Thank you for the validation and encouragement to get mad. I need to work on that. I've told him off before and it only makes me feel worse. I think though that finding a way to remember clearly that what he did and is doing really IS that bad. He would manipulate and invalidate me our whole marriage. He would shut me down of I was upset at him cheating or spending all our money and I always ended up second guessing my own reality. Believe it or not, he even made me feel guilty about wanting him to stay home the night I had surgery (that he didn't even go to; my coworker took me). I drove myself home and passed him on the road going the other way. He was mad that I was mad at him. And then I felt guilty and like make I was being overly demanding. Ugh!!! What an infuriating immature selfish man.
How do I balance being mad without becoming vindictive?
As far as POA, he was my husband, I was getting ready to deploy and needed him to sign some documents to finish the mortgage process, so I gave him a limited POA to conduct the final signing. Never occurred to me that he just wouldn't sign his name. It wasn't like I gave it to a stranger or didn't know the power of it. Sometimes despite doing what you can, people will screw you.View Thread
Thank you...I do have all the emails and texts where he agreed to do so. Problem is, it's not the same as him signing a quitclaim deed. Yes, my lawyer is experienced in both...we are going to court next week. I can force a sale f the house and all the my ey will have to go to pay off the loan, so that is my way ahead currently.
I just don't want to feel trapped by him anymore. Our whole marriage, I had to suffer the impact of his irresponsibility...I enabled and didn't feel the right to set up boundaries. I have definitely changed that now! But the crazy making still triggers to me to back when I was married. Doing things kindly and pretending to be so innocent but really being atrocious. It reminded me of when I was sexually assaulted multiple times. It was so 'sweet' and they were gentle and it was 'because they loved me'. Which is utter BS but this issue with my ex is bringing up all that for me again.View Thread
He is only verbally amicable and then turns into an ostrich. He verbally agreed to sign a contract saying he would make payments for a year and sign a POA letting me sell if he missed a payment. Then he ignored all attempts to get him to actually sign.
Thank you for the idea, though. I'm realizing how exhausted and desperate and alone I feel! Your post makes me feel supported.View Thread
Haha yeah I lost my old password when I signed up as awesome lexie years ago, and tried to post anonymously so that I wouldn't cause this mixup...but forgot lol.
Anyway, thank you! I appreciate the support.
I am not mad at him, interestingly. I just want him to go away!!!! I feel trapped because I am still paying every month and don't know how much longer I will be in this position. I am supporting two households!! When I am not even married to him! So it is not that I can't get over how bad he treated me...it is that I can't freaking get away from the impact his actions are having on me. I don't know how to be free of it!
With a POA, what he did is legal, because I didn't specifically think to say 'sign both names' because it never crossed my mind that he wouldn't!!!View Thread
He used the Power of Attorney that I gave him to finish the mortgage process, because I was going to be deployed when the final signatures were scheduled. He just signed only my name, and not his.View Thread