Definitely cheating, have to agree. I never understand people that "grow" from a partner that cheats. I tried for two years to get over my ex cheating on me, and I found it was an impossible battle, that was a continuous stab to the back. Over, and over, and over. At least once a month I was having a break down.View Thread
Going back to an ex isn't always a bad idea. But you BOTH have to ONLY want sex. I made the mistake of sleeping with an ex I had no desire to ever be with again, and he still wanted to be with me. It was a pain in the a-- to get him to stop calling and begging. Otherwise, you can always try making a profile on a website geared towards meeting people to hook up with. There's a free one I had used that I believe is called "datehookup.com"View Thread
Well, you honestly should have already prepared for this to happen from the start. He is already married. His wife will (and sounds like she has) find out. This is going to create A LOT of stress for him, and in his home, where most people go to relax and be comfortable. Unless the other party is actually in the process of getting a divorce, he will more than likely never be with you. I've heard too many stories of men cheating on their wives, and telling the mistress "I'll leave her, I'll leave her" but than never does. And the mistress ends up left behind and forgotten. I'm trying not to judge cause I've never been put in that situation. but come on, he was/IS already married to another woman, did you think persuing a relationship was really the best idea? Is that the example you want to be for your kids?What if you married a man, and he was having a 1.5 year long affair with someone else, that's prettyyyy.. Hurtful and messed up.. If he's unhappy with this woman he needs to grow a pair, be a man, and divorce her. Other wise you and him are the only ones to blame. Save yourself, your family, him, and his family the time/drama and leave the pig in his pin. FORGET ABOUT HIM. Find someone to be with you and ONLY you. Someone that you don't have to sneak around with, hide things, can't marry, or can't ever have a future with. Please, think more of yourself than that. Surely you deserve better <3View Thread
I agree. And I have told him that there are free options for therapy, or even going back to church and confiding in the people there. He's always quick to shut down the idea, but after a little processing time he has come around to the idea. Lately with my inability to support the both of us emotionally, due to being overwhelmed with the pregnancy, I've been much less concerned with upsetting him or "hurting" his feelings. For so long I've let a lot of things slide, or not fully express how I feel about certain topics. My sympathy and patience gets thinner by the days, and I've been able to be harder on him. I've wased too much time trying to protect him, and it was counterproductive. I need to be more forward and demanding no matter what! Cause everyone is right, it isn't about him or me now. It's about my little girl, and she deserves the best of everything this world can give.View Thread
I do think or relationship is rather unhealthy. I can't stress enough how emotionally damaged he is. Like i said, I've struggled with depression and anxiety most my life, and I had been self harming since I was a preteen. The difference between him and I though is that I was fortunate to enough to have a very concerned/supportive family, who was able to afford to send me to therapy, and a treatment center. So even though I still have my stuggles I've been able to get a lot of help and insight from a professionals point of view for a very long time. He had non of those things, has put himself in awful relationships, and become friends with not the greatest of people. He doesn't have a clue how to help himself, nor has anyone pointed out to him issues they may think he has. So a lot of the stupid/insensitive things he does or says he doesn't even realize till I've pointed them out, and advised him on how to be more aware and change the problems.
It has been a very long hard road. But compared to a year ago we have made incredible progress. It's been most difficult cause like I implied, I'm more emotionally secure than him, so it leaves me having to carry him as well as myself. Which I don't mind doing, especially since there has been improvments. But since I've been pregnant, and having to watch his two toddlers every other week while he works, I have been exhausted.
I have found that all the responses to my questions are very helpful. Even if I think some people are a liiittle off base, or being too extreme, it's good to have opposite ends of the spectrum, and all inbetween. The most different insights/points of views, the better. I enjoy this site due to that! And I've had a few people who have kept up with all my posts and reply consistantly which is always really nice and encouraging View Thread
I really think that's a bit extreme (not that I don't appriciate the time/reply). He is VERY unhappy with himself, and his life. Even if he has yet to admit or say it, I know he has to be struggling with depression (as I have a lot of my life). He has never directly said hurtful things to me with the intention of hurting me like he has. He says things without thinking, to later regret it. I've had this theory that he "subconciously" has made these comments, making me more insecure, so that I wont leave him. Does that make sense? Like I'm not good enough to get any better, so I wont leave him. He already had a daughter with one other woman who even thought the relationship was toxic through and through (a lot of it from her end believe it or not) but he stayedwith her for four years till SHE broke it off. He wanted to make it work due to having a kid together. Now he has another kid coming whith another girl, at the age of 32, and I know he is terrfied of going through the same process again.
