Roh is right..you need to walk away once and for all and not look back. Read your own post, and do it over and over again until it sinks in what he has done to you..get angry, be upset, do whatever it takes to help you walk away and realize that you are worthy of being happy again and deserving of a better life! He is never going to change! He will say and do anything to control you, and as long as you let him, you are pretty much saying this is acceptable and okay. So far he has proven to you that he can't change time and time again, and not only that, he proved that he doesn't love you. Love is not abuse. Do yourself a favor and move on..you need it and you know it. This can't be love you have for him, you are just accustomed to him and familiar and that is what scares you out of leaving. Like you wished for yourself to go back and be happy and content before you met him, you can do that after him too!! Good luck and best wishes to you! Please keep us posted!View Thread
First of all, her weight doesn't matter. And who in their right mind thinks that gaining thirty pounds is a huge deal, or makes anyone unattractive! So don't go telling this woman that this is her mistake..bad advice on your part! Second, who are you to say that men don't think about sex once they reach their 40's?? First I have heard about that...they are men for crying out loud! Third, I am sure that she has proof that he is talking to other women. Yeah, sounds like he really loves her a lot just by the emotional and verbal abuse.. Wow Anon _250579, where do you get this stuff from?!! Where did you get that he works and provided her a good home, provides her love, and all the other crap that you are pulling out of nowhere?!! Trust and respect him, and worry about spoling the relationship, Anon_250579, I think this jerk already spoiled things a long time ago for her!! You give the worst advice, and like others have said, you obviously don't comprehend what people are saying...
As far as the original OP goes, you need to get out of this unhealthy relationship. He is never going to change..plain and simple. You deserve better and you know it.View Thread
I think maybe the reason that you are finding yourself getting a bit jealous is because he has a bond with this woman through their child. Not saying he has feelings for her, or anything of that nature, but they will always be connected in that sense. It doesn't help that you see old pictures of her on his mom's Facebook, but then again, he has no control over what his mom posts, or has on Facebook either. I have been in your shoes, and I can understand the jealousy. It's not that you want to be, but sometimes you can't help it. I know that my issues stemmed from my ex not making a commitment to me, and he was married to his ex that he had kids with. Is there anything else going on in the relationship? Are you having any problems?View Thread
I have been great..thanks for asking : ) I stopped talking to the man I was referring to in my earlier posts, and have moved on with my life. Was single for a while, and then met someone unexpectedly, and we have been dating ever since. We are taking things one day at a time, and so far, things have been wonderful. I look back on things with my previous relationship, and kind of have to ask myself what I was thinking, and then again, we all kind of experience things like that. Live and learn right?
I did have a great Xmas and New Year's and hoping that 2013 brings lots of good things my way! How was yours?View Thread
It's good that you expressed your feelings to him, and that you both talked about it, but it sounds to me that things weren't taken too seriously if it just went back to being the same old thing only after trying for a while. It takes continuous effort, and not just a few date nights, or a few weeks of trying something different to work on your relationship, and most definitely takes effort and commitment on both parts.
As far as the engagement thing, that didn't sound stupid. I think some are just caught up in the idea of being engaged or getting married, that sometimes we tend to look past, and also forget, about the problems and issues in the relationship. After the excitement has died down, you realize that there are issues that need to be addressed, and getting engaged/married are not going to solve them.
If you don't mind me asking, how is your sex life? Is there still a physical attraction there?
I guess you need to ask yourself if this is what you want and if it is worth it to you to work on this marriage/relationship, and is he also willing to do the same, and actually stick to his promises by working on it continuously and not giving up after a while.View Thread
Does he know that you are feeling, and have felt this way for some time now? If you felt this way before you got married, then may I ask why did you go through with the wedding? How is your relationship otherwise (overall)? I am asking because there wasn't much information provided in your post, and I guess it would be nice to get a better understanding of your relationship in general and why you are feeling the way you do before offering any advice.View Thread
I can't truly understand how you feel because I have never been in your situation, I can only try, so I apologize for telling you not to feel embarrassed. Just from following this thread, and listening to everything you have had to say, I would never cast judgement, so that is why I said what I did.
You're right, it wasn't a choice you have made in life, so I guess admire was the wrong choice of words...View Thread
Well, from the many accomplishments, what many talents you have, and just by the sounds of it, I would be intimidated by you myself. Not many people can say that they have had the chance or opportunity to experience some of the things that you have. Even though it may be intimidating, it would definitely be good conversation. (at least it sounds interesting to me). I really didn't mean to make it sound like you are just an "exhibit" by saying that.
I think it would be helpful for you to figure out a way to stop overthinking things so much..when you start to question things, or start to read to deep into something, stop yourself and start to think about something else, or get up and do something and keep busy. I started this about a month ago, and it has done wonders for me. I would drive myself crazy by overthinking, and reading way too much into the silliest of things and making it a bigger issue than of course it was...I was stressing myself out and causing anxiety. I would misinterpret an email, a text, or what someone was saying to me, etc., and I would repeat it over and over in my head wondering what they meant by it. Or I would sit and think about things and wonder what I could have done differently..the what ifs, etc..I was driving myself mad...I needed to stop, and I did. I have regained lost self esteem and confidence, and I am able to think much more clearly. I used to think I was socially awkward, and that has faded as well.
Opening up more to a therapist or a good friend, someone you have confidence in and can trust, would be good for you...and there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed.View Thread