I made a mistake in my typing - my son said she is a psycho ok - not me - wanted to make that crystal clear. Ok - he said this not me.
I do not want to ask her why she does not like me - I do not need any more stress with her - for now - stay away as much as I can and that is the best way now to deal with this person. I'm too old for any more stress.
As you get older, it's harder to handle stress.View Thread
You know you have the wrong impression about me - the only reason I turned the knob and went in the home was because my grandson was jumping up and down in the living room and looking at me - then I knew she was home.
I NEVER go into their home when they are not there EVER so wanted to get that straight -
I don't think you understand what is going on - on this last post - I am not an interferring mother-in-law - quite the contrary I stay away as much as I can - I let them have their space big time believe me - it's too stressful for me to get involved - I only watch my grandson WHEN they ask me too which is often enough - her mother rarely watches him and only lives 15 minutes away - I do my part and I have helped her out tremendously when she is running late from work etc - I do a lot for her - all I require from her is respect - that's it - she has never done anything for any of us - including helping with the dishes or bringing something - she doesn't do anything and that does include cleaning as well - she has a cleaning lady.
OK - maybe you don't understand where I am coming from - from all the posts it seems to me that I'm the bad guy - I'm not always the bad guy and it is not always my fault - I do not say ugly things to her okay - I live by the golden rule - but it is very sad that other people don-t -View Thread
Thank you - I will never walk in her house again unless my son is there but just wanted you to know with my post that I rarely really go over there - I stay away as much as I can because I don't want the stress of her -
This is not a perfect world and no one is perfect but when you have to watch every word you say it becomes stressful and hard so like I said I really try very hard not to see or talk to her and only do when I absolutely have to.
As you know, she lives down the street and when grandson sees me he starts moving towards me with, of course, her following which she needs to do as he is very young and have to watch for cars, etc.
Maybe I didn't make myself clear - I have never said that is rude - I am thinking about saying that when next time comes. I do not know what her reaction will be. Maybe she doesn't think she is rude - maybe she needs to be told that.
When I feel I have done nothing wrong I need to at least speak up for myself like when I brought over fresh peach pie I made - she says "I do not eat pies" - to me that is rude but said nothing. Maybe if I told her she was rude maybe she would think about what she said.
I hear what you are saying but still don't think you understand - these conflicts most of the time are one-sided - she is extremely difficult to get along.
She interprets a lot of conversation and twists it into something bad.
For ex a while back we were all going to take the grandson to the zoo - it was really cold during Easter and we were at the Easter egg hunt. It was getting colder and Jared had on a light jacket. After the egg hunt we were to go - anyway I was getting cold too - all I said was once you put a warmer jacket on him it will be fine.
She interprets this as I am accusing her of being an incompetent mother and told me so.
I'm sorry I thank you for your comments but this person makes the entire family including my daughter tense because a lot of the time she interprets what we say and makes it into something bad when we did not have those intentions.
Anyway, I do stay away from her - my nerves cannot handle this anymore so I rarely go over there just to make myself clear as to what I do. When I get calls to help with babysitting I always but always say yes - unless I have dr appt or something. I do a lot for her - actually her mother rarely comes to visit nor does her sister and brother.
Her brother told my son when they were getting married good luck with her - he didn't know why he was marrying her. Anyway, I am not always the troublemaker - when you get older it is hard to handle stress - I find it more difficult -
I still feel we need to be treated with respect.View Thread
I rarely go down there ok - I am not a MIL that goes there often - I can count on one hand how often I go there per year.
I plan on not going there unless my son is there ok - I feel many times she starts stuff - I have never said anything ugly to her so though your advice is good - it doesn't souond like me.
I am always helping her - whenever they need me to babysit I always say yes - AND I do not talk to my son about her - it was just this last time I do - no - I don't do that either. Maybe I didn't make myself clear in this post. I never said she was a psycho - my son told me this - okay - just wanted you to know that.View Thread
Hi - I am from now on not going to let her get to me and respond - I usually remain silent - I am going to say "you were very rude just now" and wait and see what she says - if she says "you hurt my feelings" - I will just say WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS - I am twice your age and cannot handle this kind of abuse.
Whatever happens after that who knows but I feel when someone verbally abuses someone else - you are never going to get any respect unless you speak up. Yes, I will be taking a chance as far as my grandson goes but I'm a fool for never saying anything.
I think most other people would say something - verbal abuse in my opinion is just as bad as physical abuse.
thanks for your posting - appreciate your commentsView Thread
I have a DIL from "hell" - sorry for the word but she is impossible - they live down the street. My son is just staying married to her because of a child they had together - he is 2.5 years - sad deal.
Am always having confrontations that are ugly. Yesterday I had made a peach pie and brought 2 pieces over to her - my son wasn't home yet. It was so so hot and humid I rang the bell and waited at least a few minutes - I could tell she was home as my grandson saw me and got excited and is so sweet - well, I turned the knob and went in but stayed right at the doorway as I was so very hot and it was cooler inside.
She chewed me out for barging in the house saying she does not like me to come in without being invited by her etc - rolling her eyeballs in disgust. I said nothing as I'm afraid if I tell her off I won't see my grandson. Then, looking at the pie she says I don't eat pies.
I left and was upset - I said nothing - talked to my son and he says there is nothing he can do about it - she is what she is but suggested I go to their home when he is home to avoid this which I will do.
This is not the first confrontation - I really do not say mean things to her or do ugly things - she is just impossible -
How do I cope - what do I do - no one really tells her off - they are all afraid of her.
I would like to tell her to jump in the lake - or something but I am so conditioned to say nothing because of our adorable grandson but frankly I am tired of this verbal abuse.
What can you suggest - I will check this board tomorrow and hope someone out there can give me some good advice in how to deal with very difficult people.
I love my grandson but I cannot stand his mother - she is a "psycho" for sure and my son agrees but chooses to stay with her now for the sake of their child - he said he would have left her a long time ago if there were no child involved.
He is just staying with her because of the child - he told me he would have been gone long time ago if it wasn't for the child.
Sad - he will be miserable for a long time but who knows maybe he will leave her when child gets older - hard to tell and it's not my business - we support our children with whatever decisions they make. It's his life and he is an adult and will have to make his own decisions is what I believe - thank you for your help and cooperation in this matter.View Thread