This site is my "go-to" for when things are wrong. So of course everyone reads the sitty things he has done/said, and have no idea about the positive aspects of the relationship. There is one thing I have never had to worry about, him being faithful. Like I said, he's terrified of having to repeat a really crappy process (for everyone involved). I'm not a phone person I'm very forgettful and forget to call him pretty often. He always asks me to call him whether he's at work, at friend's house, or whatever. If I don't call him, he calls me. He calls me multiple times on his work breaks, or if he's hanging out with friends for longer than a quick "what's up". We share the same facebook account, currently (but not usually) sharing the same cell phone, and spend most of our time together.
He had an alcoholic phase when he was with his daughter's mom, and on a rare occassion resulted in hurting himself. Even though I wouldn't blame him if he beat the crap out of her -he never came close.View Thread
He has yet to make any other comments since the one time in the waiting room. But he had talked about other girls with these issues before, and made negative comments. Not really considering that I would one day potencially have these changes due to pregnancy, never thought much of it. But now that I am experiencing these changes, and finding it really hard to accept them, I'm finding it hard to believe he will be accepting of the changes as well (due to his remarks about other before.)
It was pretty late last night though, so I messaged him pretty much saying the samething I posted. This is what he had replied: Since yur not responding I'm guessing you won't be bak on. I'm kinda sad you think I'm so shallow about looks. We both know I like a good looking woman but there is still no reason for you to think I'm not and won't be attracted to you. Yes I love you but I Do very much so, "lust" you still! No matter what I've said, and I know I've f--- up, I love you and think more of you than ANY woman, besides my grandmother. That is saying a lot. The things I said about stretch marks and the girls with them were just rude ways to get out of something I wasn't feeling. I'm so sorry I didn't think more when screwing up and comparing you to other pregos. I'm not the smartest man but I know when I've F'ed up, I just don't know how to ever fix it. My only goals since all this is to be the best man/husband/father I can be to you from here out. It's eyes only for you from now on. You are my sunshine and one day I hope that one day it'll be forgotten and just the past and you will be comfortable around me again. I'm sad and wish I could just tell you this in person or over the phn.
Apart of me feels like there's certain things said that just can't be taken back. But at the same time I don't know. Thoughts?View Thread
I'm currently 7.5 months pregnant with my first, 20 years old. I've been with my fiance for a couple years, he's 32. Being chubbier I can get over. That's easy to work off after the baby. But things like stretch marks and my boobs looking like deflated balloons are permanent I got slightly dark stretch marks ALL over my boobs (I went from a small B to a big D), I have mostly red, few purpleish marks on both my sides- mostly one. And I've started getting them along the lower half of my stomach. I can only imagine how much wose they're probably going to get soon, once I get even bigger! Needless to say.. My fiance is mildly shallow. He has made remarks about girls with stretch marks, and said boobs, before. So I already know how he feels about them. Even if he "loves me" it doesn't mean he'll continue to be attracted to me, or find my body attractive anymore.. I'm horrrified D: Our sex life has already been lacking, I can't imagine this making it better....View Thread
Spontaneously, I never implied? I have tied with friends about it, and my brother in laws mom has worked for one of the better one for many years.
Lets put it this way, I'd rather put my life on hold till my daughter is old enough to walk, talk, and do some things for herself rather than putting her in a potentially harmful environment. One that I wouldn't even be able to afford anyway.View Thread
There's so many things wrong with so many daycares. Are their decent ones in different states? Sure. But I've yet to hear anyone tell me about a day care they liked or trusted where I live. Even for a crappy one its extremely expensive= not worth it, or the risk. You have absolutely no way of knowing what exactly goes on. I don't even think kids should be allowed in a daycare before a certain age. No matter how great, it's certainly not a place for a baby.View Thread