I agree with the girls. Your freaking the women out, because your too good to them. A lot of women our age, who are single, have had some really bad relationships. Think about who your dating pool are. Divorced because of abuse, drugs, alcohol, financial difficulties, cheating, or married young because they were pregnant.
We don't have a lot of single women who have had a lot exposure to a good man. I was very lucky when I met my wife. She was legally married to a man for 25 years. When he married her, she was the other woman, of his first marriage. She divorced him mostly due to the same reason. He was seeing (now married to) a lot lizard. His son wasn't even invited to the wedding. GREAT GUY Huh.
I dated a lot after my ex & I split, and I did all the same things your doing. I learned after the first wife. You can put a woman on a pedestal, but you have to take them down and treat them as a woman and equal, also. Worship the them because they deserve it. With our partners, you have to be a man. Hold them tight, disagree with them, but most of all, they are equal and want to be treated the same.
My wife tells me all the time that she's the spoiled one. She feels sometimes our love life is all about her and tells me to take what I want. I have a love for her bottom and it's hard to ask for it. I alway make sure she's ready, but I have to go there every once in a while. Believe me, I really spoil her before and after. It even harder to ask for it, when you only have a chance to have sex 2-4 times a month. After being with her for 6 years, she reads me pretty well and knows when I have to have it.
My ex couldn't read a comic book and had no idea how much I wanted sex. I put her on the pedestal, but never really took her down. I was alway trying to please her and not myself for anything. Of course when I did try to please myself with her, that was out and it all had to be about her.
Dennis the best advise I can give you is keep trying and set your boundries. Sit down and literally write down what you want in a woman/partner. Example: non-smoker. If she smokes don't date her. If she hides it, really don't stick around. You know what you want. Put it in front of you and then decide what you will do to get and keep it.
A woman can be the perfect woman in all aspects, but one and it will drive you crazy. I dated a woman for a month and she would do anything (in bed) with me. That was one of my requirements when I started dating her and she knew that was what I wanted. After a month she tells me, we can still date, but no sex. I didn't go out with her again. It wasn't all sex in the relationship, but I would not date a woman who didn't want to have sex. This is just one example, but I hope you see my point.
Your not over doing anything, but you have to know when to add the equal time also. I'm sure the ladies will agree, it's great to be on the pedestal, but they like to be equal also. They want to give a little of the pedestal time to their partner.
I'm guilty of enjoying the sun. Haven't been on site or doing much computer stuff. Only the basics. I've got scout camp comming up next week, had be on trips with the family and generally busy with other activities. Busy hands keep folks together, because they don't nit pick. They're just to busy.
So everyone go to the zoo, the aquarium or just for a walk. Enjoy this time of year that has been blessed upon us. Seeing nature's bounty and being in the sun's warmth is a blessing to behold.
I've had a few crazy days. Finishing up planting my plants, mowing, trimming hedges and trees, working with my scouts, and of course work. My wife has been busy at work and with her mom. We have squeezed a hour or 2 a day to see each other.
Plans for this weekend. Saturday: Pancake breakfest for Fire Dept fund raiser. Lunch: Tenderloin at another fund raiser and dinner at another fund raiser. Work Saturday night. Sunday: Sleep a little and then Brunch with family and friends. Visit cemeteries to put flowers on wife's family graves. Monday: American Legion Memorial Day Parade and Veterans Ceremony. Boy Scouts Color Guard behind the Legion Color Guard. Annual Legion Bean dinner with my family and my scouts.
My wife and I are big supporters of local community causes. I can't always give much, but if we can buy a $10 Tshirt or $5 meal to help we will. We try to budget about $50 a month for this. That's not including our time and money for scouts and 4H.
I have served my country since I was 18. U.S. Navy, Federal employee, factory worker, restaurant worker, and a state employee. I will continue to serve this wonderful country, even if I don't always agree with our leaders.
On this Memorial Day as every day, we all should honor the men and women who have made this country what it is today. It doesn't matter if your ancestors dug a ditch, served in war time or were a millionaire, they all made a contrabution to this nation. They all got up each morning and improved their lives and in turn improved our nation.
I'll get off my soap box and wish everyone a good Memorial Day weekend.
Your not blinded by love, just hopeful. I work in a place that is very negative for relationships. I have to keep my head and heart very solid and in line. Some say I'm a hard A**, but things have to be good between both parties for the relationship to work. I hope you both can get the tools you need to make the relationship work.
Take every advantage to being happy, but don't take a step back. Abuse is never acceptable. I don't care how much you love them and think you can change them.
One of my first relationships, after I separated from my ex wife, was with a woman who's bf broke her arm in 4 places. 4 years later she got away from him. List of injuries are to long to list here, but after a broken nose and concussion, she wised up. She lived homeless for 6 months to get out.
My mother had just married another drunk (dad was first). We boys were 13,12,& 11. One day, he raised his voice to her in front of us. Later,when he was sober, he was advised by all 3 of us, if we see a bruise, a bump, or any physical damage to mom, he wouldn't wake up the next day. Yea, we don't take abuse well. They were married for 5 years.
That's why I'm a little strong minded about getting away from abuser.
