I don't know about anything anymore,what am i here for to be ridiculed,made fun of,to feel like i have no one. I don't even know if i'm really even doing this right now or if this is just part of a nightmare that won't go away!!I feel like no i am just so over feeling like there is nothing for me here anymore,i haven't left my house for over 2 yrs now excetp to go to court 4times,see 2 doctors,I can't bring myself to go out anywhere anymore,it's like i don't even exsist anymore,i have no friends now,i barley talk to my family and i live with them,it's like i am alone all the time wondering why i am even here,I constantly think about death and how i wish i were dead,i've tried several times to take it but i just can't die no matter what i try and i have tried so many ways for yrs now just too wake up again,I hate this place the pain,the disgust of this world in which i live,murder,rape,child predetors,i know i am in HELL and this is why these things are allowed to happen here,If there is really a Hell or God for that matter and if there is He does not come here or he just does not care,the voices i hear are sometimes just a whisper of my name other times they are screams of pain and hatred,i see blood and death always i can't sleep because of the evil that comes in the darkness,I lay awke for days at a time fearing sleep will bring the horror i see,I trust no one anymore they all want me gone or just to use me for something,following me always following me they spy on me,They probably are reading this as i write it,I know they watch me always they listen to my conversations,tail me if i do go out,survail my house with there devices wanting to know what i do and think,But i know they are watching so i watch them.............I can't think anymore my mind is just a jumble of thoughts words sights i don't know what to beleive is this real or just another dream......................why can't i just die thats all i want ......I hate this place in which i am trapped........i can't go outside i can bearly come out of my room anymore,i can't and don't even go food shopping or for that matter take a piss in my bathroom if someone is here,I'l just go in a bottle ........does anyone feel like this??????View Thread
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