Things got so bad with my ex that before he could verbally start in, I would say: Yeah, I know, I'm fat, lazy, worthless, good for nothing, yadda, yadda, yadda... Is there anything new you have to add? Of course, verbal wasn't the only abuse and my smart mouth would set him off. I agree, that I did this as a coping mech so that it would not hurt so much... If I put myself down before others could then maybe they'd stop or see how it affected me... truth was he and others in my life did not care.View Thread
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and just hold you dear sister. Nothing I say can take away the pain this has and is causing you.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I could say: "I'd rather be alone than have hurtful people in my life," but I can not. That would not be true. Feeling alone and being alone, is one of the worst things I have experienced...
I wish I could drive over to you, scoop you up, take you back here to VT where people are more accepting and understanding of all that you are dealing with.
All I can say Kate-Te is that you are a wonderful woman and it's not okay for others to judge you, condemn you, tell you who, how and what you should be or how you should live. They are not you, feeling your emotions, hearing your thoughts, experiencing your life, in your skin, as you.
Thanks Kate-Te. My T would like me to try "Radical Acceptance" as you have stated. I accept that crap happened and I can't go back to change it. I do not know how to as she states: "sit on it for now" or to make the best of my situation.
Example: Say I'm unable to breathe. My O2 sats are 94. I'm having issues with my blood and cells not being able to transport the O2 through my body. (Testing to see if it is bone marrow, CA is back, etc)... Now say because of this, the simple act of just trying to breathe takes all of my energy and just getting out of bed to go to the bathroom can take it's toll on me. Add in all of the Head Trauma's (TBI), Damage to the rest of me, hips, spine, etc so even walking is not easily done. How do I just sit with this? How does one make the best of this situation?