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Relationships and Coping Community

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Well, easier said than done. When kids are involved, and with the prospects of a...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Well, easier said than done. When kids are involved, and with the prospects of a...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

For sure, my wife knows she's holding all the cards from a financila standpoint....

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive For sure, my wife knows she's holding all the cards from a financila standpoint....

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Thought I'd update...going on 2 1/2 years with no physical relationship with my...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Thought I'd update...going on 2 1/2 years with no physical relationship with my...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Actually, things are just on a steady pace, going nowhere. Too much stuff going...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Actually, things are just on a steady pace, going nowhere. Too much stuff going...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Wish I could say that I haven't tried this approach, but I have, Twice. First...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

Wish I could say that I haven't tried this approach, but I have, Twice. First time, admittedly, I got defensive real quick when she threw it all onto me as the reason we're not doing that well..I tried to justify what she was saying with a response of my own, and that was a mistake. She basically told me I could leave anytime I wanted, which kinda floored me. I learned the hard way I guess. In round two, I did indeed let her vent without any response on my part, I just let her have her say. I did acknowledge that I was hearing her, and at the end of her vent, I did offer my regret for not trying to see her side of it, even things she threw out that happened 20 years ago. I guess the addage has merit that many men get past the old issues, and quickly let them go and try to move on, but some women (not all) tend to hang onto to old issues for a looooooong time. But I did ask what she thought could be done to make it better for us, and her response was: "I don't know. I don't think anything can be done at this point." When I said I wanted to talk more about this, she countered with: "I don't want to talk about it anymore, leave me alone. I'm done." With that, I let her to her thoughts, and left the room...feeling hurt, confused and more resolute than ever to not play out the rest of my years like this. That was 3 months ago, and she's not offered up any hint to start up a conversation about this again, an I dared not. Between family and kids' activities, those priorities have dominated the scene, so I just go along, trying to stay positive that things somehow will get better.

I understand your response about seeking counseling alone, but at this point, finances and situations prevent that from happening. I know a counselor would want to get at the heart of what my concerns and hopes are for a happy marriage,and I did that in the past. But to be honest, I'm somewhat at a loss for what that might be now. I'll keep working at it though, because to just 'sit and stew' is so counterproductive...and potentially damaging as well.View Thread

Posted byOlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Wish I could say that I haven't tried this approach, but I have, Twice. First...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Thank You. I appreciate your advice. I can't speak for my wife, so it's in all...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Thank You. I appreciate your advice. I can't speak for my wife, so it's in all...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Been there, done that on the romancing and 'opening up' front. To no avail I'm...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Been there, done that on the romancing and 'opening up' front. To no avail I'm...

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Reply: Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive

Sounds all well and good, but if this 'effort' remains one-sided (as in my case),...

Posted by OlderbutnotBetter

34 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Simple advice on keeping your relationship alive Sounds all well and good, but if this 'effort' remains one-sided (as in my case),...

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