I can understand how hurtful it is when your feelings/needs are not validated by the people who mean the most to you. Sometimes you just want to be heard you don't necessarily want advice or ask for any. My mother was always really good at that - you should do this or that - when all I wanted was for her to listen. I knew what I needed to do and didn't need her sarcasm on top of everything. Needless to say I stopped discussing anything with her. I just tell her I'm fine. Communication is hard but we have to keep trying.
Good morning Debbie. It seems to me that you have such a deep well of love inside you for others but why do you have none for yourself? I think you need to forgive yourself for the mistakes you feel you've made and then love yourself enough to allow yourself to be happy. You have to give love, compassion and understanding to yourself too. Don't just give all of those wonderful things away to others. Give a large portion of it to YOU! You deserve to be loved! Be as generous to yourself as you are to everyone else. Be selfish if and when you need to be.
There have been times when I have given of myself to someone and I've gotten burned. It makes me more cautious and less trusting for awhile but my true self has to get back out there, you know. I beat myself up for different reasons all the time but the bottom line is I still love myself and know in my heart that it's the other person's problem and not mine.
So my dear friend give yourself a big loving hug and know it's from me.
I'm doing pretty good thanks for asking. I always say that as long as I can drag my body out of bed it's a good day. It doesn't always work but I try. Work is pretty stressful and I'm getting more serious about retirement. Hopefully within about six months.
I'm more of a lurker here than a participant. It's not that I don't care deeply but that I don't feel I have the right words to say. I need to try more.