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Reply: can't pull the trigger

LBP - Sound thoughts. I actually begged her to not leave her MD,Ph.D. - master gardener...

Posted by Skater01

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:can't pull the trigger LBP - Sound thoughts. I actually begged her to not leave her MD,Ph.D. - master gardener...

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Reply: can't pull the trigger

Thanks for the reply FCL, Coincidentally, as we once again went through this interminable...

Posted by Skater01

Thanks for the reply FCL,

Coincidentally, as we once again went through this interminable decision process, she recently has stated that suppose we don't get married, but start out by living together. That does take some of the pressure off. But I'm not anti marriage. I'm anti major mistake.

Yes she can go dancing on her own - although that is a bit more intimate than if it were skiing. Yes I did tell her about the public ridicule ( i-o-e-o-t-o) - still my fault even though she was riding with another fellow.

But wait there's more. ( If you order now....) She's recently dating a match.com find. ( past 8 wks or so ) She's with him - and his kids- as I write ! despite spending the night with me a few days ago . Strangely this does not bother me to any extent. It bothers me more that she is willing to dump him if I gave a green light.

This happened in another episode several years ago when she had been dating a well off fellow ( a shrink) for several years. When my supposedly true love left town, she left him to try to recapture me ( i've always thought it took 3 years to recoop from a love loss and I was certainly grasping at straws ). It was a mess to say the least.

So while I have certainly played my fair share in this not-so-merry-go-round. It is her perhaps dependence or insecurity that perplexes me. I went on a ride yesterday, and in the same breath as telling me of her upcoming date, criticized me for " leaving poor old -her- alone". She has reminded me often that she must have people around to 'energize' her be it a bike ride, dancing, or whatever, ok she is belongs to extroverts-anon. that's ok,.

On my side, I don't really don't want to grow old(er) alone - that's simply not fun or even natural. I do admire her in many ways, and I am the reason - at least partly - she is no longer married. The shadows of guilt, and retribution often dance in my back yard ( what is - is, and we all must cope with our buried bones ) . But I don't want every day to be a battle or to have an extra skin attached.

You know, through all of this, I never expect anyone to provide THE answer to my situation. But simply putting it into words and seeing others words helps. Thanks again.View Thread

Posted bySkater01

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:can't pull the trigger Thanks for the reply FCL, Coincidentally, as we once again went through this interminable...

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