About 6 or 7 years ago i kinda lost it. I tried to kill myself and had a 10 old daughter at the time to take care of. I don't know what really happened to me in those years i really can't remember I got really mentally ill in them years. I lost the first and best job i have ever had in 2002. I was really going crazy thinking ppl was stairing at me and laughing. Thinking ppl was following me all the time. I stopped taking my all my meds and ended up in a intitute for which i don't know how long. I know my husband and little girl really missed me. I am a little bity better now but not much cause when i go in stores i don't like to be left alone or i can't stand annoying sounds that really angers me. I was diagnosed with Schizophenia. I scared the hell out my daughter when she was young telling her that i would lock us both in my bed room and set the house on fire and don't remember. I fell like the worse person on earth. Right now i listen to my doctors and take my meds, but I am very scared that i will go back to the way i was in those dark years of my life. I had to keep on having HIV test done cause in my mind I thought i had the desease and no one could convince me that i did'nt. I do not get the meaning of life. What is the real purpose of being here? I am 47 years old and suprisingly my daughter turned out to be a wonderful 17 year old cause her father has always been there for her. Now I am there for her to she let me into her wonderful life. I look up to God cause he is our savior. I just wish i knew why i was here on this earth. And why i don't understand that at all.View Thread
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