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Every time she says he hit her, I never have seen any marks, no damage what so ever. I think she just wants the attention? She is an extreme alcoholic. He does smoke pot once in a while, but he only has a couple of beers when we B.B.Q., that's it. I suppose you could call her a "Drama Queen"? She seems to thrive on drama?
I guess they will marry, I wish they would just go their separate ways, and leave me out!!!
Take care!
DennisView Thread

I think most of us do, in fact, learn from our mistakes. Those that don't, are destined to repeat those same mistakes in the future. That is not YOU!!! You do learn from mistakes, even I can see that!!! I gleened that from most of your responses to others here, and myself.
You don't need to beat yourself up. Relax, let those mistakes waft through your mind, learn the lesson there, then let it waft on out into the ether!!!
Roh, you are one of the smartest people I know, let it go. Please stop torturing yourself, please, its not healthy. Who said you need to change your behavior based on the past? You told me that, the past is just that, your past! Take your own advice. If no one likes you for who you are today, it is their loss!!!
I wish you Peace!!!
DennisView Thread

DennisView Thread

I would like to try that tho, see if it worked or not?
Thanks again!!!
DennisView Thread


First, you need to sit him down, preferably in a quiet place, then calmly, and rationally, explain your problems. You must make sure he "HEARS" what you are saying, not just going along with you. You must tell him, in no uncertain terms, how this makes you feel. Just like you did in your post. Tell him that, you feel like the four year old who's little sibling just came home. Make sure he understands that, YOU are the one he's supposed to care about, not his cousin!!!
I don't know what you mean about the house, but I get the feeling that you didn't like it to begin with? That is another sticky point to bring up. You have to, though. If you ever expect him to listen to you, you will have to make yourself very clear!
Also, if he is having problems with saving money, you need to explain to him that, OUR future depends on OUR saving today!!! You didn't say if you had savings accounts or not? But, you need to impress upon him, the need for them, NOW.
In other words, YOU need to lay down the law on his happy ass!!!
Good luck!!!
DennisView Thread

Fun, only in your wildest imagination!!! There is no fun in hurting another!!! And in this case, you are hurting TWO other's!!! Fun, sure it is, in your own selfish mind!
As far as I am concerned, YOU are less than human, you are sub human in your thinking!!! You never even gave your husband a chance, totally selfish behavior!!! I can't stumache people like you!!! My first, and only wife, (so far) cheated on me, without so much as a peep, and I considered her as less than human, also. I have forgiven her now, I had to, in order to let go of this anger, and resentment I held for her for over twenty five years. How long do you think your husband will hate you???
How long do you think your husband will hate, and resent you???View Thread

How ya doin??? Long time no see! (Sorta) Thanks for the advice! You are spot on with it! And, that is exactly what I will do from now on! I've let my demons go, thanks to Dr. Leslie, and her link to a post!!! It was amazing to feel the weight of the world slip from my shoulders!!! I am truly free now! Happy camper once again! LOL!!!
Now, if only I can find a lady willing to stick around longer than a fourth date? LOL!!! The last one, was a quick one to say the least. We dated for three days, then slept together on the fourth, then nothing!!! She wouldn't even return my phone call. I only called once, I won't beg anyone! Even her friends think she's nuts for dumping me. Isn't that a hoot??? Maybe next time???
Yep, its a new me!!! I almost can't even remember what it was like to feel depressed? This is awesome, to say the least!!! And, I have my friends here to thank, along with Dr. Leslie!!!
I am soooooooooooo appreciative for you guys!!! Thank you, all!!!!
DennisView Thread

Thanks, I couldn't ask for a better friend! What you say is so true. I've let go of my demons, now. I'm happy once again.
I was a wild one, too. LOL!!!
Thanks again, take care!!!
DennisView Thread

This just happened to me two days ago. My friends fiancé called me, she told me that my buddy had hit her again, and cussed her out, called her fat and lazy. (Which she is, unfortunately)
I listened to her patiently, like always, and told her I felt for her, but left it at that. After she vented some more, I told her that if worse comes to worst, she could come stay with me, till she sorted things out. She thanked me, then hung up, nothing happened, situation normal.
I did what you described without even thinking about it. Usually, I try to fix all situations. Men are hard wired that way. And try as I might, if I don't stop to think, I will try to fix it. The other night, I must have been tired, or just tired of hearing the same thing from her? I don't know?
I will have to be more contious of my wanting to help, and try to just listen, and be there for them!!! Give them my sympathy, and leave it at that, unless they ask for more. Perhaps I could practice this on these boards? Who know's, I may yet become a better man?
Thank you, Dr. Leslie, that was a wonderful, thought provoking topic!!!
DennisView Thread
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