I hope you can get together, but don't rush it. Also make sure you have it worked out before you get married. That piece of paper changes things legally. It's a contract that is very hard to break. It won't be better if you haven't fixed it before you sign the papers. That is the biggest problem I see in marriages today. People still get married, even though they hit, hurt, and fight each other in the dating process. Then wonder why the marriage didn't work. If it isn't working living together, then don't get married.
I'm sorry about your separation. I guess I'm a A**Hole, but if your not married, fighting that is escalating to "emotional and physical abuse" and a child is being resented, you need to be separated. You are having heartache and pain now, but you need to move on. This relationship is poison. What is your child seeing? It's parents fighting and hurting each other. The child is seeing it's being resented by the new partner. A parent should NEVER chose a new partner over their own child. I don't care how good a person you think they are. If they resent the child, it's poison to the relationship and they need to be gone. Stress is the fight or flight reaction to a threat. There must be threat in the home, because your fighting then she flees to her home. You can try to work it out, but you have to look at all points of view. Your's, her's and your child's. Even a baby can feel resentment and hatred. Stress can make people do very bad things. I'm not saying she would, but look at the mom who tried to drive into the ocean with her children. Look at the murder/suicides in the news. I'm not saying don't try, but if it's hurting everyone to stay together, get apart. It take 2 people working to have a relationship. If one of the two doesn't try or want it, then there is no relationship.
I feel blessed every day I have my parents around. Mom is a 5 year breast cancer survivor. Dad has COPD, alcoholism, and cancer. Both still heavy smokers. I had lost all grandparents by the time I was 24. All basicly through smoking. Between emphysema, cancer and a trailer fire caused by a lit cigarette.
My wife's mother mentally is gone and physically is failing fast. Her father is a self imposed bed ridden person. He won't seek help or won't do any thing to help himself. Everyone must bow to his wishes. He's 300 plus, CHF, 2 ppd smoker, and complains why no one wants to visit him. My wife visits her mother 3 times a day now. Hasn't see him in over a week.
Yes, I celebrate having my parents around and try to have my son experience them every chance we get. We are all getting older and need to stay connected to our past. Our children need to know where they came from to help guide them to where they are going.
By the way everyone, my gf and I got married about 6 weeks ago. I think this one will make it.
Breakfest went well with dad, but we weren't able to grocery shop due to the cold rain. Dad just can't handle it any more. He's 75 years old. I got my hugs and well wishes. Some days I really wish we lived closer. Then there are times I'm glad we don't. My father is an alcoholic. He has been all my life. I don't want to expose my son to the lifestyle. I also want my son to only have good memories of his grand father. A falling down whiny drunk is not a good memory. Dad usually stays sober when my son is around. I hope your family has a good Mother's day planned for you. Visiting and flowers are on my agenda for my mom. I hope the gf mom last until after Mother's day. Next year will be very hard on my gf. Her mom has dementia and is on the final stages at the nursing home. It's day by day for her now. Remember to hug and love your family every day.
Hi Eagleboy7678, As a person who met my gf online, I can tell you honesty is the best policy. Don't lie. I dated 3-4 women at a time while I was online dating. I explained right up front what I wanted and what my needs were. I was on 4 sites and dated/talked to about a dozen women. Some were just hook ups and some had ended up just a meet and greet and over. I told every one of the women I met I was seeing other women. My gf was told right up front what my expectations were and what I was doing. Never hide what your doing. Don't expect the love of your life on the 1st date. Be confident and sure of what you want from a partner. I dated older than me and younger than me. I was 45 at the time. The oldest was 52 and the youngest was 35. When I was 25 I dated a woman who was 56. OMG what a couple of nights. She taught me a lot, but I also showed her some things. Over 18 and consenting, what does age matter? My gf now is my age. We talked online and then phone for over 3 months before we even met. By our 3rd date, I started feeling a difference in our relationship. One time after that, she asked me if I was still seeing other women. I told her I was, but what I didn't tell her was I felt bad about telling her I was seeing other women. I could see the hurt in her eyes. 2 weeks later I told her we were exclusive. I also advised the other women I was seeing that we were over. They understood and congratulated me on finding someone. I'm a firm believer in the truth. Lying and covering up only hurts you and your honor. No one wants to date a dishonorable person.
I got a little confession. I've been kind a slack in seeing my dad lately. The last couple of years, I have made sure to see him at least once a month and take him shopping. He's fixed income and gets his check on the 3rd. The last 4 months have been crazy. Gf getting new job, her mom in nursing home with Dementia and her dad's self imposed bed ridden situation, Boy Scouts, 4H, and other things. My sister has taken up a lot of my slack and I shamed my brothers in to see him more often. 3 of them live less than 30 minutes away and I live 1.5 hours away. I seen him more than they did.. I got a phone call yesterday and he invited me to breakfest on Monday. I realized I hadn't been there and he sound really hurt because I hadn't been there. So yes Sunflower, sometimes your silly, crazy, and busy children need a nudge. I am not angry at my father's call. I'm angry at myself because I need to see my parents more. My gf's mom may pass on with in the week. My gf has already lost her mom mentally and soon it will be physically. Some times even if it stares you in the face, you forget about the ones you love. Don't feel bad to call, text or email reminders. We will still love our parents.
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