Bet it felt good to release your anxiety didn't it? I do that every now and again... When my Son's Father died it was the hardest thing I've ever done and I still sob like that. When my Dad died, he wasn't expected to live through the night and I had an 18 hr. bus ride to get to him so 24 hours later I walked into his room, sat down and took his hand and said,"Hi Daddy, I'm here and I love you!" He tightened his hand around mine just a little and took his last breath. That was over 40 years ago and at times I still sob like it was yesterday. I still miss him terribly. I still get angry at times too because he died before I was ready to lose him, but at the same time I'm so fortunate that I had a loving Father.
I'm so glad you had a shadow!!! How awesome is that? See? That's a really good sign don't you think? I'm hoping you will have a short recovery period and be back to your light-hearted self quickly!
Oh how I wish I could be there to take care of you!!! You would have to suffer through my bad cooking and everything! Why I could just make you so miserable you wouldn't have time for the dreaded pain right? And I could nag and nag and nag and you would remember why you are single!! Oh yeah!! I could even keep you awake at night cause our hours are so different ey? Or maybe I'd learn to snore really loud, you know like I was trying to cut down one of these Redwoods HaHa!!! Yeah I could do all that and more
Seriously though, I will be thinking of you and sending you all the spoons I could get my hands on.... I've been saving them just for you. Just remember you are loved by many and you know my number and can call me anytime day or night if you need anything at all,,, even if it's to have someone to scream at. I promise I won't take it personal. And I promise I will write you every day at least once!! No reply necessary!!
Oh D, I so wish I could take that pain away for you! But we both know it can't be done. My good vibes are always sent your way along with all of my extra spoons!! Stay strong my friend and know that you can call me any time of the day or night K? I'm always good for a laugh or two either with or at me. Love you to the Moon and back!View Thread
I'm wondering how I should respond to your request for suggestions and encouragement where your "Dil-wad" (as D so kindly put it), is concerned, as I too had one of those in my life not long ago.
My suggestion? Please DO NOT let that poor excuse for a human being bring one more tear to your face!! She is a prime example of the Devil's sense of humor and you need not feed her ego. If she had the audacity to smile when she said such a rude and untrue statement to you, then she most likely knew that it was just that,,, rude and untrue. She was speaking for herself and was pretty sure it would hurt you and you would never have said anything to your Son. Am I right?
I put up with this kind of thing for a few years thinking that my Son was in a happy relationship and I surely didn't want to bring trouble between them so I kept my mouth shut and cried myself to sleep many nights thinking it was my fault for one reason or another and before too long I started to believe the things she was implying! She gave my Son a Daughter after all when he thought he couldn't have children. She ended up doing great damage to my relationships with more than one family member (unknowing to me). I still haven't told my Son a lot of the things that "thing" did to me. He's no longer married to her as she is one of those 5 year relationship holders. She is now with one of my Son's so-called best friends.
Anyways, back to the point.... If I were to do this all over again this is what I would do. When confronted in public by this " Disrespectful In Law", and it smiled at me while telling me something about how MY SON felt about whatever it was I was suggesting such as taking MY Family out for a dinner I was too tired to slave over, I would just return the "bigger smile" and say, "I'm sorry, Son and Grandson, (using their names, and leaving it's out of course), will be missed by the rest of us, and hope THEY will change their minds before the event." And let it go at that. And THEN, go ask my Son to reconsider HIS decision and allow you to take them out for dinner unless he has a better suggestion. After all you must know that your Son loves you and would never want to put you in a place where you felt that hurt and unimportant to him right? Don't give her that kind of satisfaction of thinking she's got your Son's unconditional love to a point that he'd turn his back on you and his Father. I'm sure that's not the case at all.View Thread
One day I was surfing the web and learning about one of my many illnesses when I stumbled upon this Community and a post from a man wondering how he could find a new best friend as he lost one near and dear to his heart. He was in such a troubled state of mind and I could feel the pain he was in. Well I responded to his post offering to be his best friend and I have no words to describe how much that post has affected my life.
dfromspencer, you are such a blessing to me! It was ME who gained the best friend! You have such an AWESOME way about you Dennis and I can't ever thank the powers that be for crossing our paths that day! I just don't know how I would have gotten through my broken emotional roller coaster of a life without your encouragement.
You too have come a long way my Friend since that first chat we had. It warms my heart to see you laughing and smiling while giving others the support and advice to the best of your ability. I see you are in your element here and you bring a smile to my face every time I think of you.
I know you are in your own pain daily and I so wish I could take it all away for you, but sadly I can't. I can only try to help a bit by words typed in messages. If at any time you need me, know that I'm here 24/7 for you. Friends like you don't come easily and we are lucky to find one as open and genuinely caring as you are to me and so many of us here.
I just want to say thank you D from the depth of my heart. Thank you for serving our Country proudly doing your part to give us our freedom. Thank you for your encouragement getting us through our own personal battles all the while you have such great daily battles of your own. Dennis,,,, I'm so glad you were born. Every day should be your birthday! What a special Best Friend you are, THANK YOU!!!
