Has anyone heard of a connection between being on Wellbutrin and wanting to SH? I used to take it for years but was off of it for about a year or so, but the depression was getting so bad again that I decided to try it again. Now, not only is it not helping (about 6 weeks on it now), but I think I saw in passing somewhere this possible connection, and it never occurred to me that this current fight not to SH may be connected to a medicine. My PCP added Prozac to see if the combo will help the depression, and I made an appointment with a specialist (psychiatrist) to try to get some meds that work, but that appt. is about 3 weeks away yet.
It's getting harder and harder to function, and I don't know if wanting to SH is just because of what I'm dealing with right now and/or if the WB is causing it (or amplifying the temptation)...I will research it some more, but I just wanted to put it out there for food for thought.View Thread
Dear Kate_Te, I hear your pain. Just wanted to share that a couple of years ago I lost a friendship that was 20 years whose girls were like nieces to me. I watched them grow up, etc. It's not exactly the same circumstances as yours because with me it was because I made a mistake. I bent over backwards trying to make amends, and, you know, with friends one hopes that differences can be worked out, but she chose to totally cut me off instead. It still hurts. I still cry when I think about it. The whole story is for another post another day perhaps, but I do readily admit I made a mistake and said the wrong thing. I can't force her to forgive me. I have had to accept the fact that she has totally cut me from her life.
What also hurt was that I had recently moved back into the area and was looking forward to being around her and her family in person again. She wasn't the only reason I returned to TN, but she was one of them. We had a lot of history together. I stood by her through her divorce, etc., and she had always been supportive of my issues as well (mostly depression and weight issues).
I have made other friends since then, real God-sends who have been on similar PTSD paths, etc., and their support means the world to me. Kate_Te, I just wanted to offer you hope that other people will cross your path (or you, theirs), and there is hope for other friendships out there. And the others are right, I don't discount my on-line friends either. What a wonderful support the boards have been overall.
Also, ever since the PTSD started I have learned the hard way that I can't trust just any friend with my information, and some people I had considered good friends really just don't "get it," and have a mentality about them that is hurtful. The "just-get-over-it" sort, or, if they even believe me, I hear, "That was a long time ago, in the past, let it go." Well, hello? I didn't know I HAD it to let go, first of all. I started getting memories only 1-1/2 years ago, and I'm 48 years old. I'm processing them, and the heavy backpack of those memories gets a little lighter every time I can process it with my T, but it takes time.
Oh, wow, didn't intend for this post to get so long...I mostly just wanted to let you know that I know what it feels like to lose a long-term friendship, and it's really sad that ANYONE thinks they have the right to put you down or belittle you for any reason. Part of me gets angry for you, too.
May I join you? I love the beach and miss it so much. I brought some extra lounge chairs to share on the deck, and I also brought a supply of coloring books and crayons because that is what has been helping my inner child the most. A nice cozy breeze is here, but I think we can manage okay even if we end up needing to chase a paper or 2 that slips away.
I brought some iced tea, homemade M&M cookies, chips and dip.
Can't think of any humorous stories at the moment, but I'm happy to listen to anyone else's.View Thread
I do parent my inner child. I call it re-parenting myself. I color, read children's books, etc. A friend and I will sometimes get together, and I think it's really our inner children connecting, LOL.View Thread
Thank you. I don't think I explained myself too well, because it wasn't that he was "interpreting" the FB so much as he was explaining how my leap to the conclusion, that it proved I must be nuts and this can't be true, was incorrect. He explained some more about perps and how they operate, and it was such a relief to hear him explain things and re-validate my memories. I really don't want to share the exact FB, but that's the best way I can explain it.
Also, you are right. Children remember things differently (depending on the age, of course), and I've been pretty good about sharing with him just what the memory was - whether a scent or a cold floor or the view from the child's perspective. My artwork only depicts what I saw, heard, felt, etc., in the memory. I don't fill in the gaps to make a whole picture. To me that keeps it true.
One interesting thing was a certain FB in which I described to him the kitchen floor. I didn't have a name for the TYPE of floor, but I could see it and feel it's coldness. I told him that it was speckled and hard like cement. I didn't even KNOW I was describing "terrazzo" flooring! He named it, validated my description, and then I googled more about it. Sure enough, where I grew up and during the time period when the house was built, that was a popular type of flooring used! THAT was an OMG moment to me validating my memories. It's also a little freaky. I ordinarily would never have given the floors a second thought! Then I rummaged around and found a few family photos that showed the flooring and it was what I had remembered. (Goosebumps here!!)
Yes, my T has been teaching me that things may seem overwhelming at times, but my mind won't give me more than I can handle. I 've noticed that to be true. It's just that lately when I recover my equilibrium from a memory and begin to start to relax and focus more on coping with life and health, etc., then BAM, I get hit with another one. Sigh.
And this particular FB is like a part 2 to another one. Funny how we just get blips and pieces, but that protects us, too. I recognize that. I suspect there is even more to this memory, but it's enough for now.
I honestly think God connected me to the therapist I needed because he has been an enormous help to me, and I can even talk to him about embarrassing stuff because of how he handles it all....And as he told me once, "This isn't my first rodeo." I am not the first client he has had that has gone through this.View Thread
Hi, DDT. Just wondering if you still had those thoughts to share or did you change your mind?
Update: Ended up with 4 pieces of "artwork" and shared them with my T today. I was very confused about one of them, but he explained it to me, and now I more willing to keep believing my inner child and the memories.
Still waiting for the antidepressant to kick in...
DDT and Bonnie, thank you for your notes. I'm not upset about waiting for any replies, LOL. I post on these boards with my eyes wide open and no expectations. Many times I just need to purge some thoughts where I know someone will read them, whether acknowledged on the board or not. Obviously it is nice to be acknowledged, but I never "expect" it, especially when we are all on our own and everyone is in a different space and has their own struggles, or is simply on vacation. No worries.View Thread