me some more about what we will have to do? Dreading that talk!!! I already know i have to have surgery on it once again, only this time, its from the back of the neck?! Ouch!!! She (the Surgery nurse?) told me i would have to redo it, and from the back, and how it would hurt worse that the last one. Hurt worse? How is that possible? I felt like i was beaten down with baseball bats the last time!!! I don't think anything can top that? I dreaded having to move, just sitting still was an agony! Worse, O.M.G.!!! NNnooooooooooooooooo!!! (sorry, for screaming)! LOL!!!
Well, i suppose that's about it? Time to get some others done. I hope you have a very nice day at work today!!! Talk to you later.
I am so sorry to have missed you!!!! I have been extremely busy myself! Just today, i had to drive all the way to Sioux Falls S. Dak. What a long, windy ride that was! I was fighting the wind the whole way, both ways, LOL!!! Anyway, i am here now, and i hope you will come back and talk to me? Or, you can talk to one of your other friends here? If you really need to lay something out, ask Dr, Becker-Phelps for help?! We are here for YOU, do you hear me? Talk to me, talk to someone! We want to help, if we can?!
I am glad your sis finally came around, its about time!!! In time, you will come to love your sister, you need to love yourself first! Why must you keep all that crap alive in your head??? You don't have to, you know? You can let bygones be bygones!!! Empty that pain from the brain!!! Then, you can once again enjoy loving your family, be with them, and know in your heart that you did all you could, then just let it drop! Whatever remains in that brain of yours, get rid of it, start a new chapter in your life, one filled with love, and joy!!!
This is all attainable Debbie, all you have to do is let it go! Let yourself love yourself, then, you can start to love the other members of your family, one by one!!! I know you have the strength to do this! You just don't want to, you want to hold all that nonsense in your head. Do you like the feel of pain? I know i don't, but i have to live with it every day, 24/7/365!!! Not in my mind, but in my body, yes! I asked for help here, and i got it, you can to!!! Even Dr. :Leslie helped me a great deal, so much so, i can never thank her enough, or repay her for her time?! That's ok, she gets where we are, and still wants to help! I know she hurts when ever you talk to us, and so do i, and everyone else here!!! We all want to help you get rid of that anger, resentment, what ever your negative emotion is?! Please, Debbie, you are scaring me!!! Let us help! If i can come around, so can you!!!
You can untrap yourself, get rid of your flashbacks, or at least learn how to deal with them?! Come on, Deb., let us, your friends help, please??? We can take them one by one, how ever you want to do it, ok? Fast, or slow, we can do it together!!!
Sorry, i have been extremely busy the last few days! Helping my breo get his bike, helping a good friend of ours move, and today, i had to go to the V.A. hospital for x-rays on my left knee, and both wrists. Busy busy!!!
I hope you are well? I guess i am as well as i can be? I am still freaking out about that failed fusion. I stopped and talked to one of my (male nurse's?) appointment setters, and told him, so he is supposed to tell Dr. Hof about that, and he is supposed to call me sometime tomorrow?! I have to go back up there on the 24th, see the Doc.?! Great, another two hundred and some mile round trip, yippee?
I hope you did have fun with your son!!! The more one on one time you can get with them, you want to take advantage of it when possible!!! I would love some one on one with my kids!!!
Well, i am beat! That was one long ride today, and i am going to bed early! LOL!!! Have an enjoyable evening, tonight!!! I hope you sleep well, and have sweet dreams!!!
Ha, ha, ha, you had me cracking up! Full moon madness??? Is that right? LOL!!! Gotta love that! But no, the full moon has no effect on me, unless its the un-clothed moon you mean? Then yes, i have always been a "Moon Man"!!! A Moon Man, and a low headlight kinda guy! I.Y.G.W.I M.??? (if you get what i mean?) I have always been a fan of small and perky!!! Oh yeah!!!
Oh yes, i know what you mean! California always gets screwed, it has been that way for a long time, now! Not sure why? Wash. St. is the same, as is D.C. and Virginia. Florida might be in there, also? The whys and hows i do not know? It may be the price you pay for the ocean front properties, also? The rich has finagled the taxes down to the lesser peoples, the basturds!!! No wonder they keep getting richer, and the poor population grows??? Damn our government, damn them to hell!!! Sorry! I just can't stand how our government has been bought off?!
Wow, your weather cools, while ours climbs? Awesome!!! I would like some 70's myself?! Thats enjoyable weather, once you hit the mid 80's, its time to hide inside, right in front of the A/C!!! OUCH!! LOL!!!
Ok, i had better get this day going, i have played long enough! LOL!!! I will try to come back later, but who knows what can happen, right? So, i shall see you later, hopefully?! Take good care, and don't work too hard, its FRIDAY!!! Yippee!!!
I am so glad to hear from you!!!!! I wish you could have stayed a little longer, though? We hardly ever get to talk any more? I miss you when you stay away! We all do!!!
You never have to live in the shadows here! I hope you know that? No friend of ours ever has to live in shadows!!! We know you face many challenges, but all of us here, wish you would let us help, even if its only a little?!
I also agreed with you the last time, and i still do! I like a lot of what Sluggo has said! You do need to get this off your chest, so to speak?! If this is something that bothers you this much, then it is important that you make her aware of it?! No, you cannot change who your mother is, but she is your mother, and therefore, you have to show her some respect also. What she did was wrong, and she needs to own up to that, so that she gets your bounderies!!! This is/was your apartment at that time, and when she came to stay, she was a guest in YOUR home, NOT HERS!!! Therefore, she is the one who stepped over YOUR boundery, and she should at the very least, apologize to you?!
You cannot keep going on like this, or it will eventually destroy what love you do have for your mother! Therefore, i feel it is imperative that you set your mom down, explain this to her, tell her how this has hurt you, and that she, as a guest in your home, has to abide by your rules/bounderies. And, when you are in her home, the same thing applies! Then, tell her you would like an apology for crossing those boundaries, and promise you she will not do that ever in the future!
I fear you are going to give yourself ulcers? Let it go in your own mind, it will only drive you mad! Seek your apology, but let it go for your own sake! Then, once you get that apology, all will be right in your world!
I hope something one of us says, will strike a chord in you, and help you out?!
Hope you are ok? I'm the same. Nothing ever changes for me, its the same dull routine every day, usually! Sometimes, change is good?
You get to go to your sisters house to do laundry? Must be nice! I suppose my bro wouldn't mind, his wife might, at least a little? No, it would cost me more to go up there when I need to wash clothes.
I stopped to get some gas yesterday, it was $3.49 a gallon. Just the day before, it was $3.40. How does this government allow us to suffer like this? Its all the rich controllers, that's why! The rich have taken over our government, and they are fighting tooth and nail to stay in our Reps, and Senators pockets! Even Obama learned who owns our government real fast! He was slapped upside the head with money as soon as he walked through the White House doors!!! Now, all those promises he made, were just like what every poll says, ALL LIES!!! They lie to ya to get voted in, then lie like all the rest, just to stay in, its a nice cushy job. Who wouldn't like to work a hundred and a handful of days a year, and be paid swell? Its all a lie anymore! Nothing is done to help the middle class, and everything is done to hurt the poor more and more!!! The rich are after a two class America; the rich, and the poor! Something is going to boil over real quick here, I hope you have a good spot to hide in? The defacation is about to hit the oscillating motivator! When it does, it will be hell to pay!
Yesterday it was warm, today it has cooled back down some. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Well, I suppose I have bent your ear enough, I shall go for now!
Take care my friend! I hope you stay well, always!
The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.
Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.