Don't ever worry about coming here to vent. I know I like hearing from you. My mom live 30 minutes away from most of her grandkids. She has 6 kids, 2 step kids, 26 children & 8 great grand babies. She can't be there for everything and we don't ask her to. Christmas would bankrupt her if she bought for all of them.
I feel your husband is right, but here's why. The other grandma was there and your daughter & SIL were thinking about there trip, not about your request to be at a school function. It hurts. I know. Your not being overly sensitive, just feeling a little left out. Like you said, Your 2.5 hours away and with the price of gas, a 1-3 hour school function may not have been worth it. Seeing grandchildren smile is priceless, I know.
I'm sure your daughter didn't mean to offend or hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt or offend my mom, but I know I've done it. If mom talks to me about it, I apologize and we go on and I try to do better next time. We are only human.
P.S. Our world hasn't changed, but our view has been expanded and now is instant access to all the doom and gloom the TV & internet can put out there. 110 years ago, they hung horse thieves. Today a car thief gets 6 months in jail. No deterrents.View Thread
From one ex smoker to another. CONGRATS. Keep at it.
As for the episode from a month ago, everyone has those moments. I took it as my body telling me it's changing. I haven't felt like I have gotten a full breath on occasion for years. Mostly because I know I have slight COPD. 20 years of smoking doesn't do your lungs any good. Even a yawn takes 2 breaths to feel deep enough.
The worst is I can't hold my breath like I could. After about 5-10 seconds I need air. Swimming is a lot more difficult for me now. No matter how much I try to extend my lung capacity I can't.
I have to much wonderlust. I'm glad you can accept your mortality, but I can't. My chronic arthritis and neck bone spurs pain isn't as bad as your pain, but I won't give up. I have a brother with MS, a brother who died on the highway and was brought back,(he's disabled, but with us) and another brother who just had eye surgery (both retinas detached). They "do not got gentle into that good night" and won't give up.
We all have our blue moments. I have had my share of them. I could and would never accept death, because I see more out there. I'm going camping with the Boy Scouts this weekend. I'm bringing over 200 feet of extention cord for my C-pap and my meds. I'm not climbing towers or running races, but I'm making sure I see my boys have every advantage I can give them.
I hope you start thinking a little more my way. I'm getting older and it's more painful, but I refuse to have less life. I want to squeeze everything I can between work and sleep. Some days I succeed and some days I don't. Every day has an opportunity. Never accept that it doesn't.
I'm not judging you, Dennis or mayby I'm not understanding what your saying. I had to make my statement, because no matter what I like ya and you help folks. There is no greater feeling in our heart of hearts than the satifaction of helping to the best of your ability.
Follow up on mom & sis's New York Trip. They had a ball. Mom complained about the walking, but love it all. Sis complained about mom complaining about the walking, but would take her back in a heart beat. All the a** chewing I did with my sister was worth it. I love my sister and mother very much. It hurt all of us when the fighting was going on. So no matter what, if you love someone, you have to keep trying to get through. Release the poison that hurts you all.
Sorry you and your mom aren't getting along. Here is my suggestion. You can't hold this in. It will destroy your relationship. No one can fix this but you two. Invite her to a private meeting. If you have a pastor or a mutual good friend, ask them to be a monitor. Explain to her this is not an attack and she's to listen until you get it all out. Your friend/pastor is to explain it to her also. Here's the hard part. YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER SIDE.
Your angry about what happened. I was one of the people who agreed with you. My sister and mother had nit picked for about 4 years. Sis wouldn't talk to mom and mom got tired of trying to talk to her. Sis was cutting mom down on face book and I stepped in. My sister loves our mom very much, but something was said or done years ago. This was my mother's 68th birthday & mom called me in tears. She had heard about the stuff on Facebook. I called my sister and ripped her a new one. I also told her one of them had to step up and call the other.
I'm not saying it's perfect or anything will get resolved, but you have to release this anger. It's poison to you and your family. My nephew asked his mother on day why grandma hated them. My sister couldn't answer it. My mother loves all her 22 grandchildren and 8 great grand children. She can't buy for the all, but she calls and talks to all them she can. My sister wouldn't even pick up the phone and RTS mom's Christmas cards.
