You're more than welcome D! I think the kind of love that we are searching and yearning so badly for is the romantic kind, and it's not the kind that friends or family could ever give. I agree that it is easy to forget, and to appreciate sometimes when our vision is clouded with hopes and dreams of what our lives could be like if, and when we do find that romantic love we seek so desperately.
I too, do not want to live alone any longer, and also refuse to rush into anything, because God knows that I am not going to set myself up for anymore heartache or failure, and I have been through enough in my life to know exactly what I want, and what I will not put up with. I am content with being alone, but I am also at the point in my life that I am ready to share it with someone and to build a life with someone special.
Things have been going pretty well lately, and I am coming to realize a lot of things. While at times I feel socially awkward, I am starting to realize that it is not so much me, it is the people that I am surrounding myself with. I don't need to change anything about me at all...I just need to be myself, and if people can't accept and love me for me, well, then they are just not worth my time, and maybe something is wrong with them. I am a great person, with a good head on my shoulders, and I have a lot of love to give, and a lot to offer people in general. I have a lot of good qualities..I am loyal and genuine, and I think that is huge. Not to bragg, but I am tired of beating myself up thinking I am strange, or that there is something wrong with me, and that I need to fix things, etc...I am me, and that's ok, and I am starting to really accept that and accept being happy with ME. I don't need anyone's approval. Things are starting to turn around for me I am trying to stay positive, and also trying to stay focused. I just want to say thank you for your everyone's continued support! Thank you for listening and suggesting!View Thread
I agree with DfromSpencer..great advice. You two really need to sit down and talk this out until there is nothing more to say, and leave it at that. Let the past be the past. You both wanted things to work, or you wouldn't be together. In a sense, you are both living in the past, and it is preventing you from moving on, and from being in the happy and healthy relationship that you both deserve.
Relationships are tough, no one ever said it was going to be easy, but it's what you are both willing to put into it, and that takes effort from the both of you. If the two of you can't talk it out, or are having issues, I would suggest maybe seeking out the help of a therapist. Sometimes it is nice to get a third party persepctive on things as well. I hope that all goes well with the two of you, and I wish the both of you the best! Good Luck! : )View Thread
As far as the guy goes, well, I have actually figured out a few things about him, and I am glad I did. I have learned that he is not very good at communicating, and it seems that he only contacts me when he is lonely, which is when he is out of town working, then of course I am a convenience for him. It is one sided, and I am not going to get what I need, or what I deserve from this man. I just feel bad for his children, and how they feel. They shouldn't have to be subjected to a revolving door, much less, anything else when it comes to their father's relationships. I really feel for them, because they are really wonderful, and amazing kids, and I would have loved to be a part of their lives. But again, that is something that is out of my control, and that is his decision. I am going to tell this man that I do not want contact with him anymore, because it is only limiting my ability to move forward with my life, and to remain positive.
I have learned to vent my frustrations, and everything else in other ways, rather than venting to people, especially when I am lonely. I do read a lot of books, and have been focusing on mostly self help, and motovational books lately. I have been learning to try and pick myself up when the loneliness and negativity start to set in, and remind myself of the positive things in my life, and what I have to look forward to. I tend to also be an overthinker, in which I am working on breaking that habit, and the things I have been trying have been working pretty well. I really do try and keep my focus and stay busy, whether it be alone, or with people, and I always stay true to myself and who I am...I don't ever pretend to be something I am not, and that may be why I feel socially awkward at times because so many people do pretend. Sometimes I do get lonely though, and like I said in my previous posts, I feel so alone and like no one cares. It is hard to get out of that rut sometimes, but I really do try. I think that I am going to really focus on me for a while, and do what I need to do to get healthy and happy. I have always been fiercly independent, and I think that plays a big role in why I don't have many close friends or close family members. I have always learned to count only on myself, and not others because I have been nothing but disappointed most of the time. I have a hard time trusting, and letting people in, mainly because when I do, I get hurt.