Yes, it was aimed at Dennis Dr. Leslie, but he, as well as many many others, surely would not have come this far without your help and guidance as I'm confident every one of us would agree. Thank you for all you do and especially for bringing my BFF back into the world of the living so he could be an inspiration to the rest of us. .
I have tried therapy three times. The first time was when I was married to the Father of my two Boys. When we married I was 16 he was 20 and in the Navy. He didn't smoke, drink, or cuss in front of me. We met when I was about 12 and my Parents adored him. Then he did two tours in Viet Nam and came home a very angry man. Smoking, drinking, and cussing like the Sailor he was! They have a name for it now but they didn't then. PTSD. He started slow but after the Kids came along he started beating me. We didn't have our first Son until we were married for 5 years. When my oldest Son was about 5, his Dad lost it.. To this day I don't know what set him off but he started choking me, I blacked out twice and his Aunt knew what was happening so called the Police to get me out. When my Son saw me he pointed to the bruises on my neck and asked if Daddy did that? That's when I knew something had to change. I was put in a shelter for a week and they helped me get housing. I told my Husband I would not go back until he got counseling. He agreed and after a few sessions, the counselor asked if I would come. I did and one of the first questions he asked me was how I felt about my Husband. I told him I loved him very much but I didn't like him. The therapist replied, " Nonsense! You can't possibly have one without the other!" Well I did!!! So I knew he wasn't the one for me! However, he did an awesome job for Mike and he was an awesome person for about two years until I saw signs of him going back to his old self and before things got bad, I left him. We were married 15 years. I never stopped loving him. He stayed single for about10 years and then met the woman he was destined to be with and lost all of the anger he had built up inside. She died after a few years and he lost his desire to live himself. 5 years later I went back to him to help him die in his home. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but I would do it again if I had to. The second time, I was sitting in my Dr.'s office and broke down crying because I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. She asked me if I'd go see a Dr. about a half hour from where we were and I agreed. I went in, checked in, and they took me up to the second floor. I thought it strange that the door locked behind me and they sat me down and asked me a bunch of questions. Throughout this conversation, these different people kept coming in and listening. After about 30 minutes or so, they led me into another room, and again, the door locked behind me. I was in the County Mental Ward!!! They took a blood test, took my clothes, and assigned me a bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. They made me interact with the others in there and put me on this schedule that didn't allow me to sleep much at all. The next day the Dr. said my problem was solely due to the fact I had THC in my system. I fought them for days until one day I finally said to myself, If you don't cooperate you won't get out of here so I smiled and put on a happy face and 14 days in, they let me out. I felt no different than the day I went in except more angry and felt I really was crazy. I saw another Dr. after that because I refused to see that one, and this new one saw me for about two weeks and said, I think you have Narcolepsy and sent me to a Neurologist and a sleep study was done and sure enough,,,, I had Narcolepsy! I loved that Therapist!!! But sadly he no longer took my insurance so I had to quit seeing him. He helped me so much but the best part was he gave me the tools I needed to pull myself up and realize the signs of depression. I now know if it's the myriad of medical issues or mental issues. I have an awesome medical team because of him and his genuine care about my medical/mental health. I have tried counseling since then but haven't found the right fit yet. My PCP is filling in quite well though. And Dr. Becker-Phelps,,, you are a God-Send!!!! I'm one of those who doesn't chime in often but visit here a lot. TYView Thread
Hey D, Thanks for being patient The Neurosurgeon has surgery the day I was scheduled to see him so they put me off for a day. I guess after waiting 6 months what's one more day right? I'm not sure if I even want the surgery,,, maybe you can enlighten me? I've done some reading on it and they say in time the ones that has the surgery are back in the same condition than the ones who decline surgery,,,, is that true? I know it's in such bad shape now that I can hardly stand it and if I go through the ordeal of having the surgery and then end up back where I started a few years later what's the point? And then there's the chance it doesn't take? I'm having such a time trying to stay awake because my oxygen is low but I have a problem toting the dang backpack around because it hurts my neck. Seems I can't win for losing these days, ugh!! So far I am not liking being 60!!! I have gained 22 lbs. this year so far for no good reason other than my neck is slowing me down! And yes those lightening bolts are prominent when I am prone for sure! My arms are having issues if I'm sitting watching tv too. That can be quite painful.
Oh I want to get a big TV soon too! My eye sight is getting worse and I can't read what's on mine grrr!!! Not sure what size it is maybe 38"? My son has a 60" and I LOVE it!! This one lets me key up Netflix and such which I won't complain about but any reading of the guide is out lol. Reading has always put me to sleep so I tend to stay away from it which is a big reason I'm not here as often as I would like and that along with the fact that the other sites talk so much about their support systems which makes it hard to relate you know? I go every now and again to catch up like I do here but I usually stay in the background.
Please share the pros and cons of having the surgery? At least as far as it relates to you? I am allergic to most metals so if they have to leave any in, I guess that's out too? Wish me luck, next week is the start of my preparation for the Varices Banding,,, Not a big fan of that either but most of the time she does such a good job I hardly have pain afterward. AND I don't have to have a Colonoscopy this time so no prep!!!! That's ALWAYS a good thing
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