Dennis we have done this for the last 26 years. The boys are exposed to local goverment folks (fireman, police, mayor, city council) and local business owners. One of our bidders owns 5 local McD. and another has a spray paint plant. The boys also met local business managers when the ask for donations. I have spoken with a few business owners and when they hire young people for jobs, they look at Boy Scouts as a positive thing. I could go on and on, but the point is to take these young men and show them more of what's out there. Not just drugs, welfare or a dead end job, but life. It's a wonderful thing. Don't waste it.
Roh, again your artwork is wonderful. I total agree with Dennis. Keep it coming. Your talent is like life, share it with the world. There is no right or wrong way of expressing your feeling or emotions in art, as long as you feel you captured what you want. I can see you are capturing your feeling in it. Keep it up.
Michelle, I hope your days and nights are filled with what you wanted and no bad suprises.
I don't think you understood my posting. We had a spaghetti dinner and auction. We did have a few cakes as desserts and some local folks made some pretty cakes for the auction, but we had a live auction with items collected from the local community. I cooked spaghetti and helped with the sauce. We had a pie and a spaghetti eating contest. The boys worked with serving, clean up, and assisting the folks who showed up. Young people have to learn to work for what they need and want.
Went on your site today (yesterday now). Wonderful. I want to see more. I didn't see one "too big of a bill" in the whole group. (LOL) Your very talented and have passion in your work. On my days off, I'll look more indepth to your site. I agree with Dennis whole heartly. I'm glad your work helps with your life, because that's where the passion comes into play. That's why Piccaso had different periods. I'm also glad you paint pictures and not splats. Never understood calling paint smears art.
Get to the library or borrow a computer. Roh's art really comes alive. I'm glad you like the term "robust", because I hate the term "PHAT" in any form. I have also found the best time I had getting a "friend" was when I wasn't looking to get a friend. Besides, you keeping yourself shaved is always a good idea. I always liked less brambles in the valley, but it never stopped me from exploring. I've been to the beaches in Italy. Beautiful, topless, dark tanned women, who when they wave, look like the have a fur coat under their arms. First time was upset, next time was excited.
Scoutmaster for about 3 years now, and the big secret to baking is BAKERY. Let the pros do it. My aunt worked in a bakery for years, OMG. Talk about pies and cakes. I've cooked and food prepped for years. I'm not a chef, I'm a cook and will always be just cook. (not like Steven Segal) (LOL)
You and Michelle will find some one. Each of us have been down the marriage/relationship road before and now we know what we want in a partner. We're at the age of wisdom and comfort. Even without a steady gf, I was comfortable with my life and I was smart enough to know it. We take our pleasures and comforts seriously. We know the pain, now we appreciate the pleasures. You said I was lucky I found someone. I am, but I truly believe both of you will also.
Roh, I'll look at your site when I get home. My system is very restricted here. I'm looking forward to seeing it.
Like everyone else here, I'm sorry he hasn't learned and is a total crud. Guess what? You want to know his phone history? Get your itemized cell phone bill. It has date, time and phone number of each call and text made from a cell number. This is the data tracking, digitized world. If you put it on the net, it's on the net forever.
Like you said, if he was going to win you over, he had to put some effort in it. Now that you have made your choice, stick by it. Don't back pedal. Nothing worse than dragging your kids through the muck and then turn around and take him back.
Your perception makes your reality. Your perception is he hasn't changed. He won't change. Now you need to change his perception of you. Your not a floor mat.
As for the papers and terms he signed, unless they are filed with the courts or county clerks office, they're useless. You can take them to your lawyer and show you made an effort, but they mean nothing to a court. If they were filed, you also must stand by your side of the agreement.
When talking to your lawyer, He/She will advise you to take everything. House, car, child/spousal support, take full custody, and he pays all the bills. They should also tell you to do a restraining order on him. Do it all. It's leverage in court. He cheated, you didn't. He pays. You still pay emotionally, but hurt him worse. I've been through a divorce. I'm a man who got custody of his son, because she showed she was a useless mother.
Like all the rest of the posters stated, talk to your family. They are your safety net and support net. Your friends will show their true colors, when things come out. Family usually stands by you, with friends who can tell. Don't be offended if you loss some. Some people just see what they want to. I hope you don't loss any, but expect some to see it his way.
No matter what you do, do it for you and your kids.
Sorry Dennis, Didn't see this til today. It was a really busy weekend for me. I had to prepare for and then have a spaghetti dinner and auction for my Boy Scouts. We made over $4000.00 for the boys. Sunday was clean-up & rest day. Monday, my gf & I took her son back to college and made a day of it. Tuesday, Scout meeting and back to work. I get on this site at work to help pass the night away. I don't get on the computer much at home. Just to busy and I got to sleep sometime.