I appreciate your feedback, as it was helpful and gave me some insight. Thank you : )View Thread
I am very sorry that things turned out the way they did, and I truly hope that you find someone someday that feels just as strongly for you. I follow a lot of threads on here, and I have read a lot of your replies to posts, and you seem like you are very genuine, caring, and you do also offer some great advice.
I believe that things happen for a reason, and also that what we experience in life, whether it be good or bad, prepares us for what's to come...what lies ahead. Love can do so many things..it can be the greatest gift of all, and it can also be disasterous. But I see it as a gift, and whether or not someone loves you back or feels the same, just be content that love grew in your heart, and that you have that ability to love so strong and intensely. Many people don't get that chance in life, and also don't have that ability. I have lost in love as well, many times, to the point where I am ready to throw in the towel. I never give up though, as there is that part of me that knows that the right person is out there, and that is what keeps me going. I know that I have a lot to offer, but after so many times of loving and losing, you tend to get to that point very quickly, and all seems hopeless. I can be alone, I have been for a long time, but I don't want to be.
Thank you for your support and your kind words, as I truly appreciate them. It's nice to know that someone out there cares, and will take time to listen, relate, and respond. I do feel very alone and unappreciated, and I am hoping that soon those feelings will fade. I think that I need to seek out help from my therapist, and really get to the bottom of what is causing me to feel the way that I do. It would be a good start anyways..because I cannot stand to feel like I do anymore.
I agree with you on the therapist thing, however, she has helped me to bring a lot of other things to light, and helped me to recognize things that I didn't necessarily see before. When you feel as if no one is acknowledging you already, seeing a therapist that isn't reaching out or helping in the areas that are really needed, or acknowledging all of your issues, makes it even worse, and also makes the feeling more intense. I think I might look for a new therapist, or at least let my current one know how I am feeling. Thank you for your reply and your concern. : )View Thread
In response to your concern, yes, I do generally feel isolated and without friends. I do talk to a therapist every now and then, but she really does not say much to me, she just more so listens, but will offer insight every now and then. So I guess I feel relieved for a little while, but then go back to feeling the way I do.
I have never really had many friends in my life, nor have I had really anyone that has been loyal or anyone really close to me. This includes family as well. My family is not very close, and I only have very few friends, but it is more of a convenience thing for them (so I should say acquaintances), and I guess you could say the same for my family. I feel socially akward at times, and I feel like a burden to people and I just plain feel that I don't have a place anywhere. I feel that I don't have anyone that genuinely cares about me, what I have to say, or what I do, and I don't think anyone would notice if I went on vacation and was gone for weeks at a time. That's how alone and insignificant I feel. My weekends consist of sitting at home and doing nothing....alone. I don't get phone calls from anyone, or a simple "Hey, how ya doin?", and whenever I try to reach out to anyone, I get nothing...no return call or text, no acknowledgement at all....and I take that very personally because of how I feel, and that makes me feel even worse. And whenever I do talk to someone about how I feel, or just anything I want to talk about, I don't get a response, I get a blank stare, or they just act like they are not interested or there is no genuine response...makes me feel like an idiot for even saying anything in the first place. I feel like I would get more of a response out of my dog at times.
I guess I am used to being used, abused, disregarded and forgotten about, and it's really taking it's toll on me. I have been through a lot in my short life, and it has made me strong in a lot of ways, but also has made me weak and fragile.
