B75!!! Good to see you again! Gosh sounds like a lot on your plate - emotionally speaking. Its normal to get urges to SI when you are getting bombarded with emotions, that stuff can really get feeling overwhelming quickly.
I know when I get overwhelmed juggling all the multiple people in my house and me too. Sounds like you need a mental health day for you. Have older son watch younger and go to a movie, shopping, a walk a park, your favorite diner, museum, play etc. Do something where your mind is not on everything else.
When you are juggling that much with no breaks you get overwhelmed. Recharging batteries will help the urges.
You say: Why do I always end up back in the dark place?[br> cause it sound like you are in a sunny spot right now and its unnerving you a bit. Positive things in your life can do that. (new ling arrangements/new place)
I would make your main focus on dealing with all the stuff that is getting stirred up my older boy leaving - get though that first then focus on other stuff.
Some times Black you have to draw lines in your life. If someone is NOT healthy you don't let them on your side of the line. This person is clearly an abusive arsehole. You don't need that in your life.
Set some boundaries and don't allow that man to be around you or your family. That is how you protect/defend you and your fiance. That is all she needs from you. She doesn't need you to go to jail for assault.
The cousin? well until she is ready to end the abuse, there is nothing more you can do then what you already done.
One of the hardest things I ever did was to look at my life and decide is this person on my healing team or are they not. Then remove them or add them to my life.
Just because you are marrying into the family doesn't mean you too have to put up with abuse.
You did the right thing by not provoking him further. You have no reason to feel insecure. A man isn't muscle and bulk and acting all aggressive. There is much more to it then that.
Your trying to help cousin and listening to her is a sign of a great man. Your loving care of others and your fiance is what will show cousin what a man is really supposed to be. Perhaps in time when she sees what a healthy relationship should really be like she might have the strength to get the hell out the hell she is in.View Thread
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.