I agree with what the others have said in regards to discussing past relationships, or your relationship history. I personally have not made it a point or a topic to sit and discuss where they have come from, or what experiences they have had, because I don't want to know. The past is the past, and it's just that. While there are certain things that you both can discuss at some point in time, it's just not something that most care to hear about. Like FCL said, prepare yourself in advance if someone should ever try and pry for information.
I wouldn't count the dating sites...I have done the same with no luck. Anytime I would try and connect with someone, I wouldn't get a response either (and I really don't think that I am a bad looking person, and my profile wasn't bad either)..I think that's just the way those sites go. Besides, I personally don't think that is a good way to meet people anyways, as I have tried many sites with no success. Just be yourself..you never know where or when you are going to meet someone that you are going to connect with.
You're right..there is no "perfect" woman, because that doesn't exist, but there is a "perfect" woman for you. As far as the musician thing goes, well I would have been intimidated, or assumed that you had plenty of women falling at your feet considering that you were front and center, and just because well, you are a musician (and a good looking one at that). Have you ever thought that women might be intimidated by you? Your good looks, intelligence, career, etc? You would be surprised as to what others are thinking...but I think you tend to overthink the situations. I do/did the same..but I have learned to take control of that when it does happen, and it has made a huge difference in my thought process.View Thread
I'm sorry, I should have made it a little bit more clear... I wasn't implying that you go around telling people that you are a virgin. And you are correct, others would have no reason to think that you are any different, for example, as those you work with. I was just referring to the ones who did know.
I can understand you have intentions of having a simple arrangement with a call girl, you both get what you want, no mind games and such, but in a sense, I think that there is much more to it than that, and please call me out if I am wrong, but for me, a sexual experience is much more than just a sexual experience, and I can see that being much more, especially being the first time. For me, it's an emotional connection and a way for me to feel close to someone...I can't just look at sex as just that...sex. Some people can, and that is perfectly okay too. It's what works for you.
I have felt for years that there was something wrong with me, and that I wasn't good enough, but again, it's not all me, and I am glad that I have come to that realization. I have become angry over the years as well, but there is no reason for me to keep feeling that way, as it's only going to hold me back. I haven't settled for anything, any less than I deserve, as angry as I have gotten and as not good enough as I have felt.... I still look at love and marriage as being sacred, as many don't these days...as one once said, it's no longer till death do we part, it's until I don't like you anymore...well not for this woman..and that's why I am holding out.View Thread
Ok, I am going to take a stab at this and reply...I agree with a few others on here when they say that there may be some deep rooted issue that needs to be resolved. There may be reasons that for 15 years, all of these women have been not interested or rejecting you, or you feel they're rejecting you...any maybe it's just a matter of it's not you, it's them, and the fact that you both are not compatible, or it's just a matter of bad timing. It could be a number of possibilities. I find myself in the same boat, on numerous occasions, and often blame myself for it happening over and over again. But one thing I have come to terms with, is it is NOT always me, and that I can't sit there and overthink the situation...I just need to move on. While most people do not want to be rejected, and do not take rejection well, it is something that happens, it's a part of life, you need to learn to deal with it. I think it would be great to sit down and talk with a therapist. It may help to get someone else's perspective on things.
One thing I guess I do not understand is that you say you don't want a girlfriend, and that you are content with being single, then why does this bother you so much? If your intention is to have an experience with a call girl, then do so, and call it a day, but deep down, I don't think that is what you really want.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you, I think it is the people that you are surrounding yourself with, and the women that you choose to approach. I also think that people are initimidated by the idea of you being a virgin, and that is not a bad thing. I personally think it is great, and I give you credit for that...I admire you for it. Not many people can say that. If I were you, I would hold out and not do the call girl thing for the experience, I would hold out for the woman that you choose to be with, and the woman that is worthy of you. It is going to be the greatest experience when it does happen, and especially with someone that means something to you. I don't think that you should have that first experience with a call girl that does not mean anything. You really do sound like a great person, and I think that any woman would be lucky to have you. You sound very responsible, independent, intelligent, and confident in what you do, and believe it or not, those are a hard combination of qualities to find in one person. Not to sound conceited, but I feel that I posess those qualities as well, and you should be proud of that. The confidence that you have in yourself shows on the outside, and people of the opposite sex are attracted to that. I don't think that buying a Corvette will attract a woman, and if it does, it's only going to attract the wrong kind of woman. I always thought that I was cursed as well because of the things I have been through relationship wise, and here I am again..struggling....but I am starting to realize that it's not me, it's the people that I surround myself with...like I said, I think that is part of the problem for you as well.