I am just at a point where I feel lost and confused, and I really don't know how to make it better. I don't want to hear the old "you need to get on some medication because you are depressed", or you need to talk to someone...I don't need medication, and I have been there and done that with no success, and some extreme sensitivities to those meds..plus, I already see a therapist. I don't know what more to do.View Thread
Over the last week or so, he has been contacting me, and says that he has had nothing but time to think, and he is sorry for the way that he handled things while he was gone out of town, and he realized what a mistake he has made by letting such a good thing go. He wants to get together this weekend and talk about things, and has literally begged me for another chance at a relationship, and to start over. He has told me that he misses me and my son, and thinks that what we have is real, and that we really have a shot at something great. I think we do as well, but at the same time, I am being very cautious, as I do not want to get hurt again, or to set myself up for failure, much less set him up for failure either because of the respect I have for him, and because of how much I care. He really does have a lot of great qualities, but then again, I can't ignore what happened either. I am not looking for justification for my actions, or looking for anyone to tell me that this is the right thing to do, or not to do, but this is more so a place for me to be able to vent since I do not have very many people to talk to, or many outlets..thanks again for listening. : )View Thread
Well, you tend to get used to the little things that quote on quote "bother" you about your significant other, and learn to respect your differences...after all, you need to be good at compromising right?...One thing that does drive me absolutely crazy, and it's not just what a significant other does, it's all people, is when people chew with their mouths open, and smack their food, or better yet, when they are chewing gum and smacking!!! I think it is absolutely disgusting and the sound of it drives me insane! There is nothing more disgusting and it makes me cringe...just even thinking about it does!View Thread
Well, I should have expected this, or should have known that it was too good to be true. Everything was going great until he told me that he had a female friend that he was going to see. It went from being a female friend, to an ex, and now she is a best friend, who mind you, is locked up in another state, and I was just supposed to understand and be ok with it. Everything was perfect before he left, but after he left, it was another story..no texts, no I miss you's..nothing. He was distant, and not his usual self. He made a comment to me that he felt that it had been happening all over again, the fact that his previous relationships did not work out because they could not accept the fact that he was friends with his ex, the fact that he wrote her, and also went to visit her. Well hello, what woman would be okay with that especially if you are not completely up front with her, and not only that, not being up front and giving that woman the option as to whether or not she wanted to pursue the relationship at that point! No woman wants to be second best, or an option, and definitely not placed on the back burner while you go see some ex girlfriend of yours thats in prison!!!
I should have seen it coming as I said, but you live and learn I guess right? These types of things is what makes me a stronger and wiser person, and just prepares me for the bigger and better things to come in my life. Right now I am taking this time to focus on me, and what I can do to make ME happy, and if it takes being single for a while, then so be it. At least I would rather be alone than unhappy, and to also not be someone's option. Makes me feel better to come here and vent my feelings and frustrations..thanks for reading and listening : )View Thread
Hi there...I myself have had my share of bad relationships, and trust me, I know how you feel. I have been single for a long time, got used to being single and actually enjoyed the "Me" time. I really focused on what was right for me, and really went through a lot of self improvement. I just recently met a great man, and my single days are over, and I am proud to say that I am the happiest that I have been in a very long time.
You can't worry about "letting a good one go" because you will be letting yourself settle for something that is not right for you, and you will end up not being happy when there is someone out there that is right for you, and when you meet that person, you will know.
Dating someone who has children is not an easy thing, although it has it's rewards as well. You have to learn to share your time, as it's not just you and him, it's all of you. That is a huge step for one, and it's something that you really need to think about and decide if it's something you are willing and ready to accept. It is always hard meeting the kids for the first time, but kids are a great judge of character too. Just don't try too hard, and be yourself if you do decide to pursue this and meet the kids.
As far as your dad goes, you are his daughter and he is just trying to look out for you, and as a parent, I can understand that. Sometimes it is not always what we want to hear, but they believe it is in our best interest. Maybe you should sit down and talk with your dad, and get his perspective on things, and also share yours. It can be a positive thing, don't go into it with a negative outlook. Try and see it from all perspectives.
As far as how you are feeling, you need to do what you feel is right. I would also suggest that you tell this man everything that you are feeling, and that you feel things are moving a little too fast. He needs to know before things go further, and before his feelings get any stronger, especially if you have any doubts whatsoever. Because of things you have been through, you are just throwing caution to the wind, and you want to take things slow, that is understandable, and there is nothing wrong with it. There is no need to rush, as you are young and have nothing but time. If you are not feeling this guy, and everything that is happening, this is probably not right for you. Don't settle, and listen you your instincts as they are never wrong. By the way, how long have you been seeing him?