My sister called. A lot of stuff go discussed and a lot got "brushed under the rug." With family sometimes you have to forgive and forget. They are going on a red eye bus trip to NY tomorrow night.
Let your mom know you love her, but you can't let her endanger (in your view not her's) your children. It hurts when you can't talk to your own mother or father. I know. Don't let the pain stay with you. You have to try. Even if she doesn't want to, you know you tried.
I told you the women would talk to you here. Listen to them. It's all out there if you strive to get it. We will try not to steer you wrong. I've been on this site for about a year now and if you got questions or even some answers, let us know. We all have had rough times. How we get to the good times is the important struggle.
She's asking to visit her on a better site that cost you money. She says she lost her number and she lives in New York. What do you think? I afraid I smell a con job. Of course I'm paranoid. Try to find someone close to you and who won't loss her own number. I don't want to promote any sites, but there are Plenty Of Fish out there. They are free to use and talk on. I know I've had good luck on them.
You just made 2 friends here. Yea, we're not women, but we do have a lot of experience. Michelle and the other women may step in also. I know we're older and a lot has changed. We will try to guide you on the right path. The main thing is be comfortable with yourself. That confidence will carry you a long way.
If your still in college, you have got a lot of time. I didn't have a steady until I was 20 years old. I was stationed in Naples It. It lasted for 6 months. I still miss her on occasion, but I knew I had other things to do with my life. I have traveled the world and was 28 when I married. I had a more stable life to offer my wife. Your in college. Enjoy being young. If you can't find a girlfriend, find something to keep your mind off of it. Opportunity knocks when you least expect it. I have found friends (bed partners) when I wasn't looking. When I was, I was trying to hard and scared them off. Or worse, they lead me around and I paid for everything and got nothing. Be a gentleman, by opening doors, but go dutch on dates. You will be suprised on what happens when you treat a woman as a equal, not as her servant. They will see you as a man, not a toy. My opinion, if she sees you as a toy or wallet, then she's not worth it.
Here's a couple of suggestions. You said there is a local hospital. Find out if they have a volunteer department. Someone just to talk to patients or work the info desk. Usually the work 1-2 days a week for a couple of hours. I know our local church offers free meals 2 times month. One dinner and one lunch. There are about 6 churches that offer this over the course of the month in my area. I know they always need help. Goodwill, Salvation Army, Volunteers of America, or even the local food pantry can alway use help. The local schools take volunteers to help the students in education or sports. Girl Scouts or even Boy Scouts can use help guiding our young people to better things. Let the Kids have the part time jobs. I say that because if your financially set and bored, the unemployment rate is high and the younger folks need the jobs. Also as a volunteer, you make the schedule when you can work. If you can't show up for some reason, they can't fire you. Don't forget to make sure pa doesn't forget he's retired also. Drag him off a little. Isn't that what retirement is about. ENJOYING your life and your life partner. I don't recommend a pet. Your retired, not raising more children. That is a replacement for children, in my opinion. Why would you want to clean up crap, hair, and chewed up items all the time. They just tie you down and you can't always go where you want. These are just some recommendations and my opinion. I hope you see that retirement isn't just quitting life. It's a new course in a ongoing ride.
First of all sorry you got suckered. When it starts costing you money to talk to the girls, it's not a dating site. It's like a old 900 number. The more you talk, the more it will cost you. She will love you as long as the money holds out.
I've been on a few dating sites. I have found quite a few are free and you talk to real women. Not a sex site worker. Legitimate dating site may cost you about $19-50 (US) a month. They will screen and match you with possible partners. I used 2 sites that cost me about $25 a month. I only used them about month and found at least 3-4 "friend with benefits" on each one. One I found my current and permanent partner.
If your looking for a "hook-up" or a permanent partner, on-line dating is a good option. Just be careful and think with the big head. $100 a day just to talk is foolish and wrong. "Oh, the model is hot for me." is the wrong way to look at these people. It's your wallet, their looking at. Hey for $100, you can find someone to take you "around the world." not just talk about it.
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