Hey Dennis! I do alot of reading and not responding as Dr. Becker-Phelps mentioned. I enjoy reading your thoughts and insights. They are very helpful and refreshing. Just wanted you to know that.View Thread
Another idea, you want to wash your hands of him and the situation, you want to feel better about yourself. so get up and go wash your hands. Literally! If you have soap that also has moisturizer in it you'll be pampering your self esteem and worth at the same time.
All this may sound silly and at the same time doing something physical instead of thinking it actually produces more or better results.View Thread
Hey An_244884,I've listed some phone numbers and a link below that you may find useful. Your situation does not sound at all healthy for anyone involved. Most importantly for you or the children. It seems that unknowingly you're instinctively following the pattern in which you grew up in and am trying to break that cycle. If you can contact one of the numbers listed below they should be able to offer some guidance. Are you able to emotionally detach yourself from your husband? If so, I think that may be a good place to start in gaining your esteem and self worth back. Think of the old childrens saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". And imagine that in your hand you hold a pair of invisible magic scissors, use your two fingers, when you're thinking of or remembering the things he says and does, use those scissors to cut the rope that binds you and at that moment say "Snip". You can do that when he is talking as well (maybe not right in front of him if there's a chance he'll get physical). And by all means keep posting on here. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm Domestic and Child Abuse
Now that all the children are grown the emphasis has lightened up some. Or should I say toned down. We still have the morning "Happy Birthday" greeting with the kisses and hugs. Cards are given, I plan a special dinner and if possible something special to do or place to go. Can't forget the anniversary because it's on my birthday.View Thread
I think any place of my employment did not condone romantic relationships between co-workers. If nothing was spelled out in the policy and procedure it was definately one of the unwritten rules.View Thread
I don't know where 'you' are in respects to your situation. Do you work outside the home? Are you depressed? Are you feeling like a shut in? How old are you?
I think a great way to start is with the small and simple pleasures that we often over look and can be done in the comfort of your home: a hot bath with lavendar oil and calming music - do your nails - facial moisturizer - work on those rough areas(heels) with one of those pumis stones or the like - lotion up - if you don't wear make-up regularily put on some mascara - play with your hair to see if there is a different look for you - make it a point to get out of your liesure wear - appreciate you and being a woman, recognize it. It all comes from within.
As corny as it sounds, do some soul reflection. Get in touch with your inner you and the connections of all things the universe has to offer. Read up on some inspirational quotes, Chicken Soup for the Soul comes to mind.View Thread
How old are your children? How old are you and your husband?
Your husband may have early signs of low testasterone or ED, or natural aging of his man member(there is a slideshow here on WebMd that explains it some). If so, maybe he doesn't really know it yet or maybe he does and is embarrassed. As you described how he handled it and the things he said I can't really say that he was out to hurt your feelings. I don't think he was and I think you may be over reacting a bit.
It sounds that you're feeling insecure and self-conscience about your body. Maybe a little too much. Withholding sex for this reason(anger from the hurt) really doesn't get anyone anywhere, meaning there's no resolution to working through it like trying different positions or what not.
Has your sensations changed in anyway while you're aging? Many of us male or female experience this.View Thread
If I was experiencing this I would know that I do not love him and I'm not in love with him. Especially with what you wrote in your last paragraph:
"But the thing is, that emotional bond wasn't really that significant even when we were together physically. He makes me laugh. He supports me in my goals. But then sometimes, I feel I don't know him. I don't know him all that well because we don't share that strong emotional bond..."
"Have you been in a relationship with someone where your head tells you she/he is good, but then there's just something missing?"View Thread
Have either of you researched information on Blended Families? For myself, I don't think either of you are in the wrong, should feel wrong, or anything of the sort. It's just not your cup of tea, for lack of a better phrase. And it doesn't seem as though you are feeling much support from your partners. Blending families can be a very difficult thing to do. And it appears that in your situations the father of the to be or are step-children have yet to experience what you are going through because your children are already grown or don't have them. So he is clueless to your feelings. Not sure if there is a way for you to enlighten them without some research and information that they may be able to relate to using "empathy".View Thread