Keep your head up, and do what you feel is right for you. Don't settle for any less than you deserve, and don't be so hard on yourself. Things happen for a reason, at least that is what I believe. I know it's not easy to listen to others tell you that the "right one" will come along for you..heck, I am tired of hearing that myself. I have learned to live alone and be single, and I am content with it for now, but then again, it would be nice to have a partner to share my life with too. Best of luck to you...View Thread
I meant no disrespect at all, but I know you deserve better. I am not calling what you have fake by any means, or saying that your feelings are not valid...and you do not need to justify yourself, or your situation to me. I am just suggesting that you think about things and ask yourself if this is what you really want, and are you willing to wait. I have been in a long distance relationship before, and I understand..it's not easy. You are only 25 years old, and you have a long life ahead of you...there is a whole world out there waiting for you, so don't limit yourself. Take care and good luck in whatever it is that you decide to do. I wish the best for you : )View Thread
I agree with FCL, drop this guy! Honestly, what is this man doing for you that you are still hanging on to this "relationship"? You live in two different states, which right there would be enough for me to call it quits since we would never see each other, and speaking of never seeing each other, how do you know whatis going on in his daily life? You can't possibly carry on a long distance relationship for five years without knowing where it is going. I would have ended it a long time ago... because after a few years if there was no commitment, I would have cut my losses and moved on. I think he has proven to you that you are not a priority, and you are also young enough to pick up the pieces and move along. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Good Luck!View Thread
As far as the romance goes, and the connection, you need to figure out how to connect with him..on all levels, and vice versa. I read a great book not too long ago that really gave me some good insight..it was called 'The Five Love Languages". It is a truly wonderful book, and like I said, gives some great insight on how to find your love language, as well as your partners. I think this would be a great book for you, and your partner, since you are having troubles relating to one another. I really couldn't believe how much I got out of this book, and what an eye opener it was for me. It truly did make a lot of sense, and I was able to make some personal changes because of it.
As it always comes down to people recommending, the only other option would be to go to couples therapy. Sometimes it's nice to get a third party perspective, and especially from someone that doesn't know you, your situation, and cannot point fingers or judge. It sounds to me like you are really giving this relationship everything you have, and that's really all you can do...but is he also trying just as hard as you are to make this work?View Thread
Hi there...First of all, don't EVER blame yourself, or your body image on anything!! That is your first mistake. Second, I would never stay with a man that feels the need to cheat on me, twice mind you, but that's just me. And lastly, to completely disregard you and your daughter, to play video games with the roommate, sounds like this "boy" has a lot of growing up to do, and needs to get his priorities straight. He needs to appreciate what he has in front of him, before it's too late, and you also need to think about the situation you're in before time passes you by my friend, and you start to think back on the life you could have had.
I am not trying to tell you what to do, and most certainly am not trying to be rude by any means, but I have been there before, and look back on the situation and wish I had gotten out sooner, a lot sooner than I did. You deserve all the happiness that life has in store for you, and I would hate to see you put in the effort and time that this man does not seem to want to put back into you, or hasn't put back into you. But, if you really want to try, and I can understand that you have already put in 7 years of your life, then you need to tell him how you feel, sit down and talk, and go from there. That's where I would start. You need to get together, alone, and really lay it all out there, till there is nothing more to say. Communication is the key, and from the sounds of it, there doesn't seem to be a very good foundation in the relationship when it comes to that aspect. People drift apart, and sometimes at that point, it's time to move on, but like I said, if you are willing to put in that effort, then that is what you should do. I wish you and your lil one the best of luck. You deserve a life full of love and happiness. Take Care!View Thread
Thanks D! I would give the shirt off of my back for anyone..it's just how I have always been. I love being able to help people in any way that I can, or am able.... it makes me feel like I have a purpose, and it makes me feel good knowing I can help someone out, or bring a smile to their face.
Thank you for your kind words as well..I appreciate that! Makes me smile : )
That's great you met someone! Doesn't matter if you know right away if she is "the one" or not. I really question sometimes if "the one" really exists. I have felt so many different kinds of love, and thought at times that I had found that person (of course only to be hurt or disappointed in the end), but I know that the "right" person is out there. Sometimes that feeling isn't always present right away, or we don't always know, but either way, you really sound like a great person, and any girl would be lucky to have you as well. You have only been on one date, so keep an open mind and see where it goes. That's the excitement..the newness, getting to know each other, and seeing where things go!! I am excited for you : ). Definitely keep us posted!View Thread
Thank you for reaching out : ) ! That means a lot, and yes, the feelings that I have are starting to fade slowly, but surely. I am trying to stay positive, and do the best I can everyday. I am trying to surround myself with truly supportive people, and ones who understand, and also to "weed out" out the negativity that still remains. I think I am doing a pretty good job so far. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but I am trying a variety of things to pull myself away from the negative thoughts when they start to settle in, and also doing things to keep myself on track. Just have to remind myself and think of all the great things in life, including the small things : )View Thread
Oh hurtHeart, I feel for you, I really do. It is awful, and lonely to feel the way you do. To give yourself to someone, and not have them give the same in return, especially after so many years, and also to dedicate such a big part of your life to someone..well, that's just terrible, and heartbreaking. I am grateful for, and admire people like you, so caring and genuine, and yet so willing to keep going, to keep trying, and not give up even after all you have been through. Hang in there, as there is someone out there that will appreciate all that you have to offer and more, and most importantly, will love you for you.
I am also very self conscious around new people, but I think it's society that makes us that way. It's all over TV and magazines about how we should look, dress and act, and we get this image in our heads of how we think things should be, and that's what people expect. But don't ever change anything about yourself..keep being you. It's what sets you apart from everyone else, and makes you different and unique, and if that's what people consider "awkward" or "weird", so be it, and they are not worth your time in the first place. Like you said, you have to be a happy person, so learn to be happy with yourself, and that's when things will get better and fall into place.
I know that there is someone out there for all of us, and it may take a while for us to find love, but have fun along the way and live life and do what makes you happy, and what makes you smile. Some things fall apart so better things can fall together : )View Thread
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