I'm going to guess (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that Kate's determination (which I also admire) didn't happen overnight. Change IS hard. I have quite the laundry list of problems & issues & I don't even see a T yet. I haven't felt ready. I guess that I am also scared. But I know that deep down inside the change has to come from me. I have to face my issues and do what needs to be done in order for me to be healthy. And I'm getting there. In a way, I know where you're at because I'm also trying to find my way. You can do it, OTW. You need to find your way from within. That's where the determination lies. You are a strong person. Strong enough to bare all on this board. Use that strength to heal. We all believe in you. ((((hugs))))
LLT...I just wanted to say that I lived in Maine when I was married to my first husband (many many moons ago). Oh how I miss the shore...the beautiful season changes (I've never seen a fall so beautiful as what you get in Maine)...and I even miss the fantastic accent spoken only by a true Mainer/Mainiac (no offense...I truly LOVE the accent...but I did have to teach my son how to say the letter 'r' when we moved back west). Oh you have made me so jealous and nostalgic...View Thread
I know that you posted this a couple of days ago...but I've been off of the board for a week or so. I've had some healing to do. All I can say is that nothing you said is 'stupid'. I've been there...and I know exactly how you feel. I did not experience SA as a child...but I experienced an extremely violent assault as a teenager. Sorry...that may be a trigger. I just want you to know that more than one of us here know what you mean and how you feel. It makes sense to us. I hope that you are feeling stronger and keeping yourself safe.
YAY FOR PAJA!!!! That Prednisone is nasty nasty stuff. I'm so proud of you for being able to open yourself up to hubby like that. And it sounds like you have a wonderful hubby. Keep it up! Stay strong! And breathe! (And do it all with olives on your fingers if that helps)
Not sure where that strange smiley face came from...but my sons are 17 and 8. And I also forgot to mention that I'm almost 5 years (July) clean from a cocaine habit that almost killed me multiple times.View Thread
Hey there! I'm B. I've only been on the board for a couple of months. I'm 37 yrs old & I have 2 wonderful boys (17 & and my sweet terrier mix, Lucy.
I have PTSD due to a rape at 15 and another rape at 35. I also have epilepsy, anxiety, and an eating disorder. I don't see a therapist...I'm on the fence with that one right now. I've been SH'ing since Jr. High. I have been able to go years without doing it, but it's come back full force since my mother passed away in 2009. I actively cut, but recently told my amazing boyfriend about it & he is helping me work through some things.
I work in a hospital laboratory. Sometimes I love my job, sometimes I don't. But, there is very rarely a dull moment. You must have a strong stomach & warped sense of humor to be a lab rat.
I love music. I love to write. I love the rain. But I think that sitting on my covered balcony drinking an iced mocha is my favorite activity. I'm a slave to a good coffee.
I haven't been around much the last few weeks. I damaged myself pretty good, but I've almost healed (on the outside). This board is amazing. Everybody is so caring & kind. I don't know what would have happened on Mother's Day if I hadn't had all of you wonderful ladies to hear me out.
I agree with Kate. Never apologize for anything you post on here. If you don't talk about it, then it's easy to hold it in and forget it ever happened. Putting it out there makes it real...which as scary as that is...that's how it needs to be in order for you to heal. I don't know your situation but my gut reaction is to do whatever you can to stay away from this person. I know...that's generally a lot easier said than done. Your first priority needs to be YOU. You need to keep yourself safe. On this board you will find sisters, friends, mentors, teachers, and students. We all fill those roles and that's why we are all here. To help one another through these dark places. We are familiar with where you are at and are standing at your side. I like Kate's suggestions. Self soothe. But (and here is the big but) keep a crisis line number on hand just in case. Trust me...you are not alone. Just knowing that has gotten me through some dark moments myself. Please let us know how you are doing. (((Hugs))) also if okay...