Hi there JerzeeOT: I as well have RA, some days are so much worse than others'. There are many other ailments that I have giwever I look at it this way: When I see others' who are in wheelchairs, some blind, Alzeihemers', Dementia, the list keeps on rolling. I have a very supportive family (Idont' know what I would do w/o) I have family and friends who care and love me the way I do them. I go outside and see the beauty whether it be spring,winter,fall or summer. Pls. dont' let this dark cloud hang over you. When I get the way you do, I first have a rest then decide on doing something. This can include my family or just me myself. If I dont' go outside for a walk I will grab a book (I may have read it before) but it may have lifted my spirits before.You were saying your fingers' were so very sore. Do some finger exercises, put your hands on the tbl. lift one finger then the next, do this until you have done all ten, then open the whole hand. For your children especially the 3yr. old, ask her to play a game with you. Say lets' count on mommys' fingers'. Have her lift each one and count with you. The youngest may want to play to so let her join in. To see the joy in their eyes' will bring you happiness. When we think positive we feel positive. If you have a hard time explaining to your "hubby" write it down". Explain to him that you have done it this way because it is so much easier for you to remember. You may find that he understands' more than you thought. Ask him to pitch in sometimes' to help you, let him know that this pain brings you so close to tears' if it hasn't already happened Remember if you dont' ask you dont' get a response. You would be amazed at how many are there for you when you ask. I understand you saying here I am supposed to be the helper as an O/T, myself I worked in the Healthcare Field to, its' hard to say "I just cant' do this today". Perhaps you should speak with your Supervisor unless you are Self-Employed. I am so very sure that they would be more than willing to assist you. Keep the exercises' going with your fingers', it really does help. When you wake in the morning, just stretch, tell yourself you are going to have a wonderful day. Smile back at your children when they smile when you wake them. Ask them to pick their clothes the night before. Ask for help with their lunches or whatever they need. As for your shampoo bottles, buy shampoo that has a "click" lid, not screw on top. While the kids are eating, do your ten finger exercise, thinking to yourself, WOW!! that feels good and so do I. Such a wonderful day. Think and stay positive. Say hello to your neighbour who is outside in the morning. When someone smiles at you and you smile back, it just gives you such an uplifting experience. Try it on Mom and you will be just fine.Think of those that you are helping at work the ADL's, I am sure that each one or most of are so happy to see you. Thanking you for being there for them. When you say "thank you" back just think, they really did help you today. Keep that upbeat feeling, it goes a long way. Take care of yourself, and I sincerely hope I have helped you View Thread