Don't worry Deb, we would know you from any one of your e-mail designations! You are our good friend, our sister here at Web.M.D.!
I sure would like to hear how you are, what have you been up to, you know, those kinda of things? You know, like; hey how are ya, long time no see? Me? Oh, i am still hangin round, you know, just to pester everyone here? LOL!!! Those sorts of things? How have you been? Me? Oh, you know, same ole same ole!!! LOL!!! Now stop it, Debbie, you got me goin now! See how you are? Always gettin me goin? Always trying to make me laugh!
Sure Deb, i'm just funnin ya! I do wish you could put in more, like the things above, at least? You know, the hi how are ya, routine? LOL! It does sound funny, doesn't it? But that is only because I worry about you?! We all worry about you, we want you to enjoy yourself. We want you to want to come here, be around when we need you? What am I saying? We need you here, all the time! We all like you, Debbie, and we want you to join our "Reindeer Games"!!! Yepper, you heard right, our fun and games here, in our little community! O.k., so it may not be all fun and games, we do, however, want to help everyone that comes here, and you could be a big help if you were around. You already know that!
While its true, you cannot change the past, you can shape your future. Holding on to that anger, and bitterness will only hurt you. You have to let it go. You have to be strong. For yourself, if for no other.
I held on to my anger and bitterness for so many years. It turned me into another person. Hate consumed me, anger ruled my life. I tried to drink myself to death, the drugs, the whole nine yards. I would pick fights with guys twice my size, hoping one would kill me, and put me out of my misery.
I found out later, that I needed to empathize with, and forgive my mothers murderer. Once I did that, a great weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I feel alive once again. You should try that with your mother, empathize with her. See if you can feel what she felt, when she left you? Can you see why she did what she did? Who knows, maybe you would have done the same thing, if it had been you, instead of your mother???
You can forgive someone, you will never forget. But you can be happy, and free of that anger, and resentment. I hope you find it in your heart, to forgive your mother. By doing so, it will release you.