my old account wouldn't let me log back in so here I am under a new name.
I am struggling at the moment - the last year has been very busy in lots of ways. I am now a qualified university lecturer and have been working stupidly long hours at a number of different jobs (none of which are teaching) but I am getting to breaking point.
I managed to lose over 22 kilos earlier in the year and have been trying to get used to compliments but over the last few weeks I have just given up on taking care of myself. I had a really long period where I had no SH thoughts at all (which I never thought was possible) but now they are back. I no I am nowhere near where I used to be but I am scared I will end up back there. I have been signed off from all the mental health teams I used to have dealings with and only see my gp every two months to get my meds (which we have been working on reducing).
feeling very, very lonely and empty. I know I should probably go through my DBT info and try to work out what to do but I can't face it. it all seems a bit pointless reallyView Thread
Oh Paja, I have just read a few of your blogs and my heart blossomed, fractured then blossomed and back again. Your writing continues to be amazing and I can't wait to read more. Yours will be the first blog I follow. I have yet to get my head round why anyone would want to read anything I have to say so haven't ventured into the world of blogging yet.
Off to bed now, another busy day of work tomorrow. fingers crossed I can keep my mind in focus - I have a whole day of theory lectures to take notes in zzzzzzzzzzView Thread
I have always loved owls and recently had the chance to hold and fly them, which was totally amazing. Funnily enough I was talking to someone last week who said that owls had a strong connection to the moon. I have a keen interest in ancient history/mythology and pagan pathways (both of which, over the past few years, I haven't been able to concentrate on). Once I have finished at the pub, or maybe before, I will start reading more about her and see what comes up.
I have finally handed in my notice to the pub I work at 2 nights a week so only have 3 shifts left there. I have been stretching myself too thin and have finally realised it. Although it is good I am very scared too because that means I have more time for thinking and when my head is in the wrong place that is just what I don't want, Working myself into the ground has been my way of avoiding/coping but it isn't sustainable so I need to plan how I am going to cope with it.
The MH system changed here a while ago and it isn't as easy access it unless you are in a crisis (or so it seems) although if it carries on I can go to my GP.
right I am off to work at Uni then working at the pub tonight so long day ahead. Hope you have a good day
Hi Dem, good to hear from you and thank for taking time to say hi. I am looking forward to catching up with you and the others and hopefully finding the strength not to go back to where I was.View Thread
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