I see everyone had some good this weekend. Always take any good you can get, no matter how little. Roh, good to see your broading your view. Michelle, hug that good son. I'm proud of mine. Dennis, keep the positive vibes coming. We all can use them.
For a computer, go to the library. They provide free computers and you can set up the accounts that you need. You may even find a friend there. Watch what men read or borrow and then show some intrest in the subjects. Good way to start a conversation.
If you start using a dating site, this is what I did. I knew what I wanted. I was honest and truthfulness. Stated exactly what I wanted. I stated in my profile: no smoking, no drunks, what I wanted out of the relationship, what I wanted for my future, Stated I expected adult relations (sex). If they didn't live up to it, then they got passed over. They had to have a job or source of income (no free loaders), transportation, and a life other than me. They couldn't be on paper. Being in law enforcement you know what I mean.
Talk/email/chat first then meet in a public place. You only have to meet them once. If it's good, go on. If it's bad, end it. It's up to you.
With my gf, I didn't even have a picture before hand. Just a discription of her and her clothes. We had talked for over 2 months. She said she almost didn't come that night. She says now she's really glad she did come. So am I.
Someone is out there for you and your pleasure. Go find them.
Your step-dad was a fool. As for finding someone, they are out there. You will never find a good partner in a bar. All you find there are drunks and leeches. In my experiance, the only men who go to church are married, at the point in their lives that relationships are not a priority, or sex is gone.
I met my gf through a internet dating site. I went out with a lot of women. I was a man whore after the ex and I broke up. I couldn't get enough. I emailed and talked to my gf for 3 months before we even met. It wasn't love at first sight, but I had come to respect and care for her by then. The sex came later, but she knew my specfic thoughts on that subject were and still are. She knew by the 3rd date it was put out or get out. I wasn't going through what I went through with my ex again.
Men do have it easier. I know I love a woman with a strong libido and a robust figure (gives you more places to kiss). Don't despair. I know there is some one for you.
Electronic media does have it's advanages. You can give reviews of stores to more than just the local management. If you feel your being harassed, let the world know. You have an outlet with facebook, emails, and news media. No business wants bad exposure to the public.
A store that you can prove is harassing mentally and physically challenged people won't last long in the world today. This is why we have handicapped accesses, parking spaces, and special laws to protect our special needs folks.
You also have to remember in today's society, with unemployment and drug abuse, businesses have to be on guard. A local mom and pop store that doesn't keep an eye on people will bleed money. A woman changing a diaper in the store, can walk out with hundreds of dollars of items.
A friend of mine works at Walmart. Their store caught a 5 year old with a $200 silver ring in his pants pocket that his mother had given him to take out. Mom was a drug abuser and grandma with them had over $500 in small items in her purse. Mom had already been caught in other stores in town and were on a watch list passed around town.
I'm sorry to say, the more you say I wouldn't do that, the harder they are going to look at you. I can also tell you they watch handicapped people a little harder. Not because they all are guilty, but they don't want the challenged person to hurt themselves in the stores.
You in a catch 22. The best you can do is expect to be watched and forget about them. If your not doing anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about.
This is not directed at the OP. To the people out there who are stealing, I hope you get what you have coming to you. People work to get ahead, then some slime bag steal stuff away from you. They don't allow whipping or public stocks in this country anymore, but we should. There are just some people who need their Arse beat, because they didn't get it when they were younger.
1) This man has a lot to answer for. I wouldn't be surprised if he put sex on the back burner. He cheated on you. I know you need loving, but he needs to work his way into your bed.
As you said, things are chaotic. His boss coming down on him for his actions at work, Lying to you, Keeping another person satisfied. Blood pressure meds now after being in the hospital. Sex might not be high priority because he might not have the energy or drive he had before. Yea, I'm throwing him under the bus, but he's a fool. He should want to show you how much he loves you, physically and emotionally. He also may feel his not worthy of you yet. (He isn't)
Check his meds to see if there are any sexual side effects. They may lower his pressure and he might no be able to function as well as before. He might be embarrassed he can't get it up.
2) He can still love you. Your the mother of his children, his life partner, and lover. You have faith he loves you and he has to prove it over and over to you for you to believe him. Just because he made a mistake, doesn't means he doesn't still love you. It means he's human. "To error is human, but to forgive is divine."
I can not say I still love my ex, because believe me I DON'T. I'm a very different person than you. I'm very cyinical in gerneral and not to forgiving toward her. Each of us have to decide what we are willing to forgive and what we're going to accept as love. I know you'll make the right decision for you. I also hope he sees you as the good woman and wife you are. No one is perfect, but it's something we must strive for every day.