To safe place, I haven't posted for a while but I still check it, I've been battling Si for a long time. I hid it from family for over a year , later I owed it to my children that they know about my Si. So far with a lot of work I've been Si free for nine months, it might not seen long to some but for me it was hard work and it still is, I found comfort here when I needed it the most.View Thread
[Trigger] Caution may trigger---------------------------------------------Caution----------
The other day I thought that taking pain pills was better than battling the strong urge to S-I, it didn't cause peace of mind, It caused me to wreak the car on the way home. Lately I have been having those nasty thoughts and feelings ( If you can understand I don't want to spell the word out and cause someone to trigger) thank God nobody got hurt, especially my kids. Mixing pain meds with antideppresents was not smart. So I decided to try my own style of rehad, I put my sharp objects away and dump any pain meds I had still. It's been 2 days, the upcoming day with the holidays and all will not be easy. Hope I can follow through with my new way of controlling my urges to S-I, In the mean time no more pain pills for me.View Thread
CAUTION MAY BE TRIGGERING...............................................................
Well today has been a very tuff day, with my counselor we are starting to deal with my abuse. Writing it out has triggered a lot of emotions, she is not going to allow me to wiggle through this, I can't if I'm supposed to make progress, Things just don't feel right today, My husband threw his cigarette boxes at me tonight and that set me off into a worse S-I mood. so much so there were thoughts beyond just S-I. I forgot to take my morning meds, left them at home on accident so that started the day off bad. When it's one bad thing after another and all things positive are out the window what do you do? My counselor question for me to answer this week is What would I want my kids to remember about me? This question is a hard one for me to put into writing, especially on a tuff day like this. I don't want it to come out sounding like my last letter to them, Any suggestions on how to approach this assignment? Please any advice would be helpful. View Thread
I am at home and tonight ( Sunday) I'm feeling ok, I guess thats as good as it get for me. anyway I'm going to tackle my assignment on Monday, I see my T on Tuesday, talk about doing things last min. If I was asked "Where do I feel it". I couldn't tell a T that cause my answer would be all over. My T said for me it was going to get a lot worse before it got better, so your right I have to take baby steps and watch out for the things that trigger me including her questions she wants me to work on. laterView Thread
[Trigger] Caution may be TRIGGERING to some...................................................
What do you do when an S-i er mentally feels dead inside and has spent the last 10 days not eating because it know longer feels like it's top priority in that persons life?
I have spent the 10 days under a lot of stress, not sleeping good even with sleep med, Food should fall under a positive coping skill however It only makes me feel like throwing up, Is this a problematic issue or is this a coping skill for the next level to living a life where S-I ing is controlled, I just feel like things are going down hill fast and there is nothing I can do about it, so with everything that's going on at the moment c tt ng was the last thing I should have been doing, I just don't have a care what happens right now nothing is on the top of my must do list, Help some wise advice would be nice, I FEEL DEAD INSIDE. Nopoin needs to get back in the saddle her kids need their mother.View Thread
Thanks, I still don't have a new therapist yet, I just feel like i'm going to be stuck at rock bottom before they get me a new one. working on my marriage doesn't seem like it's going anywhere. and when I have ok days, mentally I feel like my life is full of crap, I want to just hide out from the world, can I do that? and will people understand? I'm trying to make my situation change but I also feel like I have just given up,View Thread
Yes I am but right now she is only a temp one they still don't know when I will get my perm one till then I'm mostly on my own. So when things get bad It's all up to me how it turns out, sometimes I don't do a good job at it.View Thread
[Trigger] TRIGGERING--------------MAY BE TRIGGERING--------------------------------
The next door neighbor is at it again, He thinks his going to get him some, Not from me, besides he's old enough to be my grandfather. He started touching me on my shirt and my arm, I have told him to leave me alone but he's not listening. Between him and how my husband hurts me I just can't take it, It's triggering my memories of the sexual abuse I had to hide when I was a child. The only thing I turned to then was S-I ing. Today I'm trying real hard to put the addictive behavior of S-I behind me. I'm often stay away from the house during the day, I just don't feel safe there and I should be able to enjoy my home at any giving time. He's bring some strong trigger feelings in me(one of being angry and in turn triggers my need to S-I ) and most of the time for the sake of argument between my husband and my stepdad I never fought back I just did what I was told no questions asked, I don't want to be like that with the neighbor I want to stand my ground , i feel real real triggery at the moment, Because I have been trying to work hard at having a life that is not controlled by S-I. Over the past few weeks S-I ing has started to scare the heck out of me, I don't need anyone or any feeling to mess that up. Does anyone have any advice or do I just sit and wait to see how I react( how far my depression goes or my need to reach out for objects) in the up coming days? I have tried to contact the police office that deals with this kind of stuff but they pass me off to four other offices, one of them being the place where people go to reg, if they are sex offenders, that was not a place I ever want to be at again. so with police i got no where. Please help need advice View Thread
Thanks, sometimes I don't understand why I was handed this stack of cards. Oh does coco butter cream make old scars go away? my temp T said to use it, I don't think it will. What else is there to do when your mind is not on using your positive coping at the first sign of crisis? often my mind doesn't go to them at first. and that is where I mess up. Today my monster-in-law asked me how I got the scrape on my arm, like she doesn't know that I'm a S-i-er, that made me mad.why does she always do that to me. Although I never tell her the truth, she doesn't care, if I told her she would make me feel like an unfit mother. What am I going to do, S-I is starting to take a large amount of control me, where's my vacation.View Thread