By the way, when you see couples in public, are the women with "scrawny weaklings"? If they're not, if they're with more muscled men, do you think they're secretly yearning to be with a "scrawny weakling" instead? I don't expect you to take my advice, Dennis, as the only person who ever has so far was a Hungarian call girl, on what kind of bad on hand was perfect to store something in, but don't believe everything you hear, especially something like that. Some of my family were spies, from two different countries and in three different wars, and they used to make up information all the time to confuse people, to make them feel inadequate like that. It made them easier to conquer. Don't believe everything you hear, that's an order.View Thread
I keep fit, some people at work call me "The Mover." I barely drive, even my wonderful new sports car, so that I can walk/jog for miles to get where I need to go, which is often up and over a lot of hills, and in extreme heat/cold situations, as well as in rain, snow, several blizzards, and one hurricane. If there are stairs when I get there, I take them all. My feet aren't quite right, which kept me from serving in the military (that's of three different countries), but I was always a much faster sprinter than any of my friends who were on the football or track teams. I also swim, and a few months ago I dove into the ocean in my jeans because I thought I needed an adrenaline rush to help keep my mind off what I was going through. I stayed in there over a half hour I think, and from where I was I could see people along the shore under the clouds wearing winter jackets, but it didn't last as long as I'd hoped... Sometimes on my break at work I'll hit the beach and swim for a while before getting showered then back in my uniform to finish the rest of the day. I don't have a routine like you do though, and I don't mind a woman who can be judgmental, as then if I end up impressing her, that means it really meant something, that I did something that many others couldn't, and I like that feeling.View Thread
I met a girl who seemed interested, and while I wasn't, I agreed to meet her at a cafe when she suggested that. Again, while I wasn't interested, they say you never know, and maybe I could've met other people through her, widened my social life. In short, it was an opportunity to put myself out there, very few of which I've turned down in life.
We agreed on a time/place the night before, then when I showed up the next day, she didn't. When I asked her about that later on, she said she'd completely forgotten about it. I don't know why she would suggest we meet somewhere, seeming interested in me, only to completely forget about it the very next day.
There's no way she could've been so interested. You can say maybe she was in a car accident, or her grandmother died, or she got fired from her job that day, too embarrassed to tell me, but how likely is any of that? I believe her explanation, in that she suggested and planned to meet with me, but since it wasn't actually so important to her, without anything else earth-shattering in her life at the time, she just forgot about it. You can offer me other theories on why she stood me up that evening without getting in touch with me at all, but how would we ever know if any of that would be the truth over what she told me?
This is another insult to injury for me, where I've posted before about having been rejected by every woman I've made a sincere effort with for 16 years now. You can tell me to talk to a therapist, but what'll he tell me? I was stood up, it's a fact, I feel badly about it because I'm human, and especially with how it's part of a 16-year pattern.
How else could I improve myself that I'm not already up to? I feel like at least one person would've liked me by now. I've had problems, but I have my own place, I make my own money, my voice on the phone got me my job in less than a week when others had to wait more than a month, I'm in better shape every year, I'm hygienic, I have certain skills, I'm not often as pissed off as I might sound on here...Actually, my customers, coworkers, and bosses tell me they feel more calm when I'm around.
The way I've dealt with this so far, is to travel places I used to live or otherwise have strong connections to, whose languages I can make myself understood in, and where prostitution is coincidentally legal (don't ask, it doesn't matter). With how jealous I've been of others, I've liked having people I know jealous of me for a change, whether I stay in a hotel with a wonderful view of a certain city, or rent an apartment in the neighborhood of a certain famous beach, and in either case, end however I spend my days with a different beautiful call girl chauffeured to my door every night, all of whom have been warm and pleasant.
This has been a recent development for me, and yes, I'm looking forward to doing it again soon, but that doesn't change how not one woman has liked me in 16 years. You can tell me maybe there have been, and I just didn't know it, but how would that help me? There's nothing left I can do with a therapist on this. I'm simply very angry at how I continue to be the best I can be, getting better every day, even if very slowly sometime, and that's not been good enough for one person over 16 years.
I do what I do when I travel because I deserve to get some fun out of life, but I am not a selfish person. I recently had an explosive falling out with a friend of mine, leaving me with no local friends left, as I'd had it with how selfish he'd become over the last few years. I like to buy/make gifts out of the blue, based on who a person really is, and if I'm working hard, I like to be distracted if someone I know says s/he needs or would like something.
I don't deserve to be forgotten about and left sitting like a fool who shouldn't have expected anything different considering the past 16 years.View Thread
Thanks, before I move on, and there's one old friend I've been more or less in touch with only recently, but I haven't known her since we were in elementary school. She's very far away though, grew up to be gorgeous, and so this is all romantic notions on my part, nothing realistic. Most of my friends are far away, and often run in circles that have nothing to do with me anyway.
Closer to home though, my best friend's gay, so for years we've never been in the habit of going to meet people, speaking of running in different circles. Not like I've given up though...View Thread
I'd met those women when I was at my worst health-wise, not having known there was a problem. Now that I do know, and have known for a few years, I've lived a stable life, and ironically no opportunities have come along, much less women who remind me of the way they were.
It's the irony of it: sick=opportunities, healthy=none. Despite my current lifestyle, and how there's a lot of enjoyment in it for me, I'm still curious about a relationship.
Also, any anger I've had about having had no girlfriend over 15 years isn't so much that I haven't had one, but that nobody thought I was good enough. If I knew there'd been women out there who for sure had thought I was good enough, I wouldn't feel as angry about it I believe.View Thread
It wasn't The Goonies, but I like that one too, especially the music score. I was actually adding Dirty Harry to my favorite movies list on Facebook recently. Also, like you, not much in theaters appeals to me these days; I think I've made time to see a movie only 4 or 5 times in the last few years. As far as dinner, thankfully I'm having that made for me tonight, and by this point you've probably already finished whatever you've come up with anyway.View Thread
I'm surrounded by much more supportive people these days, I've made sure of it, thank you. I know there's more I need to do in life in order to get away from how badly these past experiences affect me.View Thread
I don't tweet though I did recently get back to Facebook. I speak some Spanish now and used to be fluent in two other languages, one of which was French, the other of which is spoken by about 25 million people among Europe, Africa, and South America, and that's the one I've been getting my fluency back in. As for the movie, it was a classic, where a group goes after and finds treasure, and one of them turns on the rest out of paranoia. I'm getting a bit mysterious with you here"026
You're welcome, by the way, and thanks for posting on my other thread. I'm going to check that out now.View Thread