I'm back from my camping trip. Had a great time. Now that I've been home a day, my mind is bringing up all of my anxieties. You'd think sleeping alone in the woods would cause anxiety, but it was peaceful for me. Here in my house, I have responsibilities, I have things I need to do.
I was reading DDT's response to Misty and realized I was thinking of SH'ing to prove to my therapist I need therapy. I can't communicate my pain or my issues very well.
Everyone keeps saying it's because I'm home alone all the time with no mental stimulation, yet I'm terrified to go out & do things with people. I freak out when someone invites me somewhere, because I don't want to seem like a bad friend, but it scares the poop out of me. I think I'll be judged, I'm too fat, I can't breathe, I'm not pretty enough, or young enough.
Boy, I guess I needed to talk, sorry for the long post. Just wanted to say hi, I'm back.
If the rain ever stops, I will have my "perfect summer day". Camping by myself in the Adirondacks. I go to a free campsite with no running water, but does have an outhouse. It's right on the upper Hudson river - no pollution here - just fast moving clear water.
It's beautiful, quiet, peaceful. Can read, watch the fire. Get up early & see deer. It's great & I was supposed to go yesterday, but this rain is making me wait til Sunday. View Thread
I don't see anyone not forgiving you, I see an extremely quiet message board. Haven't seen anyone other than, SK, Bonnie, you or me post anything on here for a while. (other than answering a roll call).
I believe you are still as welcome here as anyone else. The problem seems to be that no one is here right now.View Thread
I don't know, never went to the games. I wasn't a cheerleader - I wasn't in the "in crowd". I was drunk for most of high school. Hey, you can't get sober at 25 if you don't start drinking early. lolView Thread
Often I wonder how I am being perceived. I always think I am stating my opinions/feelings, etc. clearly, but I often get the wrong response.
I don't like texting, because I use sarcasm/jokes in my communication & it doesn't come across as that in the written word. I also have been told to stop using sarcasm by a few therapists because I use it as a defense mechanism.
If I didn't have my sense of humor, I'd go even more crazy than I am. I have a few friends who get me, but often I still get in trouble, because I have a lot of negative feelings & they sometimes come out in inappropriate ways. I'm working on it, but as we say it's progress, not perfection.
So, to answer your question - yes I think a lot how others perceive me & how I perceive the world.View Thread