Self Harm Community
Welcome to a safe place to talk and get support from others who have been ... more
See All
Preferences
My Communities
My Discussions
My Email Digests

That I'm simple and I'm okay with small/quiet/etc...but she insisted on it all...and when things didn't work out...she felt horrible.
My future in-laws...are well..they can be hard to deal with at times. One sister decided that her daughter's soccer game was more important then my shower. I was offended..but was able to shrug it off. She was beyond ticked. I told her...it's okay and that I loved my shower.
Now she wants time away from me and I am to leave her alone until the rehearsal dinner. She says we are still friends...but it hurts my feelings still. I kept telling her to please keep it simple..that I was truly okay with simple. So I'm angry that she caused undo stress upon herself and made herself sick with stress. I asked: do you want to do a speech at the wedding? She asked, do you want me to? I said, "It would be nice, but if you are not comfortable with it, then it is okay you don't have to." She said she would do it.
So I didn't respond to the e-mail she sent because I want to give her room. I still feel lost and guilty...View Thread

Support is the best. I wished my mother would have noticed that I was depressed and would have told me that she was willing to talk to me.
If it's easier for her...let her know that she can always write you a letter about how she is feeling. I always felt that writing my feelings out was easier and that I didn't have to look at the person. Maybe start of communication journal....it might help.
Great start on finding her help.View Thread

In so many words I told her that I don't want this to linger any long. I apologized for not sharing enough and attempted to explain that I have a very hard time sharing the darkness in my life because of all of those I have lost because of it. I want to protect others. How I never really see myself as someone who counts. That I don't want to lose a friendship because I am letting my past dictate both my present and future. That it was never my intention to do so.
I only got a text saying that she couldn't respond yet due to work. And some other very short/terse texts saying that she has off this weekend. I let her know that it is my weekend to work and got "okay then."
Why do I feel like I am being punished? I can never win with people. The ONLY person (who is not my parent) who lets me be me and loves me no matter what - is my future husband. He doesn't do this emotional punishment crap. He might get upset...but he wants to work it out and figure stuff out.
During my teenage years - my father was extremely hard on me. At one point I told my mom that I would rather have him beat me then scream at me and belittle me the way he did. Because at least it was something tangible...that that pain would go away. But the words stuck and clung to me. Being called a stupid *itch for about 30-40 minutes in a car because I was struggling in chemistry. I was SO close to the car door that if I could seep through it...I would have.
I can't keep friends...either I share too much or not enough. It hurts so deep. It is times like these that make me miss SH. I could turn the pain around and be the one who is inflicting the hurt. I could numb myself to the outside world. I could get my anger out and turn the other cheek (or at least come off that way). I have it ingrained in me that it isn't right to show or share negative feelings because: a) some one has it worse b) no one cares c) I am just a brat d) it isn't right to burden someone else
etc.
I just want love and acceptance. I'm tired of always being the forgiving one. Why can't others forgive me when I mess up?View Thread



Okay - so I've been dealing with a lot of stress (unsure of what was going on with mom's health/wedding/work/family/etc) - I held it in and thought: why burden someone else with all of this - I'm good - I got a handle on it.
Well the B-party happened and I got trashed - to the point where I FINALLY cried (it is still hard for me to cry about stuff these days). My MOH - my good friend - was so angry that I didn't come to her and tell her about what was going on...and I'm sure she was ticked that I ruined my own B party that she planned (I went home early cause my stomach was not in good shape). I can't drink like that and I guess I was drinking a lot to mask how I was feeling (unconsciously).
Anyway - she even told me "I was so ticked at my sister when she hid her feelings from me and now you have done it to me." Now I'm getting a cold shoulder which is making my anxiety go up. I literally have a month before I get married. She's in the wedding (MOH)...I don't know if I should let this go and leave her be...or do I say something? Do I try to send her another text and ask to hang out...and IF I don't get a response say: Hey - if we still have stuff to sort out - let's sort it out..?
Like I have said...it's making my anxiety really bad. I don't have many friends at all....and now because I don't know how to handle people giving a crap about me and not knowing how much to share...I've probably lost a friend...I'm so sad.View Thread

I have my hair trial today - so that should be fun. I just hope all goes well without all this work I have been putting into it and the day if perfect for me and my FI, as well as everyone else. I'm scared I am going to have a boring wedding or that too much drama (mostly his side) will happen on the day of.View Thread


I kinda figured I was forgotten on this board to be honest.
The stress level is certainly going up. I have social anxiety - so that part if kind of eating away at me quietly.
I have my hair trial next weekend. At the end of the month my friend has arranged a Bachelorette party (Totally have anxiety about that). Still some actual ceremony planning to do (I have been procrastinating horribly).
Family drama - wouldn't be a wedding without some.
May we will be able to get our marriage license...then June will be here before we know it.
I'm just so happy that I am marrying my best friend. It's gonna be weird living together though. I am so used to just being on my own and him going home at the end of the night or just staying a night or two. Now when I need alone time - I'm gonna actually have to find a way to have it fully lol.
Thank you for thinking of me - it means a lot to be thought of
View Thread
I deal with a lot of death/dying and really really sick people at work - so it is pure escapism from all that is reality. I found that it also helps me when I am feeling really super down.
I also am obsessed with memoirs. So my book collection is not just trash
View Thread
Also - if you are a Tori Amos fan - the character Delirium is base off of her.
Right now my BFF and I are trading trashy paranormal romance novels back and forth. I seriously don't know why I own a TV sometimes - it's barely on!!View Thread
See Related Mental Health Communities
Women's Health Newsletter
Find out what women really need.
Other Member Communities
- Dieting Club: 10 - 25 Lbs Member Community Share Your Tips and Support!
- Caregiving Member Community The Support and Understanding You Need!
- Parenting Friends Talking Member Community Get Support from Members Like You!
-
More Related Communities
The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.
Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.
Health Solutions From Our Sponsors
©2005-2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.



