It's sad when something so small is blown out of proportion; this definitely happens a lot with texting etc because it's so easy to misinterpret. If this conversation had happened in person with you asking your niece why she was going to Oregon, I doubt she would have been this mad about it!
Personally, if your niece didn't want people knowing that she was going to Oregon, WHY post it on Facebook??
Nevertheless, it is only natural for you to ask because you're curious with what your niece is up to in this day and age. I guess what you can take away from this situation is that your niece is very sensitive and private and maybe asking her personal questions one-on-one would be better.View Thread
I'm sorry for the pain and loneliness you're going through.
What sticks out to me about your post is how after you helped your niece, she and her mother basically ex-communicated with you. That makes me wonder, were you aware that your niece's mom was against her daughter finding her half siblings but you did so anyway? Were you overstepping the mom's authority? Or did you and your sister have a talk about the half siblings prior to you finding them? I'm just trying to understand if this happened from you unilaterally making the decision or if you were making the decision against your sister's authority?
I do not know your family but I think that you should try to make an effort to meet your sister in person to discuss this. Specifically, how much you miss them and want to be in their lives and that you are truly sorry and that next time you will communicate with your sister first. I know that is easier said then done, but you guys are family and I believe that you guys can forgive and work things out, it just will take time.View Thread
Your post makes me sad and reminds me of a similar situation I was in. I was with in a relationship with a guy that I truly cared about. We were seeing each other for a few months then he tossed me to the curb and went back to his ex-girlfriend, whom he shared many stories of. I was completely depressed then he wanted to get back together with me and we did. That lasted for 8 months then he left me for another chick; then I said NO MORE!
Your story has alot of drama, it's all about that other chick and how she "allegedly wronged the guy you dated." I say enough is enough and it's time that you moved on. You need to think about yourself and live YOUR life. You were not put on this earth to gossip about someone else's love life.
Moving on will not be easy, it will no doubt be a struggle but YOU CAN DO IT! Make yourself get out of the house and do things you enjoy with people unrelated to this couple you described.View Thread
All of the confusion that you are going through is completely normal at the break-up stage. When I was going through that 3 years ago, I reminded myself that I am going to go through good days and bad days. If I was having a bad day I would tell myself, "today is a bad day and that is ok because I am allowing myself to vent. Tomorrow might be a good day."
I also found it helpful to write in a journal (I threw this away sometime this year and it made me happy to let all that go!) my experience happened 3 years ago and I can honestly say that I do still hold some of that pain BUT I am A LOT better than I was. I'm telling you this because as cliche' as it is, TIME is what heals your pain.
I also recommend finding that activity that when you do it, everything else is blocked out for a period of time. For me, that was running/walking and listening to my iPod.
I am happy to hear that you have a good support system and hope that you are making ample opportunity to hang out with them any chance you get.
If you have any more questions please feel free to post here.View Thread
I am sorry you are going through this because that is a terrible situation to be in. Has he been abusive towards you? Are you almost afraid of him now?
Does he work?
I think therapy is the ONLY solution at this point. He is going to "push" you out of this relationship without it. There's only so much of that behavior one can put up with before you realize you crave being AWAY from that person. What kind of relationship is that when it reaches that stage? Not an ideal or happy one, but one that becomes more stressful than its worth.
Again I think you need to be upfront with him and tell him that if he wants to give "our relationship" any chance then we need therapy NOW because "our relationship" will not progress without it. Tell him that you were happy with your relationship in the beginning and now you are not. Both parties in a relationship need to be happy; if one or both are unhappy, that is a problem that needs to be addressed as in your case. If this relationship matters to him as much as it matters to you, then he will respect and accept your suggestion. If he waits too long, you might reach your point of no return with this relationship.
Good luck to you and your decision.View Thread
I must say you have a good sense of humor and that is a major plus on your side. You seem to have a good positive attitude about this especially for learning from this and adjusting accordingly. Good for you and keep it up.View Thread
I think this is a case where she underestimated how much time it takes to heal from a split. There's nothing more that you could have done, you sound like you were very supportive and caring for her but all the while she was with you, she wasn't fully healed from her past relationship.
Judging by what you you wrote in your post, do you typically attract yourself to people that have a lot of drama/baggage? I'm wondering if that is a common pattern?
If you can, try to take this experience as a learning experience of what you want and do not want in a future relationship. Try not to let this get you down but keep yourself busy doing activities you enjoy and be open to any new opportunities.View Thread