My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", you can stay signed in to WebMD.com on this computer for up to 2 weeks or until you sign out. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Self Harm Community

Welcome to a safe place to talk and get support from others who have been ... more

Report this pic

besmith75

Joined: 04/11/2012

My Story:

I'm 37 years old with 2 beautiful sons and the cutest darn dog you've ever seen (she's watching me type with her big dark eyes so I feel obligated to mention her). And, I'm obviously here for a reason. I cut (I also have epilepsy, an active eating disorder, and am 4 1/2 years clean from a cocaine addiction that almost killed me multiple times). I've become extremely creative when it comes to explaining the cuts and scars...although I'm starting to run out of material. My SIV and ED are a secret (as far as I know) and I know I should probably seek the help of a therapist...but I can't imagine (at this point) opening up to somebody who doesn't know me or understand me about my innermost thoughts and feelings...and yet I'm on an anonymous discussion board. Huh, that one doesn't even make sense to me.

Report This

Latest Activity

Filter by:

Reply: I can't do this again....

I'm sorry SB. I certainly didn't want to drudge up painful memories for you. It's just a...

Posted by besmith75

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I can't do this again.... I'm sorry SB. I certainly didn't want to drudge up painful memories for you. It's just a...

I can't do this again....

TRIGGER..............................................................................

Posted by besmith75

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I can't do this again.... TRIGGER..............................................................................

I can't do this again....

TRIGGER..............................................................................

Posted by besmith75

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I can't do this again.... TRIGGER..............................................................................

Reply: Lovely ladies...

And Rugger...I have to say I'm loving the pink faux hawk. I'm part of what was labeled as...

Posted by besmith75

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Lovely ladies... And Rugger...I have to say I'm loving the pink faux hawk. I'm part of what was labeled as...

Reply: Lovely ladies...

First off Kate_Te...you are obviously stubborn. I'd like to add to your list if it's...

Posted by besmith75

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Lovely ladies... First off Kate_Te...you are obviously stubborn. I'd like to add to your list if it's...

Lovely ladies...

Okay...now that I'm full from our treat-fest...I just wanted to let you all know that it...

Posted by besmith75

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Lovely ladies... Okay...now that I'm full from our treat-fest...I just wanted to let you all know that it...

Reply: Happy Love Day

Oh...and Kate_Te...as a friend I am more than happy to help you with your reese's and kit...

Posted by besmith75

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Happy Love Day Oh...and Kate_Te...as a friend I am more than happy to help you with your reese's and kit...

Reply: Happy Love Day

Okay you guys...I'm trying to stick to my diet here...but I'll take the dark...

Posted by besmith75

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Happy Love Day Okay you guys...I'm trying to stick to my diet here...but I'll take the dark...

Reply: just want to be home TRIGGER

And sorry for all of the spelling errors. Sometimes I type too fast.

Posted by besmith75

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:just want to be home TRIGGER And sorry for all of the spelling errors. Sometimes I type too fast.

Reply: just want to be home TRIGGER

Oh Prophetess...((((hugs if okay))). You said that you'll be going hom to an empty house...

Posted by besmith75

Oh Prophetess...((((hugs if okay))). You said that you'll be going hom to an empty house where there is no one to get in the way of your SH. Honestly...only YOU can get in the way of your SH. I know that I've had times where I've planned where I'm going to do it...how I'm going to do it...and when I'm going to do it. Sometimes it's an elaborate plan...but I know that there is something inside of me that is making these plans. Something much bigger than the act of SH'ing.

Losing that dog was losing one of your best friends (I don't know what I'd do without my dog) and you need to grieve. Cry. Scream. Get mad at all of the unfairness in this world. Be loud. Get it out. Out of your system.

It sounds like you're experiencing a perfect storm. So much is going on right now and if you're anything like me...you can only take so much until your coping skills lead you to SH. So try to break it down and think about one thing at a time.

I already mentioned your dog friend. I am so sorry to hear about that. I truly am. I have a great virtual shoulder here...and you are more than welcome to cry on it.

Valentines day. I know it's important to some people. Trust me...I walked down the aisles at the pharmacy the other day to pick up my meds and I've never seen so much red and pink in my life. And purple elephants holding hearts? Really? Valentines day isn't necessarily about love or romance. I may offend some people here...but in many ways it's a retail holiday. A lot of cards are sold. A lot of candy is sold. And a lot of roses are sold. But you know who your best Valentine is? Phrophetess. I know...easier said that done...but maybe it's a day we can all use to focus on self love and not romantic love. Forget about the cards, candy, or dates. Overrated. Buy yourself some candy...take a bubble bath...and celebrate who YOU are.

I can understand how that movie might be a trigger for you. I was a heavy drug user for years. I've been clean for 5 1/2...but I'll tell you what...there are times I watch certain movies and reead certain books and I want to pick up the phone and make that call. Make that deal. And then I realize...I'm backtracking. I'm being affected by a work of fiction and letting it dictate that moment. I can't throw away 5 1/2 years of health and life because of it. Once again...easier said than done. But this is your life...not a character in a movie. I know it looks appealing. I know that you see it and you almost yearn for it. I also know that it will get you nowhere other than more depressed and upset. We always post triggers here because we know that what we say may have the potential to set someone off. That movie should have come with a TRIGGER warning...but it didn't. Look at it like a board post. It was someone elses experience.

I don't know that anything I've said is much help...but I am here...I did read your post...and I do care. I can't say I completely understand...but I do have an idea of how you are feeling. Just try to take it one day at a time...okay? Or one hour at a time...or one minute at a time. Whatever it takes to do what's best for you. Please be safe.

(((HUGS)))

With love,
BeSView Thread

Posted bybesmith75

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:just want to be home TRIGGER Oh Prophetess...((((hugs if okay))). You said that you'll be going hom to an empty house...

123 4 5

See Related Mental Health Communities

See All Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Member Communities

Dieting Club: 10 - 25 Lbs Member Community Share Your Tips and Support!
Caregiving Member Community The Support and Understanding You Need!
Parenting Friends Talking Member Community Get Support from Members Like You!

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.

Self Harm Community

See All