I will try not to be long winded, but I need advice? About 9 years ago I got divorced and had two kids a girl who was 12 at the time and a son 10 years old. The divorce was not the smoothest in the world and probably did some harm to the children. Neither my ex-wife nor I ever used drugs and we lived in a very good up-scale neighborhood. After the divorce we move to two very good condominiums in the same complex with joint custody. Now fast forward to present day in June 2013: I have been living about 1,200 miles away from my children who still live near their mom. For the past 4 years I live with my Girlfriend and my kids have been down to visit several times. My son lived with use for two summers then went back to mom for school; my daughter lived with us for about 3 months about two years ago. A year ago my daughter had a child with a real loser for a husband that is now sitting in jail for the next two years. My son is 20 and had been living on his own for nearly two years. He dropped out of High School because he had problems with his mom. Both my kids are basket cases, but I divorce my wife not my kids. I still love them and care about them. Not this is the situation, the end of summer 2010, my son got angry with my girlfriend and had said some nasty choice words. My girlfriend is divorced, but never had any children. I don't blame her for being angry, but my son has special needs. His is floundering where he is 1,200 miles away and I can't get a job transfer back to where he is now nor can I find a new job there and give up 23 years where I work now. He is smart, but seems to be borderline autistic. I really need to have him move close to me, but my girlfriend is vehemently opposed to the idea. I do not plan to move him into the home she and I share; I plan to get him an apartment close by. He has asked many times to be closer to his dad and that he does not want to be supported by me forever, but he needs my help to show him how to take care of himself. His mom near him does little to nothing to help him so I am his only real hope. I love my girlfriend very much and I don't want to lose her, but I also have to help my child any way I can. Over the past two months when I try to discuss him moving down she gets angry and we start to argue. We never argue about very many things and we have an excellent relationship with the exception of my kids. I try to put myself in her shoes as if she had a daughter that needed help and that she blasted me 2 years ago. I don't hold grudges, I don't think I would want her living in our home, but if my girlfriend has her daughter in an apartment I would be OK with it. The only thing I can imagine is that perhaps my son would take time away from my girlfriend. Could she be jealous? Should I just turn my back on my 20 year old son to sink or swim on his own? I don't thing I can in good conscience turn my back on my kids, View